Question Series: Week 6 -- Does it really work?

Just recently, one of my girlfriends let me in on a secret she had been keeping from me for quite awhile. I have to admit I didn’t really see it coming.

She told me that she used to not like me very much.

At first, I was a bit taken back by the news. For one thing, this is a girlfriend who is very attentive to my needs as a friend. (Ya know, one of those people who call you just to see how you are doing and not to see what they can get you to do for them. Yeah…she’s one of those friends.) And on top of that, this friend is someone who has an incredibly tangible burden to pray for me. She prays for me constantly. Even when she doesn’t know exactly what to pray for me, she prays for me, anyway.

I had known for some time that she prayed for me as she drove by my house everyday. I knew she had an insatiable desire to lift me up in prayer, but I admit I didn’t know why. I think I chalked it up to her being really spiritual and really in tune with God and really sensitive to the needs and concerns of others. And all of those things are true about my friend, but that wasn’t entirely the reason she became a prayer warrior on my behalf.

But on the day she let me in on the secret she had been keeping from me, she told me where the burden to pray for me came from.

She said that she would see me at our church, dropping my son off at preschool. She said she would smile at me, but I didn’t return her smile. She said she tried to get my attention and tried to catch my eye, but I didn’t notice her to notice. So she eventually gave up her quest for friendship and decided she didn’t like me.

She even told a friend of hers that she would never want to be my friend because of it.

And so, when a mutual friend of ours began to mention my name and told her about the friendship we had forged, this girlfriend was, at first, surprised and maybe even, a little disappointed. But she kept her feelings to herself and began to listen to what our mutual friend had to say about me. Over time, she learned about the person I was. She was confused, because the information didn’t match her perceptions of me. She had begun to learn things she didn’t previously know, but merely judged by what she saw. And her heart began to soften towards me.

And that’s when she decided to start praying for me.

And so she would pray. Every time she would pass by my house, at least twice a day. In the morning, and often in the afternoon. Everyday. Consistently. With an open heart and determination to pray through her feelings. And over time, her feelings for me began to grow into love. And very soon after, our friendship was born.

She is now a very important person in my life and someone I enjoy a beautiful, healthy friendship with. Ours is a friendship based on love, respect, and consideration. There is an understanding in our friendship and ease in our relationship. I love her, and I’m grateful that God brought her into my life.

And the cool thing is, I don’t even have to ask her to pray for me! I already know she is.

Ya’ll, pray works.

And just in case I ever doubted that it did, I recently got a recent firsthand reminder.

As with most things in my spiritual life, my marriage is my #1 catalyst for heart change. I have openly written about how marriage is especially difficult for an independent soul such as me and how I struggle sometimes in my role as a wife.

My husband is not without his flaws, but he is a man of character and is very good to let me be me…while at the same time, not letting me get away with things. I admit that my selfishness has gotten in the way of what God wanted to do in my life (and in my husbands) on more than one occasion. It’s a constant and daily surrender for me to give up my control and put my husband’s needs above my own. I’m ashamed to say that it just doesn’t come natural to me.

And so…several months ago, on a retreat in the mountains, God impressed upon me that I needed to give much more priority and time to praying for my husband. I knew what He meant. I had always prayed for Scotty, but more times than not it was a 2-3 sentence prayer, shoved in between all the other prayers in my daily prayer time. I knew that what He wanted from me was much more deliberate, determined, and focused prayer for my husband. In fact, I truly felt like this was my spiritual call and mission for the months to come, above everything else.

When I returned home from the retreat, I pulled out my book, The Power of a Praying Wife. It had been on my bookshelf for quite some time, but I had never bothered to open it. I started right away, with chapter one, praying for my husband, daily, and with a newfound focus. I prayed for his protection…his reputation…his faith…his walk…his parenting and even, his wife. I was deliberate and dedicated. And after a few short weeks, I began to see things happen.

After months of very little work coming in, our family construction business had taken some severe blows and was affecting Scotty in a very profound way, both emotionally and financially. But on one particular day, in my prayer book, the chapter was on praying for his work. So I did, and I was surprised at what happened. Scotty came home from work that day with an unusual bounce in his step and told me of how the office phone had been ringing all day and how they had a few new potential customers. I was thrilled to be able to tell him how I had prayed for him, specifically in the area of work that day and I could tell he was, in turn, thrilled I had prayed. It worked.

Another day, he had come down with a bug of some kind and was not feeling well. I opened up my book that morning to see what chapter I would be focusing on, and low and behold, it happened to be on his health. So I was able to pray for that need, specifically, on a day that he truly needed physical restoration. And it worked.

And other things like that have happened as I have continued in deliberate, focused prayer for my husband. Through this journey of praying for Scotty, I have watched our relationship grow and flourish. And there have been other neat results. A few weeks into my book, Scotty was so moved by my focused attention to praying for him that he went out and bought the book, The Power of a Praying Husband, to begin working through that at the same time! I cannot tell you how much it thrilled my heart to know that he was inspired to pray for me out of the obedience of my heart to first pray for him. It worked.

And it reminded me that God knows exactly what He’s doing when He prompts us to do something. He knows what the results will be when He prompts us to pray.

Yes, friends…prayer works.

And though I have sometimes questioned whether or not it does, I look to these reminders (and many others) in my life of the power of specific and deliberate prayer. Prayers of the focused kind. Prayers of the specific kind. Not generic or spasmodic. Not surfacey or insincere. But passionate. Attentive. Reverent. And uttered from a clean heart and with clean lips, seeking His way and His will and His spirit. I believe these are the kind of prayers He had in mind when He encouraged us to “pray about everything.” (Phil. 4:6)

And yet, I think sometimes when we pray and don’t get the answer we want, somewhere in the back of our minds we begin to wonder if it really works. Funny how when we get the answers we hope for, we don’t question the validity of prayer, at all. Interesting how we see it on our terms and not His.

Seeing it on His terms means praying sometimes when we don’t feel like it. It means praying for someone sometimes we don’t like. It means recognizing that prayer is not done for what we can get out of it but what we can give Him from it…our heart, our flesh, our burdens, our life. It is knowing in our heart that it works, even when we don't get the answers we are seeking.

It works.