Still God.

I dropped my kids off today, for what will be a new year of school. They have different haircuts than they did last year. They are older, taller, and have bigger feet. A lot has changed in their world since their last day of school last year. Time has forged on.

And God has still been God.

Much has happened in my own life since summer began. I went to El Salvador and watched my heart break in a new way over children I never knew. Wrote a book. Started running. Closed a ministry that had the heart of myself and my husband for a solid year.

And God has still been God.

There have been bumps in the road, relationship difficulties, misunderstandings and hurdles. Finances have been tight and life has been challenging.

And God has still been God.

There are many things I find myself wanting to write about this morning…and nearly as many that need to remain tucked in the corners of my heart. There are things I want to speak out about and issues I long to give voice to -- I want to defend myself against people who don't really know me but think they do and challenge people to get over themselves in order to do God's work. But God is preventing those things from being written. Instead, He’s asking me to do what I’ve always done through this venue and simply remind people of who He is while letting Him manage all the periphery.

And now, as I sit in a quiet house listening to the sound of Kristian Stanfill’s song, “You Will Always Be,” tears take form. Grateful tears. Weary tears. Joyous tears. To hear the words, “kingdoms rise and kingdoms fall, but You go on and on…,” I am moved by its truth. I resonate with its message – one of Jesus being faithful, real, and always the same.

In my ever-changing world, I could not need to know this more.

Today, as in every day, I cling to the character of a God who is who He says He is, knows my heart like no one else, and regardless of age, time, circumstance or space, is still and always will be God.

...whose consistency is unmatched. Whose sovereignty can be trusted.

Still God. Glorious God.

Fine Lines

Life is full of fine line moments.

Knowing when to speak up for something…and when to stay silent. When to hold onto something…and when to let it go. When to pursue something…and when to sit back in faith.

Choices like this are incredibly tough, especially when our feelings are involved and a circumstance could warrant either one. It takes a great deal of discipline and discernment to know which is right for the moment.

It takes a lot of prayer. Focused, dedicated prayer.

The truth is, we can’t make these calls without God. All of us have seen what happens when we rest on what we know to do and trust that we feel is best.

“I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths.” {Proverbs 4:11}

Without the wisdom of God, the roads we travel down are likely to be crooked, rocky, or impassable. We will mess up relationships, elicit heartache, or even...self-destruct.

With such high stakes, there is really no other call to make but to call on God, asking Him to give wisdom in decisions that look like they could go either way.

Because He is God, and we are not...

...with great ability to give peace in the difficult and confusing fine line moments in our life.

The Gift of Perspective

I’m convinced that sometimes we all just need a little change in perspective.

It helps us see things more clearly.

Complain less. Care more. Become open.

My recent trip to El Salvador with Compassion International did that for me. I wrote about it HERE.

Even now, I find myself thinking about the experience when I least expect it. Today, I found a brand new pair of kids shoes in my garage that my son never wore but outgrew -- crisp, white, and trendy. I wonder if the little boy I saw playing kickball in the muddy sewer water ever had a pair of shoes like that. I already know the answer, and I feel wasteful.

I want a new lamp for my living room. I reflect back on the mud-floored shelters filled with the pungent smell of earth but void of electricity, and the new lamp seems ridiculous.

It rains, and I refuse to leave my garage until I locate my favorite umbrella to cover me. Unwarranted pictures flash in my brain of a metaled makeshift roof meant to cover a family of 5, yet inadequate to prevent waterfalls to flow through it's gaps, unrestricted. I visualize the full-sized mattress 3 teenagers call their bed, directly underneath the falls and in constant jeopardy of becoming soaked during rainy season. Suddenly, I’m thankful for my cluttered garage, that I have enough money to buy an umbrella at all, and a roof that’s not leaky.

Scripture verses also hold new meaning for me since my trip. Just this week I read these 11 words in Psalm 86:4… “Give me happiness, O Lord, for my life depends on you.” Immediately, my mind drifts to a young girl of 16 named Veronica. I doubt I’ve seen such a big smile in all my life. I’m taken aback by her joy, especially after I learn of her story.

She shouldn’t be happy. Her home is not beautiful. Her world is not bright. Her mother is not present. Her grandfather is not nice. Her dress is not stylish. Her feet are not clean. She has a cot for a bed, a hole for a toilet, and skinny dogs begging her for food she does not have to give.

Yet she smiles.

And I feel spoiled.

I think about how her life depends on God. Every breath of it. I wonder how she has survived for this long, in her circumstances. Yet in my heart, I know.

He gives her life.

I cry at the thought – the sheer availability of Someone so powerful. The thoughtfulness. The care.

And I remember…not only the people that I met and left behind in El Salvador, but those I meet and others I won’t who share my same Savior.

And I feel thankful. For hope. For love. For joy. For life.

For perspective.

Life Lived Less Comfortable

I have a hard time trusting believers who claim to be completely comfortable with the way they live out their faith.

Do I think one can get to a point where they are in a better spiritual place than they have ever been? Yes. In many ways, that is how I would describe my current spiritual status.

But at a certain point, comfort stifles growth. Sadly, it is the existence of many believers to enjoy long, extended periods of spiritual immobility.

I’ve watched people become prideful, bitter, self-focused and/or flat out bored because somewhere along the way they have decided that serving God needs to be on their terms, which narrows their options in the Kingdom exponentially.

I’ve been there, too.

But the more I get to know God, the more I recognize the ways in which I fail to be like Him. It is exactly as Romans 3:20b says, “For the more we know God’s law, the clearer it becomes that we aren’t obeying it.” Personalizing this truth doesn’t depress me (though it does convict me)…instead it keeps me in a place of willingness to dive deeper, go farther with God than I ever thought I could -- be better tomorrow than I was today by praying harder than ever to emulate His character.

I am no more capable of this than anyone else. In fact, I’m a woman of more reservations, failures and inadequacies than you may know.

But I want to improve. I want to be more like Christ. If desire counts for anything, I’m at least on the field, ready to play.

Yet I know that where I am is not where I need to be. It’s better than where I’ve been. But that’s not enough to hang the rest of my life on.

I acknowledge that comfortable is the popular way to live. It colors how we shop for clothes, furniture and churches. It is the way we rate our friendships.

But God doesn’t call us to stop with what we did yesterday or how many years we’ve done service in His Kingdom. As the Creator of our talents, He needs not be convinced of things we could be capable to do. No one desires more than He does to see believers willing to rise to their potential. The truth is...

Knowing God breeds desire to be more like Him.

Loving God breeds desire to live life better.

And far less comfortable.

His

My girlfriend called me this morning with a huge burden on her heart. Though different from the specifics weighing on mine, I related to her struggle to cope with things out of her control.

People.

Circumstances.

Major life decisions without clear direction.

The reality is that there are just some things we cannot do anything about at the end of the day but say, “It’s yours, Lord.” It’s exactly what my girlfriend said after trying to first deal with it on her own.

For me, it’s an “It’s yours, Lord” kind of day.

What about you? Are there things you are dealing with that you need to let Him have?

Stop trying to cope. Stop hoping to figure it out. Give it over.

It’s His.

big.

I start this blog off with this confession: sometimes in the moments of my daily living, the knowledge of who God is doesn’t consume my thoughts.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but it must be acknowledged.

Other days, I can barely do anything but cry out the lump in my throat over the remembrance that a big God gives me His (very divided) undivided attention.

Yesterday I had one of those days.

My family watched THIS VIDEO together over the weekend. If you’ve never watched it, you simply must. Go to your local bookstore and find it, order it online – do whatever you have to do to watch it. But be warned: its contents may cause a throat lump to form, worthy of a big old ugly cry.

It’s a beautiful message of a very big God who loves a very small every last one of us.

Many times in my daily life I feel small…less significant than another…a whole lot of trouble for a busy God to have to spend His time, keeping in line.

Maybe that’s why my soul longs for a place where my status is cherished. Valued. Given priority. Tagged as highly important.

My heart rejects it when the world tells me I’m just a number. I refuse to believe the space I occupy is a rented one – able to be reissued or recycled to the next person who comes along after me. Yet sometimes, this thought creeps in.

And even though Psalm 139 is permanently etched in my mind, it takes more than a memorized chapter of words to turn me inside out and expose my innermost longings of needing to be close to Something bigger than myself.

Which is why I often need the reminder of the big God I love. I need to feel small without feeling insignificant. Valued without feeling entitled.

And on those days when I feel like just a number, I will look for those reminders that He is as big as I know Him to be. And I will remember why that knowledge is worth having a big old ugly cry over.

He’s a big God. And He loves you…and me.

May that never stop being a big deal.

Selling Books, Not My Soul

People who know me well know I grapple with this whole promotional Christian artist/writer/speaker world I find myself enveloped in. It seems I spend a lot of brain space wondering how to be and do what God has {dually} put breath in me to do and burned inside my heart…without getting caught up in the whole “author getting famous” deal that people claim has to go with it.

Trust me when I say: I hate anything that seems contrived, and often, that includes my view of ministry.

I was thinking about this today upon receiving an email from an old and dear friend. Her words touched my heart. They also jolted me back to a bit of spiritual reality, and caused me to remember something I find key in this whole ministry thing…

We can’t forget about people.

I know that some of you will be annoyed that I simplify it this way. It’s a repugnant thing to suggest to our fragile egos that we might (gasp!) possibly forget about anyone. But the very real risk in the rat race of self-promotion is that somewhere along the way, it could be the one thing that causes us to lose touch with our core mission. Not only can it happen, but often, it does.

Trust me, I get what has to be done to sell books. I’m just rebel enough to not want to sell my soul doing it.

Not everyone is contrived in this process. I’ve seen more than one ministry leader who has a healthy view of who they are and what they are called to spend their life doing. As a result, their authenticity is felt. The truth is, God doesn’t give a flying flip how many Twitter followers we have. (Even though I’m not too proud to admit that I’d like to have a few more, if I’m being completely honest.) What He wants to know is: have you helped me change someone’s life today by representing me well?

The results of the pursuit of spiritual authenticity are far richer than the pursuit of personal acknowledgment. May that thought be our compass and guide in the mad days of social media gone wild. If necessary, may we go back to the place we started, when our one core desire was simply to show the world Jesus. May we never forget about people, who are infinitely more than just a number to God.

May we help change someone’s life today by representing Him well.

Lips May Lie

I’ve been reading Psalm 78 this morning.

It’s talking about the children of Israel and how they treated God – the One who saved them from enslavement and their self-produced problems, stemming from their stubbornness and lack of remembrance for all He’d done to rescue them.

How familiar this is to me.

Verse 36 is where it really hurts, when it says:

“…they followed him only with their words…”

Often, I speak to women about how it is very possible to say things with our lips that we don’t really mean in our heart. We do this because many of us have been so programmed to speak Christian lingo that we forget when we’re talking to God that He sees right through it. He’s far more interested in the condition of our heart than hearing cheap talk that doesn’t last any longer than the moment it leaves our lips.

Yet still, we continue to try to say the right things to prove we are one of His. Others may believe it. But He knows the heart from where it comes.

Maybe our prayer today (and everyday) should be: “God, help me not say anything today I don’t mean. Close my mouth if what comes out will not be true and honest, especially when it comes to You.”

And if we wind up saying nothing at all, at least we will know that our words didn’t guide us into insincerity. I dare say a few fewer words won’t hurt any of us…especially when the ones that do come out will be ones that we really mean.

The awesome God of truth we say we follow deserves nothing less.

the Bubble

This story (click for link) is a hot one right now, in the Christian community. If you haven’t been living under a rock you may have heard about it.

I’ve been asked to weigh in on this subject, and I do so with a deep understanding that not everyone will love my response. Good thing I have busted out of my own churchy bubble just in time not to care.

Which brings me to what I believe the issue is at hand: the bubble many believers live in.

It’s what causes us not to see how we are coming across to others…and maybe not even worry about it. Of course, we would say that we do, because churchy people don’t admit to things like that. But actions always tell the true story.

I’m not here to debate what specific beefs Anne Rice has with the church. What I am here to do is to weigh in on my thoughts about her “ditching Christianity” as a whole.

Ironically, this is something I tackle in my new book with George Barna, out next year. In it, I ask women to do something many of them have ever considered: to separate their religion and tradition from Jesus, Himself. My theory (which has been proven true, many times over) is that if you don’t, when the church lets you down (and they will), you will begin to ask questions about God that you don’t need to. If He has been equated with all of your rituals and practices and you associate Him with the pastor who preaches love but practices something else, you will eventually want to ditch the whole gamut. In other words, God loses out because people don’t represent Him well. It happens all the time. Got scores of emails of personal stories in my inbox right now to prove it.

In addition to these testimonials, I’m a recovering church-aholic, myself…so I get it. I’ve seen it. Been on both sides. Lived in the bubble and watched it burst around me. Survived it and love Jesus more than I ever have. But that doesn’t mean I love the way believers hurt each other.

I don’t love the way we get angry when someone tells us the truth about who we often are. Or the way we respond to people when they don’t think like us. Or the way we tag people unfairly when they step a little too close to things we cling to like spiritual security blankets.

I find Jesus in none of that.

I’m no Anne Rice: a woman who probably lived many years without the tradition I was born into. I’m a former churchy girl who grew up in a very churchy world and in many ways, haven’t left. But do I want to be associated with those who speak His name but don’t bear His fruit? Absolutely no way.

I want to associate with the Jesus who loved, gave away, inspired, influenced, healed, and drew people in by His character. I want to associate with the Jesus who was who He said He was, all the time – not just from the stage or on camera. I can’t be Him. But I want to be like Him. It’s quite a lofty goal, but I’m working on it.

And for those of my churchy friends who will want me to address His righteousness and holiness and the mandate to live by Scripture, on that we can agree. I wouldn’t forget about those things and feel compelled to want to achieve them, as well.

I’m just glad that I can do that outside of my churchy bubble.

Really glad.

Confession of a Happy Misfit

If I told you that I don’t usually do what people tell me to do, that wouldn’t be a shocking confession. Most of you who follow my writing know that already.

But other things may come as a surprise to you. Like the fact that I am not as confident as you may think. And I rarely feel like I fit in, most anywhere.

I can play well with others (I’m a former pastor’s daughter, remember?), but I really don’t thrive inside circles you might expect. I don’t like to conform. I like to surprise people who assume I’m one way and find out I’m another. I always root for the underdog because usually, it’s me. If you tell me I can’t do something, I will die trying to prove you wrong.

I won’t tell you that there haven’t been moments that I saw this personality thing of mine as a huge hindrance. Believe me when I admit that I spent multiple years of my life wishing I could just be like everyone else: keep my mouth shut and play along. But somewhere along the way I figured out that my best option was to continue to be myself, even if that meant that I would often find myself in places I didn’t quite fit.

The thing is, it’s often better not to.

Fitting in many times means to say yes to things you really should reject. It can mean that you may walk away from group settings or packaged conversations with people whose main purpose is to just fit in, feeling compromised in some way. It's those times that you find yourself laughing about things you don't think are very funny...talking about things you don't really care about...hoping no one will notice that you are about to jump out of your very own skin.

The truth is: people that fit in may become more popular, but they never become more effective.

The happy misfits are the ones that have a shot at really making a difference, no matter what the popular crowd may say.

Join the team. If Jesus went against popular thought, so can you.

She's alive!

Don’t fall over. Yes, I’m {finally} updating my blog. I didn’t exactly intend to take a blogging break for the past several months, but apparently, that is what I’ve done.

I can assure you, it’s not because I have taken a break from life. That, my friends, has continued functioning at a rapid pace, and I have been running after it, trying to keep up.

It’s no secret to those of you who know me {as more than just a face on a page} that this past year has been among the greatest and most difficult of my life. It has brought with it many hard moments and many rich insights. People I have loved have come and gone out of my life. Unexpected new relationships have emerged. Lasting friendships have…lasted.

Many of you already know this, but for the few who don’t: my husband and I started a church and closed it, all in one year. We pulled together when the stress of our undertaking could have pulled us apart. All the things we feared happening to us in the process came true, except for one: we never lost our family. I cannot tell you how much joy it brings me to be able to type that last sentence and to be able to honestly say we are "better than ever."

If I were wanting to sound super spiritual, I would assert here that through the challenging past year, my relationship with God never changed. It is true that He never changed, though I can’t say the same for our relationship. It changed in many ways…ways it needed to for many years. When one has been a believer for as long as I have, sometimes a great change needs to occur, even when we don’t run after it. For me, it was far and away the greatest benefit to come out of the difficult year I experienced. Therefore, I can’t regret one minute of my bumpy 12-month journey.

There is so much in my head that I can’t get all of it out in this blog or it will be longer than you care to read. Many of the insights that came out of this year I have included in my new book, while many I have kept out for now, as things experienced are not always healthy to immediately share. But to say I am grateful to get to share my heart in book form, once again, is an understatement. Especially the message I get to share, as I know it is the message I was put on this earth to speak.

So you can see what has been keeping me busy over the past several months, as every bit of passionate thought as been directed toward this new Tyndale project, due for release in May of 2011.

In addition, the amazing ministry of She Seeks {a Proverbs 31 ministry for 20-somethings} that I am privileged to coordinate has really taken off. Ironically, it started nearly a year ago, as well, and our team is seeing the fruit of our labor as people are not only spreading the word about us, but they are recognizing our desire to be authentic and honest about the real life struggles we all face…and the answer we have found that supersedes them all, Jesus Christ. I couldn’t be more excited about what God is doing through us in this ministry, and I find no greater endorsement than to have said that we are making a dent in what some people think about Christians. I’m afraid we’ve been in need of some better PR for a long time, due to our own actions.

And now, I emerge from my non-intended blogging break to blog, once again. I pray I have something to say after leaving 50,000 words on the page of my new project. By the looks of this blog and its length, that shouldn’t be a problem. ☺

Be looking for my new website and blog to roll out in the next few weeks. It’s another one of those things that has been pushed aside for the greater good, but I’m past being ok with how lame it looks. My genius graphics guy has been working on it, and I’ll unveil it soon.

I’ve missed you, my friends. Thank you for letting me speak into your life every week through writing. I had no idea how much I missed it until this very moment.

My friend, Kris.

I wrote about my friend, Kris, for the first time over two years ago. You can read more about him HERE. With the family representative's permission, I share my thoughts about Kris upon his passing.

My friend, Kris, is being remembered today, as his 2-year struggle with cancer came to an end on Wednesday. It was a well-fought, difficult journey, and he finished the race with his family by his side. With the news being so fresh on my mind, I find it one of my toughest writing assignments yet to put something meaningful down on paper…yet I feel compelled to share my heart.

Kris’s battle with cancer touched me in a way I didn’t expect. For one thing, when the diagnosis first happened, I didn’t know him all that well. He had been my husband’s friend for years, and that was our strongest connection. But we had never had dinner together or vacationed as couples or even, had more than a few brief meetings with firm handshakes and smiles. But when I heard about his diagnosis, it had immediate impact. Thankfully, we were able to spend a small bit of time together in the months to follow, which my husband and I both hold dear.

Since that time I have asked myself why his story has had such an effect on me. I have literally stayed up some nights, praying for Kris and thinking of his family ahead of my own. Through this experience, I have learned how to pray for something consistently, and how the ties of prayer bind hearts and lives together in a unique way. Certainly, this has been a huge factor in my heart’s investment in Kris and his journey.

But in evaluating why Kris’s journey has had such great impact on me over the past 24 months, I think I have come to some type of conclusion besides the obvious one. I believe it is because I have seen how one day he was a strong, vibrant working family man with a bigger-than-life personality… and the next day he was forced into the role of patient -- thrust into a world of doctors, treatments, and numbered days he never expected. His journey has reminded me of not only the brevity of life, but also the cruel realities sometimes life carries. Kris never stopped being strong, even though his body did. In my world, that strength should have allowed Kris to live, as it is certainly how he will be remembered. But that is not something anyone but God can control.

Several weeks ago I was sitting in a Dallas hotel room, preparing for a women’s event that night. I sat on the bed and tried to look over my notes, yet my mind was inexplicably consumed with thoughts of Kris and his family. I tried to push them aside for the moment, but they wouldn’t budge. I felt compelled to not only pray for Kris, but to write down some thoughts that were on my heart and mind. As I thought about the injustice of how his physical body was failing him, Jesus reminded me of the very temporary state all of us on this earth really live in.

Before I share these thoughts, I need you to know that I never stopped praying for Kris to be healed, even right to the final moments. For if sheer will were to determine the outcome, his death never would have been so. I hoped the words I penned in that Dallas hotel room would never have relevance to be shared. But I share them now, praying that they will touch someone’s heart and honor Kris’s life in some small way. His family will undoubtedly share the personal reflections they were privileged to enjoy with Kris; I can only share the things his journey helped me remember.


It was a temporary body he lived in. One day it was strong. The next day, it wasn’t.

One day it saw beauty and love. Smiles and tears. Laughter and rain. The next day, it didn’t.

One day it saw grass and trees, mountains and the sandy beach. The next day, it didn’t.

One day it saw joy and it saw pain. It saw life and it saw death. The next day, it didn’t.

That day, it saw something different.

Streets of gold. Crystal sea. A chorus of angels. Nail-scarred hands, eagerly outstretched and waiting.

Complete peace. Fulfilled purpose. Sacred love. Death to life. Earth to heaven.

And in his new body, he rested. Welcomed by the arms of a Savior. Never again to struggle. Free, full, whole and forever.

Eternally, home.

I pray these words serve as a reminder to all of us that we are not here forever, but only for a brief moment in time. I do not presume to know what is in the hearts of Kris’s family right now, but I can only suppose that the message of making the most of every moment you are given is something they would support. May all of us live with the understanding that our temporary selves are meant to represent something much richer, much better, and much more…eternal.

Thank you, Kris, for this reminder. Rest well, my friend, in your new eternal home.

love, give and be challenged: {my week in el salvador}

You may know that I just returned from an amazing week in El Salvador with Compassion, International. As I struggle to organize my thoughts into a blog, my mind wanders to a verse I came across this morning in Psalm 48:10, “As your name deserves, O God, you will be praised to the ends of the earth.” I watched that verse come alive last week, right before my very eyes. Really, I could end this blog right there, and part of me wants to.

Forgive me. I want to tell you so much more, but I find my head and heart in a jumble.

I could tell you about the first time I saw the children of the Compassion project and how from that moment on, I rarely stopped weeping. I could tell you what it felt like to see a young lady in her Sunday best, standing in the hot sun with a sign bearing my name, welcoming me in a way I didn’t deserve. I could tell you what it sounded like to hear American praise songs sung in words I didn’t recognize. Or what it meant to feel the sweet hand of a child on my head, petitioning my same Savior on my behalf.

I could tell you about the hospitality of people who have mud permanently tattooed into the cracks of their feet, seeing more pain in one day than my mind is able to adequately compute. I could tell you about the giving spirit of a little boy who may only eat a snack-sized meal a day, yet gleefully gifted me with a bag of his favorite tortilla chips.

I could tell you about the humility of people who don’t carry around feelings of entitlement. I could tell you about believers who don’t use filters, politically correct phrases or Christian lingo to convey how they feel. I guess they’ve found that those things aren’t needed to communicate gratitude, love or Jesus. Who knew?

I could tell you about a ministry organization that exudes the Great Commission. I could tell you about some of the finest people I have ever met in my life, starting with the staff and stretching to the ones they most effect. I could tell you about the local pastors who aren’t celebrities, don’t sell thousands of books, and couldn’t care less. I could tell you about the local translators who felt like long-lost siblings within the first 24 hours of our meeting – people I loved so much I wanted to throw in my suitcase and bring home with me to insert into my daily life. If I were allowed to be as selfish as I wanted to be, I would have.

I could tell you about a young man named Nixon, a product of the Compassion project, who preached one of the best sermons I ever heard. Or a drama put on by a group of unashamed teenagers about the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, without the flash of American church passion plays but I dare say with greater effectiveness.

I could tell you about the beautiful girl in the white shirt/black skirt uniform who prayed in a way that stirred my bones to a place of sweet revival. When I told her how her prayer moved me she answered simply, “Thank you. Jesus put it in my heart.” Well, now. Is that how that thing works?

I could tell you this and more, but the stories are too many and too much. I’m quite certain I wouldn’t do them justice until I can unpack them a little more in my own mind. But of this you can be sure: what I saw last week was real. Real faces. Real lives. Real needs. The children I saw are not just images on cardboard cards. They exist. I know, because I met them.

So as I continue to process my week, thank you for your patience. But today, there is something I long for you to know.

This week was a week of personal challenges for me – to test what I thought with a potential to experience something more authentic. To some, this test might seem small. To others, it may seem enormous. I don’t care about the judgments on either side – all I know is that I went toe to toe with my fears and ignorance, and I didn’t back down. I met a personal challenge, and I won.

Which leads me to my exhortation.

Don’t be afraid of your challenge in life, whatever it is. Look it in the face and defy it. Embrace it. Own it. Live it, and let it move you to a new place of personal and spiritual discovery. Love it or hate it, you can either challenge it or it will challenge you. Challenge it, and you will win…no matter what the outcome. Because in the process, you will see with eyes of purpose and feel with new waves of passion.

You can wait, sit and wish. You can wonder what it feels like to regain a spiritual pulse. You can watch while someone else comes to a place of understanding that could be yours, if only you were willing to stop being afraid of what you don’t know.

I can’t tell you what to do, and I know you don’t want me to. All I can say is that it is my strongest belief that you find yourself in the midst of your greatest challenge.

The people of the Compassion project in El Salvador taught me that this week. If I already knew it, they made it more real. Though sheer existence is their greatest challenge, in some ways, that may just be their greatest gift. Certainly, their souls are richer than most.

Because of this I wholeheartedly say: may we follow their example and live to love, give, and be challenged.

To find out more about sponsoring a child or the Compassion project, click on THIS LINK.

Letting Go of Goodbye

So, I wrote about goodbyes this week over at SHE SEEKS. Some of you may have come from there. Others may want to pop over after finishing this blog.

It’s not a topic I love, but it is a topic that is important. I mean, we can pretend that life is not full of goodbyes, but at some point we understand that it is…and we learn to deal with it.

I don’t love goodbyes (most of the time), but I have come to accept them as a part of my life, for the rest of my life.

I won’t rehash what I’ve already written about goodbyes HERE, but what I will say is that it seems that when we don’t practice acceptance of this life reality, a kind of clinging-thing goes on in our heart. Left alone, that clinging-thing can turn into a real spirit of defensiveness where we shy away from investing in people and things we feel we may someday lose.

We feel that the risk may be too high to fully give our heart to something we don’t know the outcome of…so we hold back just enough to preserve it.

But in the process, we don’t get the full experience of life, which includes love, loss, and often…letting go.

I encourage you today to resist the urge toward heart preservation if it means you don’t take a risk to love big, dream big or fully invest. If the time comes for you to say goodbye to that love, dream or investment, you can do so knowing it wasn’t because you didn’t give it all you could.

And you can do so knowing that clinging to anything but Jesus never really works, anyway. It is exactly the way this life thing is supposed to be.

Relentlessly Challenged

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past year of my life, it’s that I don’t want to live my life without a challenge.

Even as I write those words, I struggle to acknowledge them, simply because I am not ignorant to what that may mean.

Disappointment.

Hard work and effort.

Being stretched beyond comfort.

Going places that feel scary and unfamiliar.

But while those things sound definitively unappealing, I also recognize them to be both necessary and inevitable on the spiritual journey. In other words, they come with the territory.

I can wish for a day off from these things, but the truth is, I’ve had lots of days…months…years off in my life as a believer. I’ve done my time on the sidelines.

And I know from experience how it feels to spend chunks of time without doing much of anything for God and experiencing the feelings to match. Looking back, it’s in those moments I’ve felt most desperate to hear from Him.

My experience with this has been sometimes confusing, and I myself could not explain why I felt most desperate when the waters were eerily calm and steady. I readily admit that there have been moments in my life where I’ve asked God to give me a few months, a couple of weeks, or even 10 minutes without providing me with a challenge. After coming out of ones that almost swallowed me whole, I have to be honest and say that I wasn’t altogether jazzed about jumping right back into a pool of difficulty.

But the truth is, I have never really wanted Him to take me up on that. Because the few times He has, I lived with the feeling that I was missing something. And it is not a feeling I enjoyed.

I've concluded that it must be a result of that proverbial “something” within us that desires more – the something that drives even the most challenge-resistant among us to crave a little water agitation in our life if it means we have a chance at some real life purpose.

In our fearless moments, we see its worth and run towards it.

In our conservative moments, we bolt the opposite way at the mere thought.

And though many of us like to civilize Christianity and tuck it into our safe little Jesus box, the reality is that the road of a follower of Jesus Christ should and will never be completely safe, predictable and self-managed. We’d prefer it, but it’s not possible.

And so all of us have to come to the point in our life and on our spiritual journey where we begin to make a shift. It is where we go from the point of desiring comfort, civility and smooth paths over passion, purpose and glorious unpredictability…to realizing that the only thing we cannot live without is the all-consuming presence of God in our life every single minute -- not a house in a gated community, with an Excursion to carry our 2.5 kids and fluffy black maltipoo around in.

Believers, Jesus and His cause is not meant to be made modern to meet our calendared lifestyle. He did not die so that we could arrange our life to be as comfortable as possible and bring Him into the picture on an as-needed basis. Though we don’t like the discomfort being a follower of Christ brings sometimes, the fulfillment level is one that is unable to be unmatched by a life of no sacrifices.

See the value in following Jesus. Spend every moment running after more of Him. Don’t stop serving Him until you take your last breath.

And don’t forget to crave the challenge. If you deny it, it will either die within you or consume you to the point where you have to answer to it.

The God call is relentless that way.

His, not mine.

Sometimes, God gently speaks to me in the quietness of my heart. In those sweet moments it is a spiritual confirmation or sense of understanding I most feel, coming from Him. These are moments I crave, appreciate, and relish.

And then sometimes, He speaks differently to me. I affectionately call these my “jerk-a-knot-in-my-chain” moments, often brought on by my desire to take the lead in my life. These are the moments I feel the authority of God taking reign of my insides. I probably need them more than I seek them.

Such a moment happened to me over the weekend.

I was getting ready for an event, thinking about some circumstances in my life. Between the whining, lamenting and general internal dialogue in my head, God very specifically spoke to my heart and said…

“Why do you think you know better than I do about what you need for your life? I have protected you from things you thought you needed before when I knew things you couldn’t see. Trust me, Lisa. I know what I’m doing.”

Chain = jerked. Message = heard.

It’s funny how God always has a way of helping me remember that the strong hand I have placed my life in has not released His grip on me for a single second along the way. Making that fact even more remarkable is the reality of how often I try to squirm out of it to run my own course.

Sometimes, that reminder comes with that sense of understanding, love and confirmation, spoken gently to my heart. Other times, it’s with that directness I need to be reminded of the sovereignty of Someone other than me.

Either way, the message is still the same.

God is in control.

He knows what He is doing.

His ways are not my ways.

His ways are best.

To My Writer-Friends

Writer friends, here’s something you need to know…

If you are looking for approval, understanding or adoring fans, you are in the wrong field. In fact, you may want to stop writing right now.

If I have learned anything in the past 6 years of my writing ministry, it’s that every time I write, it will be read by 3 distinct kinds of people: someone who loves me; someone who has heard something about me; and someone who flat out doesn’t like me at all. In fact, the more I write, the more I find group # three grows.

When the critics increase, the tendency is to want to hold back the musings of our heart. Within the beauty of honesty comes the possibility of being misunderstood, judged or criticized. Sometimes the fear of that becomes a writer’s greatest obstacle and they loose the grasp of the raw feelings that made their writing real and relatable in the first place. Sadly, the noise of the critics has gotten into their head, causing them to hold back or doubt their gift.

But then there are those who push through and continue on. They are the ones who write with a purpose beyond needing to get their feelings off their chest. They are the ones driven by their passion for a cause or belief and the desire to help people live better; they are the ones who don’t write to have someone remember their name.

Those in this group are keenly aware that the words they use should be weighed and considered before using them. If they can’t own a word or explain it after it’s become visible, it has to be ditched.

Those who press on understand that the impact of their writing comes when people relate to them as real people with real struggles and real feelings. Wearing the role of a robot doesn’t require vulnerability and could prevent some hurt, but no one I know of has ever been inspired by a cold, pretend person with no soul.

So my writer friends…keep writing. Keep sharing your heart. Don’t be afraid of the critics. Understand that having people agree with you all the time is not the goal. If you have only fans, it is likely you are not as effective as you think you are.

Stir up your reader’s hearts, minds and souls and then show them what to do with that stirring. That's when your writing becomes relevant.

Thicken your skin without hardening your heart. {Tough, but vital.}

Keep your head down and your heart humble. The rest you can’t control.

Your gift is unique and special. Share it freely and don't be afraid of the risk.

What I'm Thinking About

I'm thinking about these things today…

Success.

Love.

Endurance.

Faith.

It’s funny how different these things are defined when circumstances vary.

For my friend with cancer, faith is about something different than it is for me, without it.

Those who don’t have a current large-scale life struggle likely see faith as an amazing Biblical concept that they secretly hope isn’t tested for them like it is in others. But then, as life produces unpredictability, faith becomes something more impossible to live without.

Endurance sounds awesome, in concept. Flashes of running through marathon tape and looking down from the peak of a massive mountain make for spectacular Hallmark-ish thoughts. Often motivated by the idea, we almost forget that sweat, blood and tears usually have to be shed before any glorious scene of triumph occurs.

And then there’s love.

It’s cool to be in love with someone when it feels good. What’s a whole lot harder is when it takes work and effort to keep that love going. Harder still is loving someone through darkness or pain, sorrow or complete ugliness. That’s love when it really counts.

Success is such a tough one. Really, it depends on what kind of outside noise you listen to, where your belief lies and how much you pursue what you were put on earth to do. It’s hard to see the success in a day you got to breathe when you are stuck on a failure you can’t seem to get past.

So, I’m thinking about these things today. Maybe I can get you to think about them, too.

Because I'm pretty sure our circumstances will, at some point, vary...causing our definitions of these things to drastically change.

That might not be a bad thing.

In the End

Stay in the journey.

This is a phrase I have heard my mentor and friend, Monty, say a lot over the years since I’ve known him. I {pretty much} knew what it meant, but I never really knew exactly what it meant to him. But in the 10 years he’s been speaking truth into my life, I’ve never known Monty to ever say anything non-weighed or short of purposeful. So I knew it held significance.

Over yesterday’s lunch he explained himself.

He was talking to a group of us about how he, at one point in his life, felt stuck. His circumstances weren’t cooperating with his desires or needs, and he was left to drill down and dig deep to sort things out: two things that are usually about as fun as the root canal they represent.

As in typical Monty fashion, he began to get creative with this struggle. He knew that there were many things he could not control or make happen. But he also knew that there were some things he had the power to change. With that thought in mind, he decided to go on a Biblical word search of sorts – to choose some words in the Word to study and dedicate himself to implementing in his life. To get started, he chose the word, “faithfulness.”

Thus began his pursuit of a spiritual discipline most of us want, love the idea of, and bumble over, all at the same time.

Because remaining faithful to God is hard, sometimes.

We pray and in 3 days do not see results, and we question His level of care for us.

Or…we struggle and think there is something He should do about it, since He’s the One who is supposed to save.

But as Monty pointed out, “faithfulness” has delayed spiritual rewards – it’s the one thing {besides judgment} that the Word says will be given its proper result later. It’s not instant, which is why we bumble over it. We’re used to getting what we want right here, right now. And that plays into our view of God and what we think He should do for us – a little like instant oatmeal.

After this conversation, I thought about me. Today, I wonder about you.

Are you staying in the journey? Or are you bailing because things are a little tougher than you prefer?

The encouragement I offer you in this post is something of only 4 words. But please know that though it may be short and to the point, it is anything but simple.

See your commitment through.

Even when you don’t feel like it. Even when it doesn’t seem to make sense. And despite the fact that you can’t yet feel the fullness of having God find you faithful. Not now. Not yet.

But that day will come. And though I have no clue exactly what that specific reward will be, I have every belief that it will be well worth it. God doesn’t do anything second class.

So…stay in the journey, friends. Drill down, dig deep and believe the promise of God.

See your commitment through. Stay the course. Remain faithful.

II Samuel 22:26: “To the faithful you show yourself faithful…”

A Forgotten Discipline

Something a Facebook friend wrote on his wall yesterday really stuck with me. Because I don’t know if he would want to be quoted, (and I wrote this before I asked him ) I have decided to paraphrase it for you. Basically he said that if he were paid money for every time a follower of Jesus Christ criticized another, he would be a rich man.

It reminded me of something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately…

The forgotten principal of restraint.

I think it’s been proven by our reputation for spiritual catfights that we are a people who love to get things off our chest. Running our mouth, we are good at. When it comes to saying the first thing that comes to our mind, we do well, too. And when something really messes with our insides, we have no qualms about making sure that at the very least, we let someone besides us know.

We even use God sometimes in our right fighting. One of our primary uses of this is when we reference a Scripture to threaten, accuse or imply things we are angry or irritated about, yet feel we need back up to support. Though, as followers of God, aren’t we supposed to follow His example…practice His behavior?

Consider Isaiah 53: 7…
“He was beaten, He was tortured, but He didn’t say a word.” {msg}

Now if ever there was a time for protesting, this was His moment. If He ever wanted to cite the wrongs against Him, it would have been then. But instead, He practiced the supernatural principle of restraint.

I’m wondering…where has that principal gone?

I’m afraid it’s been replaced with our over-spiritualized view of ourselves. We throw Scripture out when it is convenient for us, often with a peppering of our own opinion and pieces of our own baggage. Sometimes, it’s just more convenient to throw hurtful words at one another than drill down on what is really going on inside our own soul.

How do we justify it? We tell ourselves we should be able to say whatever we want to say. If we feel it, it has to be shared. If we know something we consider news worthy about someone else, we feel suddenly and conveniently spiritual enough to be the one to help others “see the light” about something or someone.

It leaves me thinking about the fact that though we have the freedom to say what we want; it takes much more courage and character to refrain from it.

I’m assuming here, but I think that one of the goals Jesus had in keeping silent was to keep mob-like behavior from further breaking out. Because of His infinite wisdom, I believe that He knew how powerful any word He spoke would be at that moment, and He chose His words specifically and carefully, with thought to the result. He possessed the kind of holiness that innately knew those kinds of things.

Jesus practiced the beautiful principle of restraint.

And yet, we have someone who hurts us and we lash back with holier-than-though vengeance. We experience something we don’t like, and we do and say everything in our power to create a victim in ourselves. We shout from the rooftops when we feel someone is against us, yet we expect nothing less than the gracious benefit of the doubt from others.

We hurt each other, believers, because we do not practice the principal of Godly restraint.

The question then becomes: don’t we need to admonish each other in the Word? Don’t we need to confront one another in love when we know they have done wrong?

Yes, Scripture talks about that. Yes, I think it is right, in certain circumstances. But I’m not delving into that right now because that is not what this post is about.

And the reality is, most of us don’t know how to do that without adding our baggage, feelings or opinions into it. Most of us don’t fall in the category of one who admonishes in the Word. Instead, we are typically more in the category of one who needs to feel better by verbally accosting someone else.

So until we are living holy enough to know what time that is, I highly propose that it would be better to say nothing at all. Working on holiness is our first order of business. When we do, suddenly this issue becomes less complicated.

Bottom line:

Can we? Yes.

Do we want to? Oh, so bad.

Would He? Maybe not.

Let’s recommit to following His example and practicing the powerful principal of restraint. I think we’ve given people courtside seats to our battles long enough.

Hey Marriages -- We Need Help.

I’ve been talking to God today about marriage. Actually, I woke up with it on my brain, knowing I was supposed to write about it. Yet I didn’t want to.

For one thing, it’s a tough topic for me because like most every other woman I know, I struggle to be the kind of wife I need to be. I walk around with certain moments of guilt about how I’m not doing and being everything my marriage needs me to be. And it’s difficult to be vulnerable enough to speak truth about marriage when everything in our Christian society tells us to hold it together, keep it quiet, and pretend really well. Meanwhile, we continue to exist with less than half the marriage God intended us to have. Here’s the hard cold truth: many of us hang on rather than feel fulfilled. Some of us endure but don’t enjoy. Lots of us perfect the act of a married couple but never really realize the dream of the partnership we all long for.

People, it’s all of us…at some point…to some degree.

The other thing that plays into my lack of desire to talk about marriage is the fact that so many of my friends are hurting in this area right now. I have always talked with women who were dealing with the issue of being a wife, but this somehow feels different. I have never before seen the outright assault on marriages I am seeing today. It is frightening, alarming and discouraging. It has reminded me that all of us doing this marriage thing are basically swimming upstream in a small paddleboat with no working equipment. Period.

Look, I don’t pretend to know everything (or anything, for that matter) about other people’s specific marriage journey. And nothing I write in this note is written with someone’s marriage in mind but my own. The truth is that I don’t need to call out specifics in order to share what God has put on my heart on this subject.

But I should tell you that you may not like the conclusion I’ve come to. Because it’s really about being a doer of the Word, and that thought sounds as tough as it is.

Now before you pull out the cynical card and assume I am going to bash you over the head with a cocktail of Scriptures about why you are sinning if you get out of your marriage, please save yourself the trouble and don’t. I doubt I’m going where you think I am.

Where I’m going is just to be honest and tell you that there are days I have wanted to give up, too. There are times I feel like I am in the movie Groundhog Day and I am reliving the same conversation/argument/frustration I have lived multiple times before. There are moments I do not have the confidence that either one of us will ever change what we need to change to be what we need each other to be. I’m not supposed to tell you that, but I don’t care. I almost wouldn’t listen to someone who didn’t tell you something along these lines because I don’t believe they are honest.

But despite those truthful feelings, here’s what God laid on my heart about marriage today…

Often, we hurt each other with our words. The book of James talks about how powerful and hurtful our tongue can be, and never is that so true than in a marriage when we slice and dice with what we say…out of frustration, pain or selfishness.

Sometimes, we withhold grace from each other. They make us mad and we let them know it. We rarely give them the benefit of the doubt. We judge, assume and accuse. Yet the book of Romans (among others) talks a lot about the importance of giving more grace.

Regularly, we feed our flesh. Among our greatest flesh-feeding frenzies are things like not wanting to work on things that are too hard, not wanting to face things we need to personally change, and wanting to live hedonistically with things that only feel good. Most of the time these things don’t have us running to the book of John to hear about how this flesh feed turns out.

I write this today, not sitting in judgment of anyone or having anyone’s marriage in mind. I am keenly aware that some of you reading have been the victim of someone's else's decisions, and you didn't ask for any of it. (While you would certainly recognize you aren't perfect, you have fought for a marriage your spouse did not want in the same way. There is another message for you in another blog at another time. But there is still a bigger message for you about your spiritual journey in this post that I pray you find.) But I write this today because as I journey in my own marriage, I am reminded of how important it is to be aware of what is going on, recognize it in my life, read what the Word says, and then do it.

Because I believe that at the very core of every marriage issue lies a spiritual issue that were we to practice the truth of the Word, it would change.

We can fight it, resent it, and read 3 zillion marriage fix-it books in the meantime, but it doesn’t move us away from the reality that the only way to have a good, enjoyable marriage is to do what the Word says to do to make us the person we need to be.

All the other excuses we give don’t change that, and all the shortcuts we try in between won’t, either. At some point we have to drill down and see where the truth of God’s Word is different from our life, we must change.

If I wait to feel like it, I never will.

But if the truths in the Word deliver what they promise, it is more than worth my effort.

I am praying for a group of married people to have the courage to rise up, see the issues, call them what they are, and do the work. Will you join me in the effort?

I just happen to believe that if we will, Satan may start to get really disappointed by the results.

Dear God, help us in our marriages. You know how bad we need it.

Amen.

I Don't Know How

I have a confession to make that will probably not come as a big surprise to you. In fact, I think I may have confessed it before.

I often try to sort out my life.

I enjoy knowing the end outcome. I like to have everything categorized, sorted through, and determined. And if I can slap a label on it at the end of the process, my mind tells me I have really scored.

You can imagine, then, my concern when I heard myself praying these words over and over this morning during a conversation with God…

God, I don’t know how.

It didn’t shock me to say it, since I am intimately aware of the circumstances I currently live in my life. I already know that I have many unknowns and challenges and untraveled roads up ahead. Yet somehow, acknowledging that I have basically no control over both the big and small aspects of my life, left me feeling a little less secure than I am generally comfortable with. And it made me think of how many of my friends whose circumstances I am aware of might find the same words coming from their very own lips.

God, I don’t know how you are gonna do this.

God, I don’t know how you are gonna work this thing that matters to me out.

God, I don’t know how this impossible thing over here can really happen.

God, I don’t know how this miracle I believe you can perform will be performed.

This morning, not only am I thinking of my own set of I don’t know hows, but I am thinking of the I don’t know hows of many of my friends and acquaintances. I am thinking of my friend with cancer who probably doesn’t know how God is going to defy the prognosis of educated doctors and medical books and heal his body. I am thinking of my friend who doesn’t know how God is going to restore her marriage with a man who says he doesn’t even love her. I am thinking of my friend who doesn’t know how in the world he is ever going to get over the hurt that has been realized in his life. I am thinking of my friend who doesn't know how her husband will find work in time to keep her large family fed. I am thinking of my friend who doesn’t know how the dream tucked away in her heart that only she and God know about is going to ever really happen.

The truth is, there are so many things none of us know how about.

The problem is, we feel like we have to know to live, function and even, trust.

Yet, the things we think we need (the details, facts and information), we don’t really need. We don’t know…and honestly, we don’t need to know.

What we need is found in the comforting words in the latter part of Psalm 9:10: “Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, have never abandoned anyone who searches for you.”

Even though there are so many things I don’t know how about, what I do know for sure is that Jesus can be found in the search. For it is in those moments that we find what we really need to press on and move forward…the unfailing love of a Father who knows, cares, and sees. The fact that, as verse 9 tells me, He has never abandoned anyone who searches for Him, lets me know that despite my doubts, fears and honest emotions, I am not disqualified to receive His care and companionship -- during the process of not knowing how and long after I get the answers I think I need.

And so, my prayer changes.

God, I admit that I don’t know how you will sort out the details of my life. I don’t know how you will do the things that seem impossible. But I know that even if I knew, it would not change who You are. So instead, I search for You…the One who can be found in the not knowing, not seeing, and not understanding.

Great thanks.

She Seeks Speak Up Challenge

Please tell me you are like me.

You see the video rolling on the TV, showing the devastation in Haiti. You want to do something, but you look in your wallet and can't find a dime to give. You wish you could get on a plane and fly over there immediately, helping out in any way they need. The urge is there, and so is the concern. But you can't seem to find anyway to get involved, so you pray, knowing it is the only thing {and the best thing} you can really do.

I've got some good news for you. I have another way for you to get involved.

Today, over at She Seeks, we have issued a She Seeks Speak Up Challenge. Simply click here to find out more:She Seeks Speak Up Challenge

As you can see, all you have to do is invest about 6-8 minutes of your time...watching the video, sharing the link and leaving a comment on our site to let us know how you have helped spread the word. Your comments equal dollars, as our donors are paying the wonderful ministry of Compassion every time you tweet, blog, share on Facebook, or whatever other outlet you may have access to, and tell us about it. It's not complicated, and it requires very little effort.

But if you're like me, it gives you the satisfaction that you have done more than you did the day before to help people who God cares about very much.

Thanks for taking the challenge. You didn't even have to get up from your computer, and it's already making a difference.

Someone Who Changed My Life

Sometimes, someone comes along and changes your life.

Someone came along and changed mine on January 31, 1998.

His name is Graham Scott Whittle.

Not only did he offer me my first shot at being a mom, but he also presented me with my first opportunity to love someone far more than myself.

His presence has made me laugh, cry, and simultaneously experience both joy and sacrifice.

His dimpled grin melts me. His eyes tell me how he really feels. His hair is cool, his heart is big, and his resolve is strong.

His voice is changing, {which freaks me out} and so are his interests. Sometimes I wish he would sit and draw something amazing for me like he used to when he was little. But then I watch him outside in all kinds of weather, practicing the sport he loves…and that reminds me that less and less, I will decide such things for him.

In 12 years I’ve watched him grow taller than I ever expected. I’ve seen him make the right choice and sometimes, make the wrong one. I’ve watched his eagerness to make his dad and me proud, and that has not been hard for us to offer back to him. I’ve witnessed him love God and begin to personalize that relationship, which may be the single most exciting thing I’ve ever seen. I’ve watched him do things he wasn’t asked to do but did them because he knew they would make my life easier. In those moments, I have been grateful.

I’ve seen an artistic, fun-loving little baby turn into a thoughtful young man, with a strong sense of right and wrong.

I know he won’t always do the right thing. I’m prepared (as much as a mom can be) for the times his actions will disappoint me. He’s not perfect, and we do our best to let him know he doesn’t have to be. The truth is that I have always known that his own expectations for himself will drive him harder than anything else ever could.

But what I do know is that his dad and I happen to believe he can be a world changer. It’s not that he’s got more talent than most kids or better intelligence or social skills. It’s just that his life belongs to God. And with that assurance comes great possibility.

My life changed forever the day Graham Whittle was born. He is my amazing son, and I love him in ways a short note (or long one, for that matter) can’t fully express.

May God be with him all the days of his life. May we continue to celebrate his successes and nurture him through his trials. May his life count for more than just himself.

His dad says he can be anything he wants to be. I say he is already more than I ever imagined.

The Better Life

My friend, Cindy, is posting about me and giving away my books this week at her blog. (If you want to enter to win, head over THERE now.) I know her friends who pop over here from that shout-out may expect me to be as witty and clever as she is, but I’m not sure I even want to attempt it. That Cindy Beall is a funny one.

She’s also real. And bold. And for me, that’s an amazing combination. Add a good-loving Jesus girl to the mix and you’ve got awesome.

One of the things I love and appreciate most about Cindy is her ability to move past a painful experience in her marriage and be willing to share openly about it. (If you are one of my bloggy friends who does not know Cindy and her story, CLICK HERE to read about it.) While most of us are quick to point out and even dwell on the shortcomings of others, it’s not often that we are able to openly acknowledge the ways we have wandered away from truth instead of walking in it in our own life. Cindy’s husband has been willing to do that, and the result has been phenomenal.

Listen, we all sin. {At least I hope that's something we are all on the same page about.} We all sometimes say and do things we shouldn’t. The last I checked, none of us are perfect. But fortunately, perfection is not a characteristic God expects any of us to have. Instead, He’s perfect enough for all of us, and then some.

In case you haven’t heard, the Christian life is not about striving to be accepted in the eyes of others or performing to meet their expectations. Good thing, because most of us would fail miserably at that one.

But it’s about pursuing a right relationship with God to the point where nothing stands between the two of you and you know it -- no hidden sin or known pretense. It’s the kind of relationship where you can lay your head on the pillow at night and know that despite all else, you are unquestionably clean before your Lord.

There was a point in Cindy’s husband Chris’s life that he couldn’t say that.

But a desire to forgo personal turmoil and instead, adopt righteousness, led him to become honest about the hidden things going on in his heart. And as a result, his family and many others have been profoundly affected.

I love Cindy Beall. I love her story. But what I love the most is that we both worship the One who loves, chastens, and flat out doesn’t let go. We both worship the One who gives peaceful rest to those whose hearts are bent toward Him; the One who offers the enormously better life.

Sweet Jesus. Blessed restoration.

re-focus

There’s undeniably something on my mind tonight.

Maybe it’s because as I write this, my husband and oldest son are off for a guy’s night out, talking about what it means to be a real man in today’s world. Maybe it’s because of the funeral we attended this past weekend for my husband’s uncle who died of cancer. Or maybe it’s because of what happened to me a week ago, Saturday night.

We were supposed to be enjoying a pizza dinner out with my parents before they headed back to Oklahoma for a few months. I should have loved the food. I should have loved the company even more. But I couldn’t enjoy either because my heart was burdened; and my thoughts were somewhere else. I left the table empty in more ways than one.

We hugged, said our goodbyes and the usual, “I love you’s.” They pulled away as I slipped into my seat in the car, thankful to be back in my own private thought world. It was about that time the tears began to form.

I was sad because they were leaving. I was sad because they were traveling so far away. But I was the saddest about something else.

I was sad because in that one hour I had let something get in my way of focusing on some of the people in my life that matter most. It was something that didn’t deserve my focus. It was something that wasn’t helpful for me to give time and energy to. It was something that took me away – if just mentally – from what was really important. And in a matter of less than 2 minutes, I went from being sad to being mad at myself for allowing it into my mind and life.

What this and the other two things I mentioned at the top of this post have reminded me of in the past week is how easily I can forget about what truly deserves the attention and focus in my life. Maybe you can relate.

As I sit at my desk and write this, I am less than a foot away from a picture of three amazing young people who live in my house with my husband and me. Together, we are trying to raise them to be world changers. That is not only a high privilege, but also a daunting task, and it deserves my focus.

On the other side of my desk sits another picture. It’s of two people with their faces smushed together, smiling widely for the camera. These two people have journeyed in life together for 15 years. To be married that long is almost a miracle. To be married 15 more will be another. I don’t take my marriage lightly or what it takes to make it thrive. It deserves my focus.

Within reach of my left hand rests my Bible. It’s got a few too many worship guides stuck in it and it’s a little beat up, but it’s mine. It’s gotten me through many a morning, day and night. It represents my relationship with Jesus and how He speaks to my heart. That relationship, more than anything else, deserves my focus.

Yet I find that it is the unhealthy things that often steal that focus away. Things I can’t change. Comparisons with others. Words that hurt. People who drain. Things I look at, taste and touch that dirty my heart. Relationships that aren’t real. Things I don’t need and can’t take with me but think I can’t do without.

It took a few days and the three things I mentioned to give me that jolt to remind me of what is real in my life and what I want to be about.

~Aligning my life with Jesus so that like me or not, people cannot deny His presence in my life.

~Remembering what is true and good and pursuing only that.

~Soaking up opportunities to influence people towards something more than themselves.

Tonight, I look around me and see very clearly the things that deserve my focus. I pray not, but tomorrow I may forget. But if I do I need not look any further than things that sit right under my nose and within inches of my right and left hands.

God’s given me plenty to do.

spotlight living

{As my new inspirational entry is running today on the Proverbs 31 She Seeks site, I feel sure that I am welcoming some new readers to my blog. Thanks for stopping by...sign up to get updated posts...and please, come back soon! And if you haven't yet been to www.sheseeks.org, pop over there today to get my take on New Year's Resolutions and see what cool things God is doing through our ministry.

With the new year upon us and the idea of opportunity for a fresh start, I was reminded of an article I wrote in a past issue of the Women of Faith's Connection Magazine called Spotlight Living. With their permission, I post it here. I pray something in it will inspire you in some way as you begin 2010...}

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Technically, I’ve been walking in the light for nearly 30 years. Technically.

But the truth of the matter is that despite the fact that I became a Christian at the ripe old age of 6, my “light” was not shining very bright until about 7 years ago. In fact, though I had the words to the song “This Little Light of Mine” memorized, my light was not illuminating very well at all. Flickering, really, at best.

Like so many women, I was living my life as a small little nightlight, rather than a big, bright shining, spotlight. Truthfully, it’s where many of us currently reside.

It’s not that we want to live our life as a small side table nightlight. The truth is, we’d much rather make it onto the big stage of life, shining proudly and brightly for all to see. But our fears and comfort zones often keep us in a place of darkness, blending in with all the other dark-dwelling people of the world. Dimmed by our own expectations, our lives consist of whatever we think someone else wants us to have, be or do. We are so paralyzed by our own insecurities that being salt and light to others is not always on our radar screens. Instead, we are just trying to make it through the day while holding it all together. In which case, those walking around in darkness do not see light and hope in our eyes, but instead see the same emptiness they, themselves, feel. As a result, they don’t find anything in us worth changing their life over.

Spotlight living attracts people to its illuminations. It draws people in. It stands out in the crowd…causes people to take notice…and interests others to the point that they begin asking questions. Where a nightlight is hardly noticed, a spotlight is highly noticeable. It is the life that impacts others in a big way.

Spotlight living represents a life that is set free by the power of pretense. It symbolizes a life that has journeyed past being comfortable and content with being a simple nightlight. It is a life that hopes, believes, cares, and trusts. It is a life of total surrender and complete fulfillment.

But spotlight living does not come without a cost. Spotlight living requires genuineness and authenticity. It demands truth telling and freedom craving. True, for believers, the light that is within us is Jesus Christ. But if it is not well within our soul we can’t show that light to others. We might want to shine brightly, but our pretense and perfectionism will overshadow our efforts every time.

In a world full of people walking around in darkness, nightlight living simply won’t do the trick. Only when we discover who we are, who we are meant to be, and where our giftedness lies, can we move past the nightlight stage to the bright lights of spotlight living. Then and only then can we get our “shine on” for those around us to see.

I don’t know about you, but I like the idea of being a bright spot in someone else’s life. I think I’ve been a nightlight long enough.