ExPoSeD.

After all the build-up and fanfare…it’s here! Today’s my last day of posts in 2007, and the day you will definitely see the “real” me. Funny thing -- I'm kinda nervous. :)

I’m thinking you probably aren’t sure whether to be intrigued…or frightened! I can certainly understand. I’m actually not trying to do either, but rather, take you on my own personal journey for truth and authenticity in my life. (Ok, I guess I did want to intrigue you enough to get you back to read this post. But it worked, didn’t it? :) )

Anyway. Here is what I know. Before I can expect anyone to be real with me, I first have to be willing to go there myself.

That’s what this blog post is all about.

I guess whether or not you visit my blog again depends on how much you appreciate what’s real. For me, I have always loved interactions with real people who don’t profess to be perfect and aren’t afraid to tell the truth. I’m not talking about the heart on the sleeve kind of thing…I am talking about honesty…integrity…knowing oneself…and learning how to wear the flesh I was born with while not letting it rule over me. Telling the truth is an integral part of that for me.

I’ve kept you waiting long enough, so let me get started.

First, I have a question for you. Take a minute and answer it carefully and honestly.

Is what you see always what you get?

I could illustrate this point with many different things, but in keeping with my “getting real” theme, let me illustrate by using a few “snapshots” from my own life…

Here are some things I want you to see…




























Here are some things I don’t want you to see…

Here are some things I want you to see...

Here are some things I don't want you to see...

I know, I know. Not too glamorous, is it? (No, I was not on drugs or sedated in these pics -- that is really what I looked like after a day at home with a cold, after having cleaned the house!)Certainly these second round of pictures are much less pleasing and attractive than the first set. I wish I could have stopped with the first set and not had to post the second set for you. I wish I could let you think the pictures of a put-together house and smiling girl with professional makeup and hair was exactly who I am. That what you see when you visit my website or my blog is the real me, 24-7, all the time, everyday. But that wouldn’t be full disclosure, now would it? :)

Speaking of which, I think this is a good time to tell you what I have in common with a well-known Hollywood actress. Stay with me. I promise, it all relates.

Jaime Lee Curtis -- the woman known largely for a most bodacious body (think True Lies). I wanted to post her picture here, but I wouldn’t want any male readership to come across it. Their wives might not appreciate me posting it! (Hint: google her)

She could have stopped with our impression of her in a skimpy bikini and let us envy her for looking so perfect. She didn’t have to do anything to change our opinion of her perfection. She didn’t have to get real. But she did. Take a look...


I still remember the first time I saw this picture -- the gutsy move this Hollywood actress made when she posed for a magazine in boy shorts and a sports bra without (gasp!) any airbrushing. At the age of 44, Jaime Lee Curtis showed her “real” side by allowing herself to be photographed without make-up, spray-on tanner, or photo shopping. She did it to show how 44-year-old women REALLY look, without the help of computer-generated doctoring. And I have mad respect for her because of it.

So, what do we have in common? Not much, really. I have never made a movie or gone to a movie premiere. I have never experienced fame and don’t personally know any Hollywood actors. I have never even seen the kind of money she has at her disposal. I don’t live in California, and I wasn’t raised by parents who were famous. I have never had the killer body she had or lived the glamorous life she leads.

But I do share her desire to cut through the “fluff” and just be real.

In truth, I have always been a get-real kind of girl. But I have to say, age and deeper spiritual maturity has given me the increased desire to be authentic and real in any and every area of my life. And, in this last post of ’07, I am exposing myself and my soul to you in the best way I know how. Following Jaime Lee Curtis’ lead, I want to be an example of what non-perfection looks like.

She looks like me.

But pictures won’t tell you everything. Just in case you think dust on my baseboards and junky garages and closets are my only imperfections, let me further expose myself to you. Rest assured, there are other things I don’t necessarily want you to “see” about me. I sure hope you can handle my truth.

I don’t want you to see...

...I am sometimes very stubborn.
... I sometimes eat too much and regret it later.
... I sometimes justify my purchases at the mall and sometimes never think twice about them.
... I am sometimes not a very good wife to my husband.
... I sometimes laugh at jokes I shouldn’t.
... I have, at times, yelled at my children, even though I wish I could say I never have.
... I sometimes hold back tears when I really need to cry.
... I sometimes fear getting older and becoming more and more anonymous to those younger than me.
...I sometimes put other things before my relationship with Christ, and I sometimes stand Him up for our 7am standing appointment.
...my back fat, cellulite or growing number of grays and wrinkles.
...I sometimes compromise when I shouldn’t.
... I sometimes envy women who are more laid back than me and can let things roll off their back with greater ease.
... I get sad at times, thinking about my parents one day not being around anymore to advise and encourage me.
... I sometimes wish I had more money.
... I sometimes wish I laughed more and worried less.
... I often want to grab my children and keep them cocooned in our safe home forever, never letting them out of my sight for a minute.
... I sometimes don’t love my body.
... I sometimes get nervous, hesitant and insecure and want to run from serving God.
... I sometimes worry about my health.
... I sometimes am very selfish.
... I sometimes regret things from my past or strained relationships with people I once cared about.
...I sometimes try to control everything around me and wind up exhausted in the process.
...I sometimes think my way is better than God’s way and try it out first.
...I sometimes want to quit.
...Sometimes…some days…thoughts of inadequacies and shortcomings and failures flood my mind and make me feel very insecure.
...I sometimes fear my friends and family -- those I love -- might one day stop loving me altogether.
...I sometimes resist vulnerability, even though I need it more than most anything else in my life.

Though the list could go on, I will spare you the rest of my many imperfections. I think I have probably convinced you by now that I am far from any measured standard!

Friends, I am doing what I resist today – being completely vulnerable with you – because, well, I need to. It is easy to list all my “good things” on a profile or in a professional bio. It’s easy to show the world pleasing pictures of me that have been photo shopped or taken with a great camera angle. It’s easy to show you the things I want you to see, rather than the things that make up the “me” that I really am…the “ragamuffin” me I sometimes wish I wasn’t. But that’s not true authenticity. It’s not getting down and dirty, nitty gritty….real. And that’s what I want to do.

Jesus is a real God. He deals in real life. He tackles real issues. He desires real relationships with real people who aren’t afraid to tell the truth. He wants nothing more than for us to be real with ourselves, each other, and most of all, with Him. In fact, He can’t have the kind of relationship He wants to have with us until we are.

So, while I am far from any worldly measured standard of perfection, I am closer to spiritual perfection than I ever have been. With each day that goes by my imperfect body and fleshly, fallible nature is diminishing and I am getting nearer and nearer to the perfection I so crave. (“but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.” I Corinthians 13:10 NKJV)

But in the meantime, getting real reminds me to see myself through the lens of my precious Heavenly Father, who could not be more real if He were physically sitting in the room with me right now. I am a serial sinner, saved by His undeserved grace. I am a fearful, inadequate woman who can be fearless and adequate by His power and through His holiness. I am a mess of a person, but He continually cleans me up. Author Erwin Lutzre once said, “God is a specialist. He is able to work our inadequacies into His plans.” I don't know about you, but I am certainly counting on it! :)

With this thought in mind, I can be free to be the picture of imperfection and not be afraid to show it to you or see it for myself. I need to be imperfect so He can shine His glorious perfections through me for me and the rest of the world to see. People may not love me, but people cannot resist the Jesus in me. Boy, does that take the pressure off.

Girls, will you join me in getting real in 2008? Let’s not call it a resolution, but rather, a necessity for growth. I have long believed that if I am not growing, I am probably dying in some way. I’m not willing to let my need for others to think I have it all together get in the way of living in truth and authenticity! What about you?

My next blog will be in a new year. I have something exciting to share with you, and I hope you will come back. Don’t worry – there won’t be any other big “reveal” about me. I’m not sure if there is anything else to share after this blog! :)

Thanks for letting me expose myself to you. I hope I wasn’t too imperfect for your taste. Praise God I’m not too imperfect for His.

Lisa :)

5-4-3-2-1...The Countdown Has Begun!

In just 5 days, it will be my big moment of truth.

I will be going there.

...Being honest.

...Getting real.

...Telling the truth.

I hope you'll be back for my last blog of 2007.

In just 5 days...Monday, December 31st.

It promises to be quite revealing.

Lisa

P.S. What do I have in common with a well-known Hollywood actress? I'll let you know on the 31st. :)

Merry Christmas...and C'est la vie to stilettos!

Can someone say…ouch?

Yep, these are the offending party of the after-church foot pain I have been experiencing today. If they look like they hurt, they do! (Oh, why do we girls do this to ourselves?)

These size 8 stilettos are likely the last purchase I made for myself in ’07…bought a couple of weeks ago for a Christmas party. But it’s for reasons other than the fact that they are the most uncomfortable pair of shoes I have ever worn!

See, my husband and I have committed to do something in the months to come that is going to be both a challenge and a process. I could add a lot of fanfare to this, but I think I’d rather cut to the chase and just tell you about it…

For 6 months, we are not going to buy anything we want.

Yep, you heard me right: nothing whatsoever that is a “want” item.” Not a new picture frame or cute trendy top that makes me look skinny (for me)…no shiny new gadget or electronic “toy” or rims for the car (him). And…definitely no stilettos! (me, of course). :)

It was my hubby’s conviction – clearly prompted by God – to help him “fast” from constantly buying things because he can, not because he needs to. When he first told me about it a few months ago, I immediately thought about what a neat concept it was, but I was scared out of my mind to commit to it with him. “That’s awesome, honey,” I said, fully supportive. “I wish I could do it with you.” But for me, committing to something I won’t actually follow through with is not my m.o. I am a follow-through kind of girl.

If I say I will do it, I will…or I will die trying.

But God began to work in my heart, and this morning, I resolved it in my mind. I am going to join Scotty on a 6 month “fast” from buying anything I want. Things like basic necessities, toiletry items, etc., of course, we will still purchase. But the other STUFF will for 6 months be denied.

Please understand. I/we are not doing this for shock value or for bragging rights. Believe me, it is not going to be easy for me or for him. And I am DEFINITELY fully committing to this by verbalizing it for all of you and cyberspace to keep my accountable! (If you think of it, I would love for your prayers to go up for me about this!)

Some may think it's not that big of a sacrifice. But for us, it is. Some might think we are being a bit extreme since we really don’t live outside of our means. But he and I both feel like this is something God is calling us to do as a couple…and as an offering of gratitude for Him. And, we need to do it. (Me, much more so, than him) If I let it, shopping can be a stronghold for me. I might as well be honest about it.

My prayer through all of this is that 1) I will enjoy the bounty of what I already have (so much, too much!) 2) I will begin to get past a bad habit of impulse spending or the desire to want more 3) I will be an example to my children of self-control over self-indulgence and 4) I will go deeper in my relationship with God and rely on Him to fill any and every void or insecurity in my life.

Knowing God, this 6-month “fast” will take me places in my spiritual walk that I have long needed to go.

But I will keep my stilettos in close sight at all times, as they will be a reminder to me of an impulse purchase I made that I didn’t need…but rather, wanted. Ironically, the thing that I wanted so much one day sitting on a sales rack wound up causing me the most pain in the end! Hmmm…hear the symbolism at all in that?

So I put a challenge out to you today. I know it’s not the feel good thing to do with Christmas a mere 24 hours away! But in a way, it’s completely appropriate. Christmas is all about Him…and so is denying something that stands in the way of my relationship with Him.

But back to the challenge.

As you get ready to celebrate the start of a new year, think and pray about what God might want you to “fast” from in order to grow closer to Him. It may not be a shopping thing for you. But you and God both know what it is. What better present could you offer your precious Jesus than to give Him all of your heart, with no divided “loyalties?” If He truly is the reason for you to celebrate this season, then let Him know. All He wants for Christmas is you…all of you…and nothing less!

Rich blessings of a new kind to you in ’08!
Lisa

P.S. I cannot WAIT to start blogging in the new year! I am going to tell you more about what kind of things I am going to be talking about, but suffice it to say that I am going to be getting real…telling the truth…and going there. Where, you ask? You’ll have to check back with me to find out. I blog every Monday…and sometimes another time in the week when I just can’t wait until Monday to write! My next blog will hint at what is to come. Can’t wait to write it. Don’t miss it!

Ask, ask, ask!!

Can you believe I’m even using that word with what time of year it is???

Let me guess, parents. You are as tired as I am of getting asked for something different nearly every day for Christmas by your sweet children! Unless you shut the TV off for an entire month preceding the glorious 25th of December, the sights and sounds of every mechanical, battery-operated, soft and cuddly and cool toy and gadget available are bombarding your children. And that leads to a lot of ASKING…at least, in my house it does.

But today as I was wrapping Christmas presents, I couldn’t help but think of something of another kind that was “asked” last Christmas. Let me set up the scenario for you…

It was Christmas Eve, and our Whittle party of 5 was all seated around the kid’s Christmas tree with the overhead lights off and only the glow of the colored lights to light the room. As we looked around at all the handmade, homemade and significant ornaments, Scotty began to ask the kids which ornament they loved the most and why. My very-sentimental oldest son, nearly 9 at the time, looked for a minute and then picked his favorite for this year: a hip-swiveling Elvis that his Elvis-loving grandmother had recently bought for him. (We laughed and agreed that it was a pretty cool ornament.) My sweet little girl, 4 years old, pointed to a green-hand painted wreath clay ornament with her picture in the middle that she made at school, proclaiming it her favorite. (It was high on our list, too, as you can imagine.)

My middle son, age 6, had been sitting quietly while the others took their turn, clearly deep in thought about what his favorite would be. Scotty finally turned to him and asked him to show us his pick. When he did, Micah stood up and walked over to one side of the tree, carefully removing his top choice. It was a rugged looking cross, very simple in design. Though deeply moved, I wasn’t altogether surprised. Micah had just recently made a salvation decision, asking Jesus in his heart. And now his already-tender spirit was even tenderer to the things of God. Wiping away tears from my eyes, I could see Micah’s bottom lip beginning to quiver. I decided to ask him a question. “Micah, why do you love that ornament so much?” Still emotional, he looked at me and very simply said, “Because of Jesus.” I probed a bit more, though I sensed I already knew the answer. “Is it because of what He did for you on the cross?” As little tears slipped down his cheeks he couldn’t speak, but instead shook his head in an affirming “yes.” I reached up and hugged him and no more words followed after. We didn’t need any.

I was so glad I had asked.

So as I reflect on this sweet scene today, as I ready myself for the big day this year, I am reminded of the importance of "asking." In this season of the “ask,” let’s remember to ask our children questions that remind them of their faith. So often we don’t hear their heart simply because we get busy and forget to ask them about what is going on inside it. After all, their little souls hold great truth that is often just waiting to come out. If you take the time to "ask," I know their answers will bless you as much as Micah’s did us.

Here’s a picture of my now 7-year old Micah a few weeks ago, putting on his best “Santa.” :) Since I asked him the question last year, I am pretty sure I know where he stands on what this season is really all about. :)


Lisa

P.S. If you want to read another sweet “Micah” story, go to my web page (linked through his blog or at http://www.lisawhittle.com/) and go to “Recent Writings.”

All in the Name

Would you do something with me?

Wherever you are, in the midst of reading this blog, just stop for a minute…

…and say the name…out loud…

Jesus.

Good, isn’t it? Need to do it again? Go for it.

Jesus.

I did it with you. Instantly my soul was flooded with peace… calm… love… loyalty…and…a sense of…

Power.

What about you?

Just the name of Jesus packs a punch, doesn’t it? Man, what power it holds. This morning, when I asked the Lord what He wanted me to say through this blog, He said to me, “Remind them that there is power in my name.”

I didn’t even try to argue with that. :)

My first thought might be your first thought: how on earth could we as seasoned believers ever forget something like that? How in the world can we bypass or overlook the fact that there is power in the very name of Jesus? Yet often we do. With all of Satan’s tactics to keep us distracted and distant from God, we sometimes forget to call on His name for the strength we need. Think about it: how many times in the day do you just stop and say the name of Jesus, out loud? I know for this girl…not nearly enough.

Now please understand…I’m not talking about when you mention His name to your neighbor when talking about church or your life. (Yes, of course, even in that circumstance, His name still holds power.) I am talking about stopping to say His name, out loud…and letting the power of it penetrate your heart and reach down to the deepest part of your soul.

There is power in His name.

Like today, during Jesus’ earthly ministry, He used His name to bring forth great power. He used willing hearts to deliver His message of love and grace, and He equipped them to do the task. In the early verses of Luke 10, it details how Jesus designated a group of 72 believers to prepare a number of towns for His coming visit. As far as we know, these believers were not unique in their qualifications. They were not better educated, more capable, or of higher status than other followers of Christ. What prepared them for this mission was not proper training in "Christianese," but their willing heart and the fact that they had been equipped with Jesus’ power to reach the people. And that is what made them effective.

After giving them some specific instructions in verses 2-12 (He is a detail-oriented God, you know :)), He cuts to the chase and lets them know just what kind of challenges await them (vs. 13-16). He doesn’t pull any punches or sugarcoat things when sharing the reality that things may be slightly less than easy for them.

See, the cities the messengers were traveling to were wicked and evil and had often rejected God. Undoubtedly, there was some demonic activity taking place among the people. But God wasn’t worried about rejection…or wickedness…or demons. He didn’t need to send the believers out with weapons or protective gear or anything else to shield them physically. He knew that they would be aptly protected. After all, He was sending them out with the most powerful of all tools to combat the opposition they were sure to face: His mighty name.

And the rest of the story is…well…history.

Just listen to the “progress report” upon their return…

“When the seventy-two disciples returned, they joyfully reported to him, “Lord, even the demons obey us when we use your name!” (vs. 17)

Wow. Is that awesome, or what? I can just see them running up to Jesus with a giddy spring in their step and letting their awe for what just happened spill out of them! They were understandably freaked out that a name could give them such authority! Without a doubt, they had just cause to be happy. The once defiant demons now eagerly submitted to people they typically so strongly opposed! I can almost hear those demons saying, “Yes, maam, and “No, maam” to the believers as they listened to them share the message of Jesus Christ. (Ok, so I live in the south and we are big on manners! But you get the picture.)

But Jesus wasn’t surprised. He knew what power His name held. Otherwise, He would have sent them out with something else to protect them. But nothing else was needed.

He’s also not surprised when we use His name and find great power. That same tool Jesus gave these believers during his earthly ministry is the same tool He has given us. We can use it as often as we want. There is no cap on how many times we say it to give us strength and power. In fact, Jesus desperately wants us to use it and use it often to combat Satan and tap into the current of His Holy power. It’s a powerful tool, yet sometimes we are so busy looking for a 3-step system to finding power and strength that we miss the real source. I have certainly been guilty of this...

~Instead of claiming the name of Jesus, we read how-to books to solve our issues with our spouses, friends, family, co-workers and churches.

~Instead of claiming the name of Jesus, we white knuckle our way through situations and circumstances that are out of our control and beyond our understanding.

~Instead of claiming the name of Jesus, we look for something bigger, better or more tangible to be our everyday answer to getting through the day…or the holidays…in one piece.

Friends, may I remind you that there is nothing --bigger…better…or more tangible…than the name of Jesus.

Mom with a sick child, there is power in His name.

Friend dealing with a difficult relationship, there is power in His name.

Sister who is doubtful that her life will ever change, there is power in his name.

Whatever you are going through, whether it be big or small, there is power in his name, if you will claim it. I don’t know about you, but I could use that kind of power right now in my life. With everything I have going on, I need His strength to do all the many tasks before me each and everyday, especially around the holidays. Just this week, several of our dear friends have dealt with difficulties and hardships that are way beyond them or their capacity to do anything about. And we have, at different times, walked in those same shoes of fear and concern. Even without major crises going on sometimes we all feel overwhelmed, consumed, hopeless, stretched and strained. And that is when we need to pull out our power card and change things.

Whisper it, shout it, sing it…however you want, just call it out…

Jesus.

It’s all in the name.

Lisa

Some Serious Fun!

After my last week’s blog about our SS class, I feel it’s only appropriate for me to share with you some pictures of the “thriving” group of which I write! On Thursday night, we had our first ever Christmas party with many of our couples in attendance. (If you read the last posting, this is where the stiletto heels came in!) Between the beautiful decorations, delicious food, and great conversation, we had an awesome time laughing and hanging out together! (A special thanks to Judy Perry and Laura Davis -- love you girls!)

And…the night was capped of by a surprise appearance by Santa and his #1 elf! Here are some pics of our special guests from the North Pole, along with some of the couples who were there…

And...Santa and Me...
Before... and ...after

I love so many things about our fun and “THRIVING” class (see last week’s blog post for more). But one of the things I love the very most is how much we laugh together. As you can see in the Christmas Party pics, we laugh…act silly…and enjoy life together.

As a self-professed realist (I’m actually a pessimist, but realist sounds so much better!) it’s especially good for me to laugh and have fun. My husband has a much more fun and optimistic personality than I do, and he is the always-on naturally gregarious people person. But living with him for 12 years has helped me to come out of my "realistic" shell and embrace relationships with others in a new way! And laughter and fun is a great benefit of that.

By the way, did you know that Jesus endorsed laughter?

In Proverbs (17:22), He calls a cheerful spirit, “good medicine.” Since, as I write, my oldest son has a terrible case of the flu, the thought of “good medicine” as a cure to illness certainly strikes a very relevant chord with me! And the book of Job nods to God’s intent for joy in our life in chapter 8 verse 21, when he says, “He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy!” Sound good to you? Yeah, me too!

In the busy state of all of our lives, I think sometimes we have forgotten how to laugh and have fun…we stop thinking of ourselves as lively, exciting people who love to live life and instead, think we need to be serious and mature all the time. Sure, bills and mortgages will do that to you, but life can still be very much enjoyed while living it responsibly! Instead of looking back at our college days with nostalgia over all the fun we had (and we now miss), why don’t we begin to have some fun and enjoy our journey in this stage of our life, despite all the challenges and stressors?!

I’m in! How about you?

Now is a great time to add one more “resolution” to your list for 2008: LAUGH! But rather than looking to do it over the next year, resolve to do it without an end in mind. I’m trying to do more of it lately…and the more I do it, the more I like it!

I did a lot of it at the Christmas party this week. I have to say, the Elf tunic, sash and shoes were probably enough to keep me laughing all night! (Thanks, Mike.) :) I can’t wait to post the pics from our BIG event in May. (Which remains, as of now, still a secret.) Now THAT will be some seriously, serious fun! :)

Lisa

P.S. Ok…a few more photos of a different kind. Elf and Santa (aka, Mike and Scotty, respectively) just completed a half marathon on Saturday, along with their buddy, Ashley. See them at the finish line. Yep…I’m just a little proud! :) Lots of fun stuff this week. (Easy for me to say, right guys?)

Hanging out with Leslie!

I had the best time today, chatting with Leslie Nease, radio host of New Life 91.9...the fabulous Charlotte Christian radio station! We talked about life, relationships, Christmas, my book--The 7 Hardest Things-- and...stiletto heels! (You would've had to listen to understand why -- I'll blog about that on Monday) It was truly so much fun. Leslie is such a pro and a fun friend, on top of that.

Thanks, Leslie, for welcoming me to your show and for making our interview less like an interview and much more like a conversation over a hot cup of coffee! Hanging with you today reminded me of why I like you so much. :)

For those of you who heard me on the radio and are visiting my blog for the first time, thank you for coming! I hope you will visit often. You will find a new blog every Monday...that is, unless I have something I want to talk about before then...like today!

Lisa

P.S. Yes, Leslie Nease is my Survivor friend, by the way! :)

Nothing New

Since last year, my husband and I have had the privilege of teaching an adult Sunday School class (I prefer the term Small Group, but hey, ya know…we are Baptists!) at our church. Full of energetic, gifted and God-seeking individuals, our class has always been about real issues…real relationships…and our very REAL God. From the very start, God gave my husband the word THRIVE to describe our group, and “grow well and do well” we have! In addition to our physical growth of nearly 150 individuals, we have seen marked spiritual growth, as well. Our class is an action class…has true servant’s hearts…and loves to be challenged to go to new levels in their walk with God. My husband and I are truly inspired and honored to get to be a part of what God is doing in Room 327 at Hickory Grove North week after week!

This past Sunday, our class gave us a huge surprise. They blessed us both verbally and physically, sharing many kind words and a very generous monetary gift. We were humbled, touched, motivated, and SURPRISED by this one-year class celebration! Even though we knew the anniversary date was on Sunday, we truly did not think the class had anything up their sleeve! They kept the secret very well, and up until the moment one of the guys came up and whispered something in my husband’s ear as he began to teach, we had no clue as to what they were doing.

You have to understand -- this is saying a lot coming from the girl who shakes her Christmas presents ahead of time and knows what they are before I open them…usually has her radar up and going…and has a perfect record (up until last Sunday) of figuring out a surprise ahead of time. It’s hard to catch me off guard. But boy, this time, they did!

You would have think that I would have noticed something was up when I walked in and saw two of our women in leadership with aprons on, standing over hot griddles making blueberry pancakes. I could have clued in when another woman brought in hand-dipped chocolate covered strawberries and other yummy concoctions. My radar should have been going off when I felt the excitement buzzing around the room, watching smiling, happy people giving hugs and welcoming new faces. I should have known that something was coming…something was brewing…something was unique and different about the day. But I didn’t. I didn’t…because…it wasn’t.

Anything different or unique, that is.

There was nothing unique or special that stood out in my mind that morning when I walked into a room where everyone was in on the secret except for my husband and me. As far as I was concerned, it was just an ordinary Sunday with no real significance other than the obvious of being another great day to worship God together!

You see, the people who meet in Room 327 every week are servers. They are givers. They are doers. They are God-lovers. And to see them serving and giving and doing and loving was of no surprise to me when I saw them doing just that last Sunday. Their conduct didn’t give away the surprise of what was to come, because their conduct was consistent with what their conduct ALWAYS is. They did not do anything different on this day to tip my husband or myself off to what was going on. In our mind, they were just being themselves.

So as I was reflecting on the day this past week, in addition to being overwhelmed by the kindness and generosity of my dear friends, I was also convicted…and motivated, all at the same time by these thoughts:

…What if I were to live my life in such a way that people weren’t surprised when I was kind?

…What if I were to live my life in such a way that people weren’t at all shocked when I was generous?

…What if I were to live my life in such a way that people could easily believe that I was spirit-led, spirit-filled, and spirit-controlled? What if they weren’t thrown off when I was giving and loving and cared for them?

…What if I were to live my life in such a way that people weren’t surprised when I acted like Christ?

I don’t want to live my life like an employee that only cleans up her act when the boss is dropping by the office and she needs to impress him or her. I don’t want it to be out of character for me to help someone out in need, take time for someone who is hurting, or live a Christ-centered life. I don’t want anyone to see anything different in me if I am on the street, or at a ballgame, or in a chair in church. I want to be like my friends in our class who consistently exude such spiritual fruit that one Sunday morning is no different than any other…no matter what is on the agenda.

It reminds me of the verse written by Paul to the church in Corinth in II Corinthians 3:3 – “Clearly, you are a letter from Christ showing the result of our ministry among you. This “letter” is written not with pen and ink, but with the Spirit of the living God. It is carved not on tablets of stone, but on human hearts.”

Tonight I say “thank you” to our class…not only for the kindness they showed to us last Sunday, but also for the example of servant hood they constantly inspire both my husband and me with on a regular basis. Thanks for teaching us how to love Jesus more by everyday ACTION. Thanks for writing on our hearts and the hearts of those you come in contact with. May all of us strive to live our lives in such a way that we never “surprise” anyone.

Lisa

P.S. Please pray for me as I am going to be on our awesome local Christian radio station, New Life 91.9, this Friday, December 7th, from 9:00am-10:30! Leslie Nease (my friend from Survivor that I blogged about a while back) and I will be chatting about my books, life, and various other topics of interest. Pray that I will not put my very chatty foot in my mouth...will speak fluently and communicate the message well...and most of all, will write on people's hearts by God's spirit using me as His mouthpiece! It'll be a great time to test out what this blog is all about! :)

My Wilted Blessing

I write to you this morning, conflicted. I am conflicted because I know what I am supposed to write about. But I really don’t want to.

My issue is one of pride; really, for fear that my honesty will reveal my “ugly” flesh side to you. (We all have one, you know.) But as I encourage readers to do in my new book, (Behind Those Eyes: What’s Really Going on Inside the Souls of Women) I will hold myself to the same standard of truth. I will share with you about how my stubbornness and desire to control things one day led me to miss out on something very special. It’s what I call my "wilted blessing."

It was my 12th wedding anniversary this year. Each year my husband and I try to do a small get-away to celebrate our life together, and this year was no exception. Except for one. This year, my husband offered to completely plan the whole evening, from start to finish. Ever the administrator, I usually make most of our romantic arrangements. But in his newfound planning role, Scotty seemed genuinely excited to prepare and plan in order to make it a great evening for both of us. Admittedly, I was glad to not have to handle things with the Breath of Heaven conference right around the corner, but I was also nervous to completely let go of control of the night’s plans and surrender to whatever plans he made for us!

The night arrived, and after kissing our kids goodbye and giving last minute instructions to the babysitting grandparents, we were off. Dinner was first on the agenda, and my hubby took me to one of our favorite places for dinner, where we dined on a delicious steak and seafood meal. After finishing, we left the restaurant and drove around downtown for a bit, admiring the bright lights of the city we both love. Finally, my husband had one final surprise for me. He drove a few more blocks and pulled into the parking deck of a downtown hotel. The perfect evening was going to be capped off by staying in a beautiful hotel together! Since this is something we both really enjoy doing, I was excited by the thought!

But as we pulled deeper into the parking garage, my excitement began to be replaced by concern. I noticed the look of things changing a bit, between the cracked concrete and caution tape and shady looking characters milling around the parked cars. I voiced my thoughts to my husband. “I don’t know about this, honey. Really. Maybe we should go somewhere else. Don’t ya think?” But Scotty wasn’t deterred. “No, it’ll be fine. Don’t worry. It’ll be good.” He pulled into a parking place and started to get out of the car.

At this point, I had pretty well convinced myself that I wasn’t going to stay there, no matter how persuasive Scotty was. I had already confirmed to myself that it wasn’t where I wanted to spend my anniversary night. So I spoke up again, this time with a bit more passion and a lot more verbs in my sentences. “Honey, I want to go now. This is not my idea of a nice hotel. Let’s get out of here!” Completely annoyed, Scotty was not able to hide his frustration over my requests to bail. But 12 years of marriage to me gave him insights far beyond how I like to take my coffee and what side of the bed I like to sleep on…he knew that once his stubborn wife dug her heels in about something, it was unlikely he would be able to “dig” her out. So, without a word of protest, he slammed the door shut, whipped the car into reverse, and took off. Just like that, we had exited the parking garage and taken off down the road, again.

I noticed we were heading in the direction of home and decided to break the silence with a suggestion. “Why don’t we just stay somewhere else, Scotty? Why do we have to go home? Can’t you see why I didn’t want to stay at that fleabag hotel?” Finally, Scotty spoke. “Now how do you know that hotel is a fleabag hotel? I checked it out, and I happen to know that it has a great rating and is very nice. Why don’t you trust me to get us a good place?” The temperature was rising in the car, as I shot back, “I do trust you, but that place wasn’t nice! I could see that! I don’t know why you are so sensitive about it, anyway. What’s the big deal?”

Clearly, the conversation was over in my husband’s mind. He brooded the whole way home, and I did nothing to stop him or make it better. Since I was obviously making it worse, I decided to keep my mouth shut and close my eyes on the ride home. Even though the children were staying with their grandparents, my instincts told me that there would not be much of anything besides sleep going on in my house that night.

Arriving home, we went through our usual routines of readying ourselves for bed. In the silence, we slipped into the covers and both quickly drifted off to sleep. I don’t think we even said, “goodnight.”

We woke up the next morning in a lighter mood, though still without much conversation. I had just poured my coffee when my husband spoke up. “Lisa, let’s talk, “ he said. “Ok…” I mustered back. He continued. “Do you know why I was so upset with you last night?” “Well…yes…I guess so,” I confirmed. “I was difficult and wanted my way about the hotel. I didn’t like the one you picked and couldn’t hide that very well.” He replied, “Yes, that’s part of it. You were trying to control things, and I was trying to do something nice for you by taking the stress off you to plan our night together. But there was another reason why I was so upset with you about the night that I didn’t tell you about last night." He paused, then continued. “I had ordered a dozen roses, one for each year of our marriage, to be waiting for you with a card in our hotel room. And by not giving the hotel room a shot, you ruined my plans to surprise you with a much better gift than dinner or a drive around downtown that you didn’t know anything about. That is why I was so upset.”

Moved to tears at this revelation, I felt so ashamed over my actions. But still, I didn’t want to face the fact that my desire to control things that been the cause of my missed opportunity to receive such a wonderful gift. “Why didn’t you tell me that, honey?” I asked. “If you would have, I would have definitely wanted to go ahead and stay there! I would have gone in in that case!”

With pure honesty, Scotty answered back. “Because, Lisa, I just wanted you to trust me without knowing all that information. I wanted you to trust that I would have something special for you and had a specific reason in wanting you to stay at that particular hotel, even though you didn’t know what that reason was! I wanted you to, but you didn’t.”

“I am so sorry, honey,” I said. “And I am mad at myself that my desire to control things caused me to miss out on something really special…an extra special anniversary blessing from you.” We hugged and told each other we loved each other, and he promised me he wouldn’t tell everyone about our plans that had gone a bust. We knew we would be seeing some of our good friends later on that night for a cookout and they would likely ask us about our night out. I was so embarrassed by my actions that I really didn’t want to talk about it with anyone else for quite a while, if ever!

I still don’t want to talk about my actions, let alone admit them to even myself. I am still pained by the thought that I missed out on my beautiful roses, left to wilt in a hot hotel room with no one to claim them! (For all I know, they went home with a member of the housekeeping staff the next day! :)) I am still ashamed to acknowledge my stubbornness and pride, thinking I knew better and had a better plan than my husband did. I hate that my issues of control sometimes cause me to trust only myself, leaving little room to trust others…and most of all…God.

I wonder how many times God has a blessing for me that I miss out on because I try to control His will for my life. I wonder how many beautiful things He wants to give me that I unknowingly reject because of my pride and fear. I wonder why I ever think I know the best way or the most beneficial path and why I don’t trust Him to handle things for me. I wonder why things that look messy and unattractive to me at first glance cause me to shy away from them, even with the knowledge that God often uses the less glamorous things in life to bestow on us unexpected bountiful blessings.

In Malachi 3, God used His prophet in Jerusalem to remind the Jews (God’s chosen nation), of their willful disobedience towards God in several key areas. Incredulous over their lack of trust, in verse 10, God, through Malachi, tells the people what He will do if they will simply trust and obey Him. He says, “…I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test!” Though He is talking about the tithe in this passage, I believe that is the message He is sending us today in the area of obedience in any and every area of our lives.

Just trust me, He says. Trust me to know what I am doing with your life. Trust me to have your best interests in mind. Trust me to have something more beautiful than you are even expecting to be waiting for you on the other side. I want to bless you. But you have to be willing to relinquish control in order to get the gift I have for you. Put me to the test. It might be messy on the way to get there, but I will be with you every step of the way. I will guide you. I will direct you. I will love you. Just ask me to prove my sovereignty to you, and I will. Trust me, you will not be disappointed.

Is that where you are today? Are you trying to control your current situation? Do you think you know the best way to deal with your circumstances? Are you convinced you have the better plan figured out and need everyone, including God, to step aside so you can fulfill it? Believe me, as you just read in my very true story of what happened with my missed opportunity with my husband, you are not alone. I can relate to where you are or where you have been.

I wish I could tell you that my missed blessing with my husband was the only blessing I have missed out on because of my desire to control aspects of my life. But I’m confident that it wasn’t. But now, when I catch myself going down this road in a certain situation, those wilted roses are a reminder to me of my wilted blessing – the blessing that I might just be missing out on the next time I say “no” to something I need to say “yes” to. Especially when it comes to God.

“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

Lisa

What is Your Egypt?

Lately, I have been studying the Old Testament book of Exodus. Having read it before, this time it is coming alive to me in a new and different way. What an amazing book it is!

As I study, I am reminded anew about the strength of the Lord. Just reading about the plagues God sent to Pharaoh and the Egyptians and His subsequent deliverance of the Israelites out of captivity makes me shake in my boots with a healthy fear of Almighty God! And the same God of the Israelites is the strong God we, as believers in Jesus Christ, serve today. While our modern-day society mocks Him both in word and in deed, He remains on the Throne – powerful…and majestic…and mighty -- unmoved by any circumstances or societal trends. Awesome!

If you have never read it or haven’t read it in awhile, read this account in Exodus 14. (Though for background sake, it is best to go back to chapter 1 and read through the first 13 exciting and action-packed chapters!) When we enter the scene, we find the Israelites fearing for their life, even after God, through Moses, led them out of captivity in Egypt. Though finally out from under the rule of Pharaoh, the once-enslaved Israelites found themselves again being pursued by the wicked king and his officials. After finally letting them go, Pharaoh had again hardened his heart and decided to chase after them to re-capture them. (14:5-9)

Running scared, the people of Israel were understandably afraid. Verse 10 describes the scene… "As Pharaoh and his army approached, the people of Israel could see them in the distance, marching toward them. The people began to panic, and they cried out to the Lord for help.” Things were looking bad for the Israelites, and fear was beginning to set in. Big time.

Though weak in their faith, the people had a strong leader in Moses. Moses believed in the power of God to deliver them, having witnessed it firsthand on many occasions, and he encouraged them to test the Lord’s power for themselves. (verse 13) “But Moses told the people, ‘Don’t be afraid. Just stand where you are and watch the Lord rescue you. The Egyptians that you see today will never be seen again. The Lord himself will fight for you. You won’t have to lift a finger in your defense!’ ”

And in the next 16 verses, God did His thing. He brought the method, the means and the miracle to lead His people to ultimate freedom, courtesy of the Red Sea. Way cool.

~The Method…
"Then the angel of God, who had been leading the people of Israel, moved to a position behind them, and the pillar of cloud also moved around behind them. The cloud settled between the Israelite and Egyptian camps. As night came, the pillar of cloud turned into a pillar of fire, lighting the Israelite camp. But the cloud became darkness to the Egyptians, and they couldn’t find the Israelites.” (vs.19-20)

~The Means…
"The Moses raised his hand over the sea, and the Lord opened up a path through the water with a strong east wind. The wind blew all that night, turning the seabed into dry land. So the people of Israel walked through the sea on dry ground, with walls of water on each side!” (vs.21-22)

~The Miracle…
"When all the Israelites were on the other side, the Lord said to Moses, ‘Raise your hand over the sea again. Then the waters will rush back over the Egyptian chariots and charioteers.’ So as the sun began to rise, Moses raised his hand over the sea. The water roared back into its usual place, and the Lord swept the terrified Egyptians into the surging currents. The waters covered all the chariots and charioteers – the entire army of Pharaoh. Of all the Egyptians who had chased the Israelites into the sea, not a single one survived. The people of Israel had walked through the middle of the sea on dry land, as the water stood up like a wall on both sides. This was how the Lord rescued Israel from the Egyptians that day.” (vs. 26-30)

Man. If that isn’t powerful stuff, I don’t know what is.

But I know what you are thinking. Yes, that’s awesome, Lisa…but just what is the point of your blog today?

:) I’m so glad you asked.

Right before God’s deliverance by way of the parting of the Red Sea, things looked really bad for the Israelites. They were afraid, and they doubted God. They were concerned for the outcome and did not understand the process. Need proof? Consider these verses:
“Then they {Israelites} turned against Moses and complained, ‘Why did you bring us out here to die in the wilderness? Weren’t there enough graves for us in Egypt? Why did you make us leave? Didn’t we tell you to leave us alone while we were still in Egypt? Our Egyptian slavery was far better than dying out here in the wilderness!” (vs. 11-12)

Can’t you just hear the panic in their voices? The Israelites were so reluctant to trust God that they wanted to go back to what was familiar to them, even if that meant again becoming enslaved! Sounds almost unbelievable, right? Or does it sound awfully familiar?

Ouch.

Like the Israelites, things often look bleak for us before God delivers us from something. Right before we are rescued, we often feel pursued, hunted, persecuted, and even, forgotten. Just as the intensity maximizes for a birthing mother right before delivery happens, intensity often occurs for us right before our deliverance by God.

So, I ask you today…What is your Egypt?

What do you need deliverance from?

Do you think He knows about your concerns?

Do you think He cares?

Do you trust Him to do the job?

Remember…the method belongs to Him…He can choose to use whatever process He wants to deliver you from your Egypt. The means are His to dole out; in whatever way He decides to do it. And the miracle is His to bring forth. All He has to do is say the word.

I don’t know what your “Egypt” is today, but God does. Just as Moses instructed the people of Israel to do when crying out for deliverance, I implore you (and me!) today to stand there and watch the Lord rescue you. You don't have to lift a finger to try to help God out. He already has that covered.

I don’t know how He’ll do it. I don’t know when He’ll do it. But I know that He can do it. In fact, He can do much, much more.

Paul reminds us of this in Ephesians 3:20…. “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us…”

Stop running. Stop trying. Stop pushing. Start resting.

Your Egypt is not too hard for God.

Lisa

All in the Perspective

Anyone who knows me knows I love to read. Love, love, love, love, love it!!!!

I have about 5-8 books at all times that I want to dive into, but a lack of time keeps me from it. I get to them when I can, usually grabbing a few minutes during carline when I am waiting to pick up my kids. I am a fast reader, thankfully, but still…it takes me awhile to finish a book when I finally get to actually start it!

Oh well. :)

So…I’ve had a book that I wanted to read for quite some time, but I finally got around to reading it. It is one of the most poignant and powerful books I have read in a very long time, and I want to recommend it to you.

Actually, I want to recommend it and its follow-up book, equally powerful for me, and written by the same woman. The books are entitled, When I Lay My Isaac Down and A New Kind of Normal. They are by Carol Kent, and you can buy them online at Amazon or Christian Books or at any local Christian bookstore (and likely a Barnes and Noble or Borders in your area). If you have not read them, please go get them and read them. And if you know of someone who has gone or is going through a life-altering circumstance, please recommend these books to them. They are truly awesome books with a strong message of hope in the midst of deep pain.

Looking back, I wish I had these books when Scotty and I went through our deep valley a few years back with his job loss. These books would have really ministered to me in a time when I felt like no one really understood what we were going through. As anyone who goes through a major life interruption can testify, these situations forever alter your life and change your perspective. It’s similar to how your perspective changes when you become a new mom, but obviously for a much different (and much more joyful) reason.

I can remember the first time I noticed this change in my perspective after having my first child. We were visiting a friend’s home and went in the backyard to have some coffee and good conversation. My friend led me out on their deck, flanked by a beautifully tiled pool and hot tub. The grand landscaping and serene setting surrounded me, but all I could focus on was the watery death trap staring back at me, making me afraid. Though I have always loved pools and swimming, this time it was different. As a new mom, I saw something through a completely different lens. What I once saw as a fun and enjoyable pasttime, I now saw as an extreme hazard to my young son, should he fall into the water. I knew then that after entering this new stage in my life, my perspective about things would likely never again be the same.

Similarly, when Scotty lost his job in 2002, my perspective forever changed. After having gone through nearly 18 months with no job, no longer was I only mildly sympathetic to people who had major life interruptions like mine. No longer did I mutter under my breath, “Oh, bless their heart” when someone mentioned prayer in church for an acquaintance who lost their job and then fail to actually pray for them. No longer did I take for granted the things I once did, like buying a $3.25 Starbucks or going to the ATM machine to withdraw $20 for whatever I wanted to spend it on. I could no longer stand any interactions with people that I did not feel were real, completely rejecting those I perceived as fake! I promised God that on the other side of our circumstance, I would always remember what it felt like to live a less-than-perfect life so I could relate to so many others. And nearly 7 years later, I haven’t forgotten those feelings yet. And I truly hope and pray I never will, as it allows me a much richer appreciation for life and God’s blessings.

So, go out and get these books. And after you read them, pass them on to someone who God lays on your heart. They are not just for people who have faced deep valleys or great pain in life, though all of us have in some way, haven’t we? And as we near Thanksgiving Day, join me in praying for a newfound appreciation for what we DO have, rather than what we DON’T. After reading these two books by Carol Kent, your perspective on what really matters just may change.

Lisa

From Diets to Depth

I woke up this morning feeling utterly hopeless about ever losing weight.

Like so many other women, I have always struggled with an extra 10-20 pounds, depending on how much chocolate I ate while I was PMSing the month before. (or which baby I just had and how much weight I gained with that particular pregnancy!) Besides the time in college when my eating habits were grossly unhealthy, I have never been a part of the “skinny girl’s club.” I’ve always wanted to be, but never was granted admission and likely never will be.

So this morning when I was lamenting to myself about my lack of motivation to go on yet another diet (which I won’t stick to long-term, by the way), the scene felt all-too familiar. I have been there, done that, so many times before in the past that I have become sick of hearing my very own thoughts about it!

My mother-in-law and I met for lunch, which started out in the usual way. Since my feelings about my self were already toxic, I decided to indulge in some good old southern food to medicate myself, conceal my concerns, and numb my emotions on the subject. We ate and made small talk for nearly an hour until it was almost time to go pick up my boys from school. That is when the breakthrough happened.

You know how sometimes when you verbalize something to someone else you speak the truth to yourself about what you are dealing with in the process?

That’s exactly what happened to me.

We were talking about how God was working in each of our lives in different areas, calling us to a more intimate relationship with Him. For me, this means cleaning out 3 specific areas that I constantly struggle with, two of which (for now) will remain anonymous. But the third is in the area of my eating habits and my struggle with weight.

She shared her concerns in another area, and I maintained my usual role of self-appointed counselor with the answer I felt sure she needed to hear. All the while, I was not thinking about my own struggles, just how to help her through hers. Sincerely, I said, “I just believe that the more you fall in love with Jesus, your desire becomes to let go of anything that stands in the way of a right relationship with Him.”

Boom.

There it came. My own words were being used to speak to me. Or…could it have been…some heavenly wisdom spoken loudly enough for me to hear?

For me, it’s really not about another diet. It’s not about counting my calories or calculating carbs or fat grams. If it were about knowledge, I would be the President of the Skinny Girl’s Club. I know basically everything there is to know on this subject! But it is about what is standing in my way of a complete right relationship with my Lord. And in my case, that is my love for food.

Please don’t misunderstand me. I am not saying that food is wrong. Food is not wrong. Food is not the enemy. Eating healthy is VITALLY important and spiritually correct. (Eccles. 9:7: “So go ahead. Eat your food with joy…for God approves of this!” NLT) This issue for me has virtually nothing to do with food at all. It has everything to do with how I am careless (and yes, even sinful)to allow food and my weight to interfere with my relationship with God. And that is not ok.

I want to love Jesus and desire a right relationship with Him so much that any and everything that stands in the way of that should and will disgust me to the point that I deny it. By that, I don’t mean that I should deny food altogether. That would be wrong. But it means that I am spiritually and physically balanced so that my eating habits will, once and for all, change. I need to reserve my love, passion and obsession only for Him.

For me it’s my relationship with food, but it’s really the same with any addiction…to shopping, to watching TV, to emailing or blogging, to gossiping, to worry or fear, to pornography…whatever. Whatever it is that stands in the way of a right relationship with God has to be eliminated. For good. Forever.

So, I blog today with a renewed sense of hope about my struggle in the weight game. I DO NOT have any greater hope that I will go on a diet, stick to that diet, and lose weight the healthy and right way. I know myself, and I know I won’t do that for long.

But there IS something I can do. I am not helplessly bound in my struggle with weight, doomed to keep on those nagging extra pounds for the rest of my life.

What I know is that I have more room – much more room – in my life to love Jesus more passionately. It is something I pray will increase everyday that I am allowed to live on this earth. And that gives me great hope that I can and will fight against my temptations and obsessions and urgings with the help of the great lover of my soul.

So, here I go. In the words of the old hymn, in my spiritual quest for falling deeper in love with Christ I am praying that the “things of this earth will grow strangely dim…in the light of His glory and grace.” Translation: My love for food will decrease into just a healthly part of my life, not a central focus of it.

I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

(P.S. If you want to keep me accountable, ask me “How much are you loving Jesus these days?” I’ll know what you mean and appreciate your willingness to help “sharpen” me. :)

Lisa

Confessions, Concerns, and Convictions (about Parenting in 2008)

So many things about parenting freak me out, I don’t even know where to begin.

The tough lessons start early, I have found, and while they get logistically easier in many ways, they get mentally, psychologically, and spiritually tougher with each year of parenting. With my oldest child nearly 10, I know I have yet to experience many of my parenting challenges. But I am slowly beginning to get a small glimpse into some of what is to come. Such things make me, at times, want to run and hide from my responsibilities of being a parent.

The truth is, it really goes a bit deeper than that. Honestly, I have sleepless nights sometimes over this issue – nights of deep anxiety over parenting my children in this world in which we live in.

Do any of you parents share my concern?

I admit that there are times my concerns over this can be so gripping that I am overwhelmed by my thoughts. How can I be a good enough parent to combat all the sickness of our society? How can I teach my children everything they need to learn to cope with our current culture? Will my training and example be enough to compensate for the secular messages they are being bombarded with through the powerful media pulls?

With these questions, I can get caught up in a monsoon of fears for my children in about 2 seconds flat.

Can you relate?

Sometimes I wonder if it’s hopeless to even try. Based on my knowledge of the Word of God and my personal relationship with Him, I know that it’s not. But with all the junk of the world influencing our kids, just what are Christian parents to do?

While I know there is no magic formula that will alleviate all our concerns and guarantee our successes, I have been convinced, of late, that there are certainly some things that will help keep us from a sure spiral into secularism in rearing our children…

1) Live by your own personal high standard of integrity.
It has been proven that children oftentimes model what they are shown. It is vitally important that we model virtues such as modesty, integrity, and respect and set examples for our children. They are watching us and observing our life to find out what is real. No standard of Christ likeness is too high to show our children. Even small issues such as what we listen to on the radio in the car (song lyrics), what we wear, how we conduct ourselves with store clerks and others do not go unnoticed by our children. Don’t be fooled by Satan’s lie that these things don’t really affect or influence them.

2) Develop your absolutes.
Determining what are your absolute standards and non-negotiable truths is a huge factor in Christian parenting. While some behaviors and attitudes can and should be sometimes overlooked and downplayed, matters that hold future spiritual and physical ramifications should never be ignored or skipped over. Things like honesty, modesty, respect for authority, treating others with kindness and grace, and owning personal choices hold great importance both in the present and in the future. If they don’t develop those absolutes now, it will influence every choice they make and every relationship they have in the future.

3) Find your acceptable compromises.
This goes hand-in-hand with developing your absolutes. Though I am a strong advocate of consistent discipline, when a child is corrected about everything and told they can’t do anything, it puts the absolutes (that are truly important) and the less important issues on the same level. This can be dangerous and counter-productive. Finding those acceptable compromises are crucial to the process of teaching our children to discern for themselves (in the future) what is best for them…what is ok for them…and what things should be fiercely avoided.

4) Hold on to the Truth with dear life.
Deut. 13:4 says it best…“You are to follow only God, your God, hold him in deep reverence, keep his commandments, listen obediently to what he says, serve him—and hold on to him for dear life!” (The Msg.) As parents, our grip must be firmly holding onto our Lord, Jesus Christ, as we guide our children. He must serve as our compass, our standard, and our Truth. After all, their very life DOES depend on it!

Doing these things certainly do not guarantee that our children will be immune from the woos of secular society, with its many temptings and trappings. It doesn’t mean that they won’t disappoint us or break our hearts or that the difficulties won’t continue, and maybe even, increase. But with a maintained hope in our good God that He will help us maneuver these very difficult parenting waters and a firm belief in the Truth of His Word, we can lay our head on the pillow at night and trust in someone other than ourselves to parent our children in the right way.

Proverbs 3:24: “when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. “ (NIV)

May sweet sleep be upon us, as we seek to do this parent thing God's way...despite all of our daily concerns and dilemmas. Remember...all things are possible through Him. I'm hanging onto that! :)

Lisa

Sweet Freedom

“I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free.” Psalm 119:32 (NIV)

Since moving to North Carolina nearly 13 years ago, this midwestern girl has found a new love. Besides my wonderful hubby, this part of the country has introduced me one of its most fabulous features…the sandy beaches of both North and South Carolina. I admit that I have fallen for the smells of salty seawater, soft sand and cool breezes at night. I am in love with the mighty crash of the ocean waves, sometimes gently beckoning all in its sight to come and play…sometimes charging with the ferocity of a bull to a red cape, daring anyone to come a step closer. Either way, the beach has made its mark on me.

One of the things I love the most about the beach is the sense of freedom I feel when I approach the water. Sweet freedom. Take my shoes off and run freedom. Almost sheer abandoned freedom. And for a non-spontaneous soul as myself, that is no small thing.

I think other people must share my feelings, as I have observed quite a few beach goers running toward the waves the minute they step foot on the sand beneath them. It’s almost as if, in that moment, they want the ocean to swallow them up in an act of ultimate freedom. Freedom from work concerns. Freedom from health crises. Freedom from relationship woes. Ahhh…to experience such sweet freedom, if only for a moment.

There is a song I love that we sing often in church that echoes this sentiment. It’s entitled, I Am Free, and its lyrics are simple and yet, powerful and hold great significance for the beach lover in me.

I am free to run…
I am free to dance…
I am free to live for you…
I am free…
Yes I am free…

While the beach certainly provides such freedom to run (and maybe even, in my most playful moods…to dance) for a moment when I run toward its waves, the freedom I have found in my relationship with Christ provides ultimate and lasting freedom – the kind that won’t come and go with occasional visits or vacational moments. It’s true that I love the beach, but it has nothing on how much I love the giver of life’s truest freedom, the spiritual kind of freedom that cannot be matched by anything earthly.

What about you? Are you free? Don’t answer right away. Think about it for a minute before you do.

You might be physically free to run…and to dance, like the song says, but what about your heart? Is it free? Or is it bound by hurts and burdens that make you feel chained and locked up and anything but free?

Though you may feel trapped in a prison of hopelessness, doubt or fear, you don’t have to stay in such confinement. Whether or not you live within 1000 miles of a beach is irrelevant. Wherever you are coming from, you can run towards the freedom that is now and has always been standing right in front of you. The freedom that comes from a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Seek His face today. That sound you hear is Him calling you to sweet freedom, greater than the kind that running your toes in the sand can provide. And there truly is no better feeling than that.

Lisa

“So if the Son sets you free, you are free through and through.” John 8:36 (The Message)