Intervention

I am not too proud to admit that I sometimes get discouraged and afraid.

Some days, it’s just hard. Some days I feel good. But still, on other days, I feel like pulling the covers over my head in the morning and pretending that not getting out of bed is a viable option for me.

Sometimes I get emails that say things I want to hear and make me feel good. Other times I get emails that cause me to cry or become frustrated, maybe even angry.

Sometimes I feel successful with my family. Other times I feel like I have failed at nearly every responsibility with these 4 people I have ever been given.

Some days, I feel compelled and inspired to write. Other days I have enough sense to know I need to stop my fingers from typing something I have no business sharing with anyone but God.

Some moments I see what God is doing, and I don’t even need glasses. Other moments I have no concept of what He might be trying to do and I wonder why He doesn’t see that I am not cut out for the deal He’s got me in.

I hope you can relate to me. Otherwise, I am more blitzed than I think I am.

I won’t lie: the times when I am feeling like Plans A – Z haven’t worked out for me, my Bible becomes my lifeline. My prayers get amped up. I look for God more – maybe even desperately so – in every day things. I get more demanding of His presence in my life. Otherwise, I can’t hold on.

If my email inbox is any indication, I think we are on the same page. One of the emails I got this week was from a friend whose daughter is hurting over a love she feels she won’t ever get over. Another was from a young woman who lost her mom not even 8 weeks ago and doesn’t understand why she resents God for it. Yet another was from someone who is having a tough time hanging on to life, in general.

I got a CaringBridge update on my friend, Kris, who has cancer. He’s struggling, still. It drove me to pray for him, the very second I got it.

I got a rejection email, even though it didn’t say that in the subject line. But I have read through the lines before. Say it nice or say it not nice, it’s still a rejection. And rejections hurt, no matter how they come.

Listen, friend…this is my life. It is the good, bad, ugly and everything in between. Yet, I resist things that I don’t like with every fiber of my being because I am naturally drawn to pleasure and not pain. Thus far in my life, I’ve never met anyone who isn’t.

When I am wrought with feelings of discouragement or fear, invariably, I travel back to the same conclusion as last week, last month, last year. And that is that life is not easy because it’s not meant to be easy. Life is an ebb and flow – full of beautiful things and things that almost literally inhale our soul.

If we are believers, we say we love God. We say we need God. But when life is a DisneyWorld vacation, we tend to shelve those particular things and tell God we’ll talk to Him later. We are much too busy buying things, riding things, seeing things, experiencing things and trying things to have a one-on-one with Someone who isn’t available for autographs or photo ops.

We can’t touch God or see Him, so we grab at those things we can.

But when those things crumble in front of us, we are forced to finally face Him.

It’s in that moment that we are finally available to have a divine interaction with the Most High.

It is the most desperate place to be. It is the most raw and most real. It is the most effective. It is when we stop thinking of God only when we need a close parking place at the Mall and instead, desperately grab onto His collar and beg Him to come and invade our discouraged and fearful life.

Glory to God for sticking around for those moments we need an intervention. Praise Him for giving us things that bring us to recognize we even have that need in the first place. Bless His name, for as long as we have breath in our body, we have the ability to worship our Rescuer.

In the end, as in the beginning, that’s life.

Rich

If you saw my bank account, you would laugh at the title of this post. Without going into any great detail, let me assure you that finances have nothing to do with it. The economic mess we’re in as a country has not fallen short of affecting the Whittle family. Trust me. (Unless, of course, you consider $2.56 a lot of money to have in the bank.)

But despite my current financial status, I am feeling really wealthy these days. Surplus-laden. Downright filthy rich.

Honestly.

And it’s not just a cute play on words or because of the holiday season we are in, either. I love Thanksgiving, but it mainly centers around the fact that I am a girl who loves her food, and I get into the turkey, cranberry sauce, and deviled eggs. I mean, the truth of the matter is that it kind of gets on my nerves that people suddenly start becoming really thankful the month of November. It’s as if we need cornucopias, fake butternut squash, and pictures of pilgrims eating family style at a big wooden table to remind us that we are way more blessed than we should be.

Instead, I find that circumstances often do more for me in the thankfulness category than a seasonal holiday. Things sometimes happen in my life that remind me to see the things around me and love them for their value rather than allow them to continue to be invisible to my senses. I have made no bones about the fact that I am super hard-headed. So it usually takes circumstances on a spiritually-nuclear level to bring me to the point of which I write about – the point of recognizing that my life is really, super rich.

A circumstance, as of late, has brought that needed clarity to my life, once again. Over the past few days I have found myself re-visiting my life scrapbook and appreciating what is on its pages. Here are some of my thoughts about it, in no particular order…

I am rich because for the first time in my life I don’t want to be 21, again. I see the great value in my life experiences and appreciate the wisdom they have afforded.

I am rich because I am ok with the fact that I am not a size 4…or 6…or even, 8. I like myself and won’t be so consumed with staying the size Hollywood says I should be that I compromise my spiritual, mental or physical well-being to do it.

I am rich because I am beginning to hate what is evil and cling to what is good. I’ve come a long way to be able to say that and it be true.

I am rich because I don’t have to anesthetize myself with over-eating, over-exercising, over-shopping, over-drinking, over-volunteering, or over-achieving in order to be able to deal with life.

I am rich because the other day I heard my 12-year old son call me “mom,” and it was as if I was hearing it for the very first time. It made me smile and think about the fact that something I always wanted to be, I now am.

I am rich because after 14 years I pursue holding my husband’s hand now more than I ever have. And that, friends, qualifies as a miracle. :)

I am rich because I live in a breathtakingly beautiful city, where the Master Artist spent some of His best ability painting. Even more, I like the fact I appreciate the beauty.

I am rich because I embrace life more these days. I enjoy new experiences and not having to control them like I used to want to.

I am rich because I get to do life with some of the most amazing people I have ever known – which may include laughter, tears, raw conversations about God or all of the above.

I am rich because I understand where I am in my life. I get what it’s all about. I’m good with where I have been. I trust where I am going is taken care of, even if I don’t know exactly what that looks like.

I am rich because I am not afraid to get hurt nearly as much as I used to be. I have been rejected, disappointed and generally misunderstood before and lived through it. I may have even thrived because of it.

Most of all, I am rich because I finally see how much I need God. I long to be rocked to my core, as long as I can have His presence in my life. I never want to be the girl who doesn’t feel or experience but lives with a safe and neatly gift-wrapped life.

Being wealthy might be nice. But today, I could not feel better off. My stash is overflowing because I have the ability to actually see it in front of me. How very rich…I am.

Child-Like

To my She Seeks friends who have found their way over after my inspirational entry this morning....WELCOME! I'm so glad you stopped by. My goal is to post every Monday, but as you can see from my previous posts, I sometimes fail to accomplish this. (Grace! :) But know this: when I do post, it will be something that is truly on my heart to share. So come back by or sign up to follow my blog...follow me on Twitter or request me as a friend on Facebook. I am honored to share thoughts from my journey with you.

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Once again, one of my children has been a catalyst for self-analysis in my life.

It happened this morning when I went to get my daughter up and out of bed.
Before she had even cracked her sleepy eyes open, her mouth started moving. These were the words that came out of it:

“Mom, this is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.”

Immediately, my heart began to stir. I was tired. Some things were weighing on me. But at the same time, her words resonated somewhere deep within me, where I longed to go and camp out for awhile.

It is the place where good things like faith and love and hope reside. It is the place where simple is better and less is more and naivety is a gift. It is the place where God is love and that is enough for me to want to share it with others. It is a place that has no real understanding of what people are capable of, and that is ok. It is the place where I am not over burdened, burnt out or jaded. It is a place of safety and trust – housing no control issues and no ulterior motives.

It is where a child resides because they haven’t lived long enough to be messed up by the crud of the world. It’s where my daughter currently lives, as evidenced by the joy felt in her words about her favorite day of the week.

It didn’t take much self-reflection to understand what God was saying to my heart…

“Love me like a child, Lisa. Remember what it’s like to rejoice over the simple.“

I know I can’t go back to being 7, again. Life has happened in front of my very eyes, and suddenly, today I become a woman of 38. But the ability to become open and willing and eager and joyful and optimistic is mine to claim. These things are possible, simply because Jesus is my source of life. Circumstances around me don’t have to change for me to saturate myself in the fact that I am a child of God, He loves me, and the day I have today is a gift, plain and simple.

Though the world isn’t always safe.

Though my relationships aren’t always easy.

Though words hurt, my body gives out, rejection happens and there are things I can’t control.

This is the day He has made. My daughter says it is reason enough to rejoice, and I happen to believe her.

Re-defining

Two days ago, standing in my kitchen, God spoke a word to my heart…

“Re-defining.”

I have been thinking about it ever since.

I’m not all that smart, but I can take a hint when I hear one. Clearly, God has noticed that I have mis-labeled myself somewhere along the way and He needs to make some adjustments.

I get it. I feel it.

Listen, everyone says they hate labels. I am no different. I dislike professional bios for people like me for that very reason. It becomes, then, the unspoken thing of either “this is what I do and you don’t” or “this is who I am and base my identity on.” In either case, I don’t like it. I understand the reason behind it, but I don’t like it. It feels like a label to me.

But if I’m honest I have to admit that I been labeled a million times over, sometimes by myself and other times by others. Here are just a few of the nametags I have worn through the years…

Hi, my name is Lonely.
Hi, my name is Shame.
Hi, my name is Popular.
Hi, my name is Insecure.
Hi, my name is Fat.
Hi, my name is Confident.
Hi, my name is Fun.
Hi, my name is Controversial.
Hi, my name is Dumped.
Hi, my name is Reckless.
Hi, my name is Misunderstood.
Hi, my name is Fearless.

I could go on.

As I look back at these labels, I see where none of them have been particularly helpful to me. They were based on things I felt at the time and may or may not have been justified or been caused by my actions or reactions. What I’ve learned is that sometimes people label others unfairly. And sometimes (though unfairly), those labels stick.

But I have to also be honest enough to say that more often than not, we label ourselves. We decide that we are one way and we plant ourselves there. We determine the way we act on a daily basis by the label we give ourselves, even when it’s not a very good idea and doesn’t get us very emotionally far.

I will be the first to raise my hand and admit that for myself.

With this word, “re-defining” that God so clearly spoke to my heart, I know He is trying to tell me to stay the course, as He is in the process of re-defining who I am. But in order to let Him do that, I have to stop thinking of myself as who I was, who others think I am, or who I have always been. It is a clearing of the heart and mind of a “definition” of myself to allow Him to “re-define” me for His glory and purpose on this earth.

It’s tough, because old habits die hard.

Labels stick.

And people like to define things.

But the bottom line is that many of us, myself included, desperately need to be re-defined by Him. We need to stop putting labels on ourselves and let Him determine who we need to be. That may mean that we lose the desire to be popular over being holy. That may mean we let go of the need to be heard or seen. That may mean that we are ok with not playing a role for people that they have come to expect or count on. It may result in us dipping into waters unknown and garage-saleing our identity based on a job or life role or even, painful past experience. I don’t know what all it means.

But if it means what I think it means, then freedom from labels is right around the corner for those of us who are interested.

When I think of it that way, continuing to define myself doesn't make much sense.

So as I write this, I praise God for His amazing ability to “re-define”...and that He's interested enough in me to take on the challenge of removing all my labels. May we all rest in His ability to do more with our lives than we can possibly imagine, including re-defining what has always been who we thought we were.

nothingness.

Last Sunday, I did something really spiritual.

I went to a local woman’s home named Joanie and fed 35 fellow Charlotteans who are homeless. I didn’t take my usual Sunday afternoon nap that day, nor did I go home after church and slip into my track pants and husband’s baggy t-shirt, as is my custom. Instead, I slopped food into compartmentalized Styrofoam plates that clearly exceeded their weight limit.

But before you award me the “Most Likely to Become Spiritual” award and start clapping and cheering for me, let me just tell you the gut-level truth.

I really didn’t want to go.

I was having one of those days. I was tired and weary, if not borderline sick. I was emotionally drained and spiritually dry. I really didn’t have anything to give, and the last thing I wanted to do was go and give some more.

The. Last. Thing.

But it was more than just that.

I think you should know that I am really lame when it comes to serving people. Super lame. Not only is it not my spiritual gift, but it is also not something I am used to doing…ashamed, as though, I am to admit it. I’ve lived many years in a comfortable pew without being asked to do very much for God…and honestly, I’ve liked it that way.

I admire my believing-counterparts who have such ease with their service and have an acute sensitivity to the hurting. I wish I had their abilities in this area and could serve with such effortlessness. Instead, I am so lame when it comes to serving that I am a cross between an awkward middle schooler and a newborn fawn…totally insecure and completely self-conscious…and really wobbly when out of my safe and natural environment.

I could fill this post with many more details about last Sunday’s mission project. But you know the drill, I can imagine. I came, and I served food. I met some new faces and had some conversations. I was simultaneously convicted about how much I have and reminded of how important it is to do God’s work, no matter how it is presented to me. All of these things.

But on this particular day, what was most impactful to me was the 10 minutes between the informal backyard hellos and the slabs of store-bought carrot cake being hoisted onto plates of hungry people: Joanie’s message.

I’m not sure who Joanie had in mind when she prepared her message. I kind of doubt it was intended for me, especially since we had never met. And unless she was The Great Invisible Eavesdropping Woman, she wasn’t around when I whispered to God in the kitchen just moments prior… "Please, Lord. Say something I need to hear. Bring me a word from You. Because right now, I’ve got nothin.’ ”

Joanie spoke from Hebrews, and God spoke through her, straight to my heart. Here were her points, with my paraphrase and in no particular order…

Don’t quit.

Be grateful.

Trust God.

Have joy.

Live love.

A few minutes later, after the food was served and the service had wrapped, Joanie and I were in the kitchen. With tears in the brim of my eyes, I told her how much her message meant to me and how God had used her to speak to my heart. It was then that she turned to me and said something I didn’t expect… “I’m so glad, honey, because I didn’t have anything this morning. I told God, “you are gonna have to give me something because right now, I’ve got nothin.’ ”

The familiarity of her words surprised me...confused me...and comforted me, all at the same time. But one thing was for sure...I knew they were not uttered out of sheer coincidence because that is just not His style.

Even as I write this, I am reminded of Joanie’s words. And over a week later, they seem to be, yet again, right where I am.

Don’t quit. Over the past month, I’ve resigned my life like 3,000 times.

Be grateful. I have so much, yet I want another couple of things to decorate my house with.

Trust God. Wow. I think sometimes I’m better at almost anything else.

Have joy. I have had some serious pity parties lately.

Live love. I am a professional receiver and a farm-team giver.

Listen…I am a strong woman, but sometimes this faith journey kicks my butt. I’d like to believe I’m willing to live a million moments serving God, even if that means I feel really awkward and out-of-the-norm doing it.

But sometimes, that’s just not the case.

The thing is, I’m realizing that I have to first run out of things to say so He can actually speak through me. I’m understanding that when I am at the place where quitting seems like the most plausible option, there is newfound room for Him to give me a much better one.

It is the place of “nothingness.” And it is the place, I am learning, that I most need to be .

Seriously, whatever.

I absolutely love the inspirational entry this week on She Seeks.

Not because it is well-written, though it is.

Not because it is insightful, though it is.

And not because I relate to the specific struggle my friend, Heather, writes about in her battle with brain cancer.

{Because, by the grace of God, I do not.}

But because of this, Heather’s first statement of her post:

“I’m sitting here, trying to think about how to put my heart into words, but the only thing that comes out is ‘Whatever, Lord.’ ”

I love this line because I myself, am at a “whatever, Lord” stage in my life. I relate to not being able to put my heart into words, and I relate to the only thing that I can really say to God in a raw, real way lately is, “whatever, Lord.”

I’ve found them to be among the most powerful of words.

Now you need to know that I am not the most compliant of all His kids, to be sure. In fact, I have had my picture on many a heavenly “runaway” milk cartons in my day. Trust me when I say that everything (and I do mean e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g) within me begs to continue to do things my way. On a daily basis it seems, I want to continue to put my own, controlled spiritual notches on my belt without having to deal with the discomfort of being misunderstood, misrepresented or physically inconvenienced on my faith journey. The funny thing about God is, I’ve found that He doesn’t typically beg me to see things His way. Instead, He lets me run my own agenda and waits until I ask Him to mop up the horrendous mess my independence has made. Just how big of a mess it creates is determined by how long I run it before I get on my knees and say to Him…

“Whatever, Lord.”

These words for me don’t come easy. I am not good at giving up control. Even now, I want to qualify my “whatever” with some element of restraint -- some “I will if you will first do this’s”…some “I’ll try but I can’t promise it’ll happen’s”…and some “I can do this but not that’s.” The bottom line is that I still stinkin’ want so much for God to do things my way so I can be downright managerial with my relationships and feelings and live in my world of "self protection." It's not that it works out better for me, it's just that it's so...familiar...so comfortable. And in that moment, so much easier.

But always, in the end, I know that the life I have chosen is the one that says, “Whatever, Lord.” And while I don’t know what “whatever, Lord” will mean 10 hours or 10 years from now, I do know that the life of surrender is the only one I am able to live since I gave Him my heart at the age of 6 in the worship center of my daddy's church in the small, sleepy town of Enid, Oklahoma.

I can run. {and I have tried.}

I can hide. {done that, too.}

I can wrestle and I can control. {got the t-shirt, blue ribbon and trophy all to show for it.}

But I was not made to live, running my own agenda. In the end, they have proven to just be really messy. But I was made to come back to my Creator after my moments of running, lift my palms up and say…

“Whatever, Lord.”

Whatever that means.

It simply has to be, "whatever."

Matthew 6:9-10 -- " Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”

No One Else

Thank God, I’ve never been in a physically abusive relationship, like my friend whose experience is documented this week on our She Seeks site. {www.sheseeks.org}

But her story made me think about my own relationships through the years.

As I write this, I enjoy a solid, loving relationship with my husband of 14 years. For that, I rejoice…and to a degree…marvel. Because like most people I know, I have been in relationships with people who I loved that rejected me, wanted to change me, and made me feel less than in some way.

I’ve had people choose to love someone other than me. I’ve had people tell me I didn’t have what they were looking for and that they didn’t love me enough to work on the things that were driving us apart. Sometimes they didn’t say it with words. Other times they did.

Through the years those kinds of relationships brought pain of a different sort.

They were the kind that hurt my heart. They were the kind that made me want to be someone with a better personality, better body or better abilities. They were the kind that made me want to be the funniest girl in the room or at least, the best flirt. They were the kind that made me want to be…worthy.

When I think back to these relationships, I think about the fact that in order to make them work, I always had to change something about myself.

I think that’s one of the reasons I love my Jesus so very much.

He’s been my closest companion through every tear…every moment of struggle…and every question of “why” I’ve thrown at Him. He’s held me when my heart broke over a relationship I just couldn’t make work, no matter how hard I tried. He’s comforted me when I decided to take that same heart and move on, even though the prospect of something else scared me to death.

And then He’s taken it a step further.

He’s never expected me to be perfect or look a certain way in order for Him to love me. He’s never cared if I behaved well in my down moments. He’s never judged me for dropping the Christian act and vomiting my true, nitty-gritty, deep-down feelings to Him. He’s never asked me to change, unless it was to my benefit.

For these reasons and many others, there is no one else who deserves my loyalty, love and commitment like my Jesus. Through the years He has singlehandedly convinced me that true love does exist, and it never makes me feel compromised or desperate.

So as I think today about love…life…and relationships…I write these words as a “thank you” to my Savior, Jesus Christ. I thank Him for showing me love and offering me acceptance. I thank Him for letting me be exactly who I am, mountainous flaws and all. I thank Him for looking past my poorly behaved moments and seeing that I still have worth and value as a person.

I can honestly say that I have never loved anyone like I love Him. He is more than all my dreams and desires and raw passions put together. I will never get over Him, and I never have to. He is the true and lasting lover of my soul.

Praise be to God, no one else will do.

This Ain't the Movies

A movie reviewer, I am not. In fact, the only other time I have ever blogged about something I saw on the big screen was in THIS BLOG, where I was clearly enthralled by the seismic roaring of a majestic Lion.

But I saw a movie trailer the other day that made me do an awful lot of thinking. So much so that I knew I had to blog about it.

It was about a girl who had big dreams for her life. She wanted the same thing any normal teenaged girl would want…a cute boyfriend, some piece of fame, and a few moments to feel beautiful. In the first 20 seconds of the trailer, her daydreaming of all these things was rudely interrupted by the sound of a frying pan hitting the wall after her mother tried to hit her with it and she ducked.

Welcome to reality, young daydreaming girl.

The next 2.5 minutes of the trailer was filled with scenes of violence, pain and raw emotion, as pieces of this young girl’s life was told. Some of her life scenes included physical and mental abuse…illiteracy…and unplanned pregnancies. (take 2) Hers was a life that didn’t stand a chance from the moment she was born, given her set of circumstances.

And all the while, she walked down the street with fashionable beads around her neck matching her outfit, dressing up the outside of a person facing hell on earth everyday she was breathing.

And I was reminded that this is life for many people. Just because we don’t know about it, doesn’t make it any less real.

Thinking about it reminded me of a scene I saw of a different kind, about a month ago. I was driving to the grocery store in a strip mall near my home when I passed by a floor to ceiling, glassed in Chinese restaurant. If there were blinds, they were pulled straight up because I could see straight in. The place was completely deserted except for one person…

A man in the last booth, with his head resting in his hands.

I sized him up to be the owner, if his big white apron was any clue. That and he looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. I guess he noticed he didn’t have any customers.

Since his head wasn’t welcoming visitors, I was forced to read his body language. Yeah, maybe he was just tired. It was possible. Or maybe he was thinking…

…What am I going to do?
…How will I make it?

Or even…

I. Need. Help.

I’m sure if a customer passed through his doors he would paste on a smile and sell them a sweet and sour chicken plate. But the demeanor he wore when he thought no one was looking probably told a much more accurate story of hopes, dreams, and goals…met with the reality of financial disappointments, stresses, and worries.

And if true, he wouldn’t be alone…

…because life is hard sometimes. Life is a struggle. Life is a difficult journey to find joy, stay grounded and keep pressing on when the deep end is filled with higher water than one can stand in.

Life is real. And real for some people means being turned away, rejected, left out, or broken down. Real for others means making something out of a life that doesn’t start well -- fighting to find a purpose beyond what their life card deck has dealt them.

Life is not a movie where the scene is shot and the actors go home to count their money and admire themselves in the mirror. Instead it is place where many people we pass by everyday in fashionable beads and big white aprons have burdens the size of Texas that we aren’t privy to.

And so…may I encourage you today to look twice at the people you pass by so automatically in your daily routine? May I encourage you to wonder what is going on behind their eyes? May I ask you to be willing to even care?

May the things that break the very heart of Jesus break our heart in the same way. The first step is simply, noticing.

I promise, you won’t have to look very far. Life scenes are taking place, everyday, all around you.

Choose Courage

Don’t let my girlie sequined jackets and poofed hair fool you. I am a wild child at heart.

I think that’s why I love the Old Testament so much. People in that time were nothing, if they weren’t wild. The passages I love the most document where people were kicking tail and taking names, all for the cause of Jesus Christ. Truthfully, there’s nothing I love more than a true story about someone who is totally jacked up for Jesus.

Someone, like Benaiah.

II Samuel 23 talks about him. He’s not all that famous, really. In fact, he only snagged himself about 3 verses, which is much fewer than some of the other guys with weird names.

In a nutshell, Benaiah was a wild child, warrior type. Among his heroic achievements? Chasing a lion into a snowy pit and killing it.

{There was also Benaiah son of Jehoiada, a valiant warrior from Kabzeel. He did many heroic deeds, which included killing two of Moab’s mightiest warriors. Another time he chased a lion down into a pit. Then, despite the snow and slippery ground, he caught the lion and killed it.” II Samuel 23: 20}

If that isn’t wild, I don’t know what is.

I used to wonder why among all the famous stories of the Bible, a story like that interested me so much. Being a former psych student, I analyzed what kind of a person I must be to be drawn to a story that involved killing, a ferocious animal, and the type of man who would lose his marbles for the time it took him to chase after that ferocious animal instead of running away from it, like any normal person would do. Clearly, either the man had some guts or needed heavy medication.

But after a few reflective moments over the past few days, I think I finally have the answer. {Drumroll, please.} I have determined that the reason I love this short story so much is because to me, what Benaiah did here represents the idea of COURAGE.

My journey these past 6 months has taught me much. The lessons I have learned about what kind of a person I want to be, what kind of a church I want to worship in, and what kind of a collective body of believers God has to work with right now, have colored literally everything in my life. I have learned that I cared more about what people thought than I used to admit. I have learned that I was much more traditional and set in my ways than I would have ever imagined. And I have come to the realization that very few people who call themselves followers of Jesus Christ actually have the courage to stand up for what is right.

Very. Few. People.

It is not a wonder to me why people who do not know Jesus Christ would not be drawn to Him by His alleged followers. What is far more curious to me is how in the world we EVER bring anyone to Him, as flawed as we are. Our tarnished selves seem to constantly get in the way of showing lost people what a perfect God can do in their lives. It’s a shame that we are His representatives, really. I’m not sure any earthly CEO would want people like us representing their company, with our fair-weather standards of conduct. Any reasonable believer will admit what we all know is true: most of us turn more people off to Jesus in our lifetime than we ever turn on to Him.

Honestly.

And so, when someone comes along and does something wildly courageous for God, it fascinates us in the same way a guy like Benaiah does.

When someone stands up for another believer being wrongly accused or slandered, even knowing that their courage will likely result in them becoming blacklisted or shunned, themselves…

...Or calls a spiritual issue what it is instead of tagging it with a better sounding, more p.c. term. {Pride, jealousy, anger, fear, manipulation and resentment are among the issues that get the MOST p.c. terms.}

...Or is willing to admit flaws and faults, so long as it will bring more people to Jesus…even at the risk that it will result in being judged, themselves, for their lack of perfection.

...Or gets uncomfortable long enough to tell someone about the life changing love of Jesus Christ…instead of waiting to be served at a church like a person going through a fast-food line, thinking their needs precede a soul that will burn in hell forever if they are never told the Truth.

These are the people who have courage. They are often not the most popular. But they are the ones who stand a chance at changing the world’s mind about who believers of Jesus Christ really represent.

Friends, when we begin to understand that there has only ever been one perfect person to walk this earth and that our loyalty should only ever be to Him…that our popularity is nothing more than a feel-good lie that rests in the hands of people who won’t always give a care…and that the process of becoming spiritually dead is no more than one compromise away...

That is the day we will choose to have courage.

The good news is that you may not have had courage yesterday, but you can choose to have it, today.

After all, I doubt Benaiah went to sleep one night thinking he would wake up, chase a lion into a snowy pit, and kill it.

The important thing was that one day, he chose courage. And his courage caused an inspired girl reading his story, thousands of years later, without a lot of warrior-like skills or experience in hunting...to want what he had.

Hold the ferocious animal…with or without the snowy pit...

I’ll take the courage.

{integrity.}

God is teaching me a lot about integrity these days.

Just recently, in my Bible study, I came across this verse in I Chronicles 29:17…

“…you examine our hearts and rejoice when you find integrity there.”

And it hit me all of a sudden.

Integrity is really, everything. And when you lose it, sadly, you lose your spiritual senses. You lose your ability to discern and know what is right in the eyes of God. You lose your ability to feel conviction over the way you treat others and live a life of compromise. And, as evidenced in this verse…

You lose your ability to bring joy to Jesus Christ.

This, my friends, is a truth that has stuck with me since I came across this verse over the weekend.

Because I am a "visualist" (not a word but it should be), I process things better when I picture them in my mind. This is just my take on it, ya’ll. I'm not sure it's the way it actually goes down. But it’s how I see it through my lens…

Jesus, with His beautiful, probing eyes, looks deep into the heart of the person on His examining table. Carefully and purposefully, He peels back the surface layers of flowery talk and fancy achievements and gets down to the core where the true condition can be found. Digging even deeper, He looks at things residing in more shadowy spots, unable to be seen by the human eye. He inspects the corners where things like motive and truth reside. And, as the Ultimate physician, after He has made His findings, He leaves the examining room with the terms of the condition of the heart He just examined fresh on His mind.

Feelings are incited. Joy. Pleasure. Satisfaction. Delight in a pure and cleansed, vibrant heart, beating for Him.

Such are the hearts of those who have decided along the way that the honest, authentic life is the way to go. Such are the hearts of those who live with a holy confidence that they are not missing out on what the world says they need, even when it gives them some sense of emotional relief. Such are the hearts of those who trust the One who makes it possible for us to forgo our natural flesh tendencies of lust, pride, anger, jealousy, fear, and deceit. They are the ones who believe with full faith that vengeance is God’s…fame is fleeting…and purposeful living and personal responsibility is ours to choose or lose. These are the hearts He laughs, cheers and celebrates over because they get it.

But then there are those inspected hearts that bring about another set of His emotions…

Disappointment. Sorrow. Maybe even righteous anger. Pain over knowing that life is theirs to choose, but knowing they were offered the better way of living to begin with.

These are the hearts of those who sell their soul to become popular, liked, noticed, important, pleasured, and superior. While the outer layer they want people to see may bring recognition and respect, the inner core of the heart tells the story and incites the responses from the One who created us. For those of us who buy into what the world says is fulfilling and real, our hearts are examined and found to be dark and dirty, as much as the person on the street we compare ourselves to with the intention to make ourselves feel better or less sinful.

The truth is that when the Examiner looks at our hearts, when integrity is not found, the darkness He sees inside doesn’t look any different or darker than those we judge to be worse than us.

{pause and soak that in for a minute.}

The bottom line is that this life is about living authentically and genuinely for Jesus. It is about being able to be in a quiet room with no distractions and have the peace that comes from a life lived with spiritual integrity. It is not about being the most popular person in the room, or the most understood, as good as that feels. It is not something that needs to be appreciated by another flawed human, as people with their own set of motives don't tend to be very discerning and are only wise in their own eyes. But, praise God, it is something that can never be taken away from you when Jesus truly knows the inner workings of your heart.

I, for one, want to be the one on the examining table that incites cheers from my Lord.

Just the thought that He might cheer over me makes me want to continue to keep my hands and heart squeaky clean before Him.

How about you?

It's Real

{sidenote: please go to www.sheseeks.org to read a powerful post that goes along with my post, this morning}

I am still living in the afterglow of what happened in my heart yesterday.

I was hit in the face by the power of the very Gospel I base my life upon. I was reminded of its unique ability to change lives. I was reminded of its impact. I was reminded of its message of truth, love and selfless service. I didn’t think I needed the reminder. But I did.

Without going into all the details, let it just suffice to say that the past two weeks in my house have been rough, at best. Others in the church have experienced the same thing. We’ve been tested and tried and felt weary and generally discouraged in certain moments. But we’ve pressed on, believing God for the outcome…knowing that His Gospel and the cause of Jesus Christ never comes up void, no matter what trials have to be endured to get there.

So as I sat in worship yesterday and listened to the Gospel preached boldly and unashamedly, it hit me square between the eyes. It was as if God had given me new eyes to see and new ears to hear, as if I were a child in my spiritual infancy hearing about the miracle of who Jesus is for the very first time in my life. It took my breath away. It shattered my complacency and moved me in the deepest places of my soul, agitating calmed waters that longed to be stirred.

The Gospel jumped off the pages of my Bible, jumped into my bones and infected me from the inside-out. Rarely do I remember a personal moment such as this one, in the bazillions of church services I have sat in in my 37 years of life.

After the service ended, in the midst of men in black shirts working their tails off to break down the stage and lights and serve God with their hands, I noticed a tall, young man making a beeline for my husband. He was weeping, almost uncontrollably. I watched as my husband took him to a side room, much more private than the one they were currently in. To respect their conversation, I won’t go into all the details of what was said between them. But what I will tell you is that this young man, who no one remembers inviting to our church, showed up, became infected by the power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and went from death to life in a matter of 5 minutes behind a make-shift stage in a rented room.

And I was reminded, again, that the Gospel is so very real.

As I reflect on it this morning, I am still shaking inside from being hit between the eyes by the saving power of Jesus Christ. I’ve seen other people come to Jesus – many of them – in my years as a believer. But this one had particular impact on me. Maybe it was because the battle the week prior was strong and heavy. Maybe it was because of the reaction of a strong, healthy-looking young man weeping openly in front of people he didn’t know.

But I suspect it is more.

I believe I needed to be jolted back to the reality of Jesus Christ at this particular moment in my life. I believe I needed to go back to the beginning and remember what it feels like to fall madly in love with Someone who isn’t sitting in front of you but is more real than your own family. I believe I needed to see a tangible reason why all the hard work and effort of a fledgling, start-up church where people serve more than they are served is not only worth it, but gravely needed.

All I can tell you is that I sit at my computer this morning wanting to love God harder, serve God stronger, and share His message in a bold, new way. The Gospel has, once again, infected my being and I cannot write about anything else until I remind you of what I was reminded of yesterday…

It is real.

Romans 1:16 – “I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes…”

Glass-House Living

Confession time.

I just made a mad dash home to update this blog.

In the midst of dropping off my daughter for a playdate and taking the boys to Chick-Fil-A for some grub, I received a text from my girlfriend, Gwen, to let me know that my devotion, Secret Places, was running today on Girlfriends in God {www.girlfriendsingod.com}. Some of you may be stopping by for the first time after reading that devotion. Some of you may be my already-established friends who have come by to see what is new with me. Regardless, I am so glad you arrived here. As you have probably already noticed, I am sorely behind in posting.

My apologies. :)

But I have been spending time this summer being a wife and mom...breaking in my new role as pastor's wife/church planter...launching a new ministry with Proverbs 31 {She Seeks}...and formulating the beginning stages of my latest book. It's been a fun and rich summer. And may I say...B-U-S-Y, busy.

Not too far into my summer full of all these things, I came to the stark realization that I would need to make sure I was not starving my relationship with God in the process. Otherwise, a padded room and white buckled jacket were not too far off. The truth is, good things can go bad when God is put on the back burner for glorious activity. In all of my roles in life right now, the most important thing I can ever do is make sure He and I are in a constant state of communication so my life doesn't get off track. It's so easy to do, and many of us do it.

Just as I wrote about in my devotion this morning, secret places aren't established overnight. They are habits and sins built up over time that cause us to hide from God, rather than stretch out our lives openly before Him. But addictions to food and sex and spending aren't the only "secret place" addictions that can take over our lives. We can also be addicted to doing...going...performing...pleasing...striving...controlling. These things are a bit more subtle and may not be noticed, but rest assured that they can be just as damaging as those we consider more overt strongholds in our life. That is where we must make sure we are constantly checking in with the Creator of the Universe, who knows us far better than we even know ourselves.

May I encourage you today, friend, to check in with your Creator? May I encourage you to open up your life before Him, with no hidden agendas, nothing to hide and no hint of selfish pride? There is great peace in a safe, authentic relationship with God. On the other hand, there is great anxiety in not being real before Someone who knows the pattern of how your heart beats every second. I know, because I have lived both ways.

So, whether you are taking on new roles in your life like me or trying to break free from old ones that have long needed to be weeded out, join me in pursuing a truth-filled, transparent relationship with the best secret keeper of all time.

Pull your shades up...open up the blinds...and enjoy the view from inside your glass house.

Seeking Him

Welcome, friends, to my blog!

To say I am excited about the launch of the amazing new ministry to 18-29 year old women called She Seeks is quite an understatement. Knowing that Proverbs 31 and the She Seeks team has the opportunity, via the web, to pour into the lives of young women we can't physically reach out and touch is an incredible thought. August 10th could not come fast enough for us, and finally...we are here...and we are launched!

{insert loud applause and a couple of woots here.}

If you are a woman, 18-29, I want you to know that as the coordinator of She Seeks I am committed to relevance, authenticity and truth in everything we do. Our entire team is.

If you are of a different life season but you know of a woman of "seeker" age, please relay to them that message and send them our way. :)

Regardless...if you read my devotion on Proverbs 31 this morning or hopped over to sheseeks.org and read my inspirational entry there, please know that my heart's desire is to speak truth into the life of women. It is among my greatest of joys to get to journey with women to pursue Jesus Christ. I am far from perfect, and I will be the first one to raise my hand to say I need Jesus the most. But I am at the place in my life that I am completely ok with acknowledging that I am completely desperate for Him.

My prayer for you today is that wherever you are physically...emotionally...and spiritually -- in whatever life season or circumstance or place in your journey -- that you will open up your heart to the greatest relationship you will ever have and to the greatest Person you will ever know.

He wants you to seek Him with all your heart, and He stands ready to be there when you do.

Peace.

Well, She Speaks has come and gone for another year, and I find myself back at the computer tonight, working again. Hanging out with my literary agent this weekend was a highlight, but she gave me some serious assignments on her way out of town. So here I sit, re-working a proposal I thought was long ago completed on a book I am jumping out of my skin to write. I totally heart her for pushing me to write better, but...

{whew.}

I am not afraid to admit that it's slightly hard for me to concentrate, because I am thinking about all I have to do to get out of town for a few days with my family. I am thinking about the ministry of She Seeks that is getting ready to launch on August 10th. I am thinking about the 327 emails I need to respond to. I am thinking about what to do with the dog while we are gone and what to pack and what loose ends to tie up before I leave.

And as I'm thinking about all these things, my little girl bounces into the room and stands in front of me. Toothless and tanned, she grins as she says, "I love you, mom." I look her over and take in all of her cuteness. My eyes rest on one of her tiny ears, most of which is covered with a shiny, trendy symbol.

Peace.

I know it's silly, but the meaning behind those $8 earrings spoke to me.

And I was reminded that in the midst of a busy schedule full of commitments and contracts and obligations, peace is still available, accessible and possible.

Just as it is in the midst of trial, misunderstanding and disappointment.

Which should encourage all of us since if we are not currently in one of those places, it will not be long before we find ourselves back there, again.

So to my friends who came to She Speaks and got news they didn't want to hear...and to my friends who have been in one of those places I mentioned or may well be by the time they read this post...and for all the other readers in between who just need to remember that Jesus is in the business of bearing the deep burdens of our heart while carefully carrying our everyday stresses...I say to you tonight, the same word I most need to hear...

Peace.

Laser Focused

As I prepare my heart this morning for the exciting weekend ahead (the Proverbs 31 She Speaks Conference), I am reminded of the importance of never forgetting what this life is all about...

Jesus Christ, and His amazing love story.

I know full well how easy it is to get caught up in life drama, fleshly desires and selfish ambitions. I know how hard it is to balance the gifts God has given us to use for Him with our drive and motivation to have personal success.

But let us never forget that Jesus always stands as the most important. The reason. The purpose. The goal. The One.

If He uses us, it's only because He's got enough grace to see past our flaws to our potential.

If He loves us, it's only because He's got an amazing capacity to be unconditional.

If He stays with us, it's only because it is in His character to be forever faithful.

As a young woman starting out in ministry, my friend, Lysa TerKeurst once said something very wise to me. "Don't let the compliments go to your head, and don't let the critiques go to your heart." It's one of the only quotes I've ever remembered that has had the same impact the second, third, fourth, tenth and 100th time I've recalled it. I admit, often those compliments and critiques can ring loudly in the ears and threaten one's focus -- in life, and especially, in ministry.

I share this quote with you today, fully convinced it is the only way to do life and ministry and not get distracted by both the hype that comes with it and the often bumpy road of becoming unpopular for it. The truth is, if we are not laser focused on the person of Jesus Christ, one of those two will, in the end, eat our emotional lunch.

The cause is way too important to lose any potential influencers over either one, either way.

So will you join with me in thinking only about Jesus today? In the midst of your striving...worrying...controlling... and managing...will you remember that He will work out your life much better than you could ever, in your wildest dreams, imagine?

There will be compliments and critiques along the way, my friends. But when we are laser focused on Jesus, our ears are way too deaf to hear them.

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus." (Col. 3:17)

What's Ruining His Appetite

THRiVE Church Charlotte is officially 16 weeks old.

In those 16 weeks, we have held a worship service with 250 homeless friends…watched 20 of them come to Christ…moved from a very temporary location in a hotel to our current location at the UNCC campus…developed our very own THRiVE band with an amazing worship leader…seen our children lead out in a mission project to their city…learned what to do with the gifts God has given us…and given the very shoes off our feet to someone who doesn’t have any. And yes, some of us walked out of church barefooted because of it.

We’ve worshipped God at a local park (twice) with creatures great and small, from mosquitos and flies to one very friendly cat. ☺ And we’ve seen what God can do when people decide to come together rather than serve apart.

But this post really isn’t about THRiVE, although there is much in my heart to share about this amazing new work of God. The truth is, there are other amazing works of God all over this city, and we are blessed to serve among them. Many of them have reached out to us to offer encouragement, support, and love since our birth. In that way, it has been both refreshing and igniting to watch this kind of Kingdom mentality at work in a city we all know and love. It gives us great hope for what can be accomplished together.

But my heart is full this morning, and my desire is to offer an exhortation to all of us, as I, myself, have been exhorted by Scripture this morning. This post is meant to encourage you, me, and all other believers in Jesus Christ who will read it, to stop behaving as if God is exclusive to our life, our work, or our ministry.

Ya’ll, let’s just be real honest. It’s a problem for us.

I love the work of God enough to say this as strongly as I can: I am tired of churches and believers getting their feelings hurt and reacting as if someone doing God’s work in another part of the city, they are “competing” against them. I am tired of ministries looking at other ministries as competitors, rather than allies. I am tired of believers feeling like their ministry or church is the elite ministry or church and all the others are doing sub-par work for God. I am tired of people who God chooses to deliver His message being racked by their own set of fears and insecurities stifling the work of God in their own life because they can’t get past themselves to remember the purpose for which they were called in the first place. I am tired of leadership not taking a firm stand of loving each other rather than promoting an attitude of division and resentment for other ministries, ministers, and fellow believers.

With whatever circle of influence I have, I am encouraging this type of negativism to stop.

Paul saw it as harmful, petty, and downright wrong, as he wrote the book of Romans to the Christians in Rome and believers, everywhere. As I was reading this morning in chapter 14, I was reminded of this and encouraged to continue on with the passion to “do something together” both at THRiVE and in my individual journey as a follower of Jesus Christ. I am motivated by its Truth, and I pray it will motivate you, as you read it.

May all of us remember to love those He brings to His table, whether they hurt our feelings, get more recognition, or just flat out do something we don’t like. May we remember not to let our own insecurities and fears hinder the work of God that so desperately needs to get done. May we be convinced that joining hands to do His work will accomplish much more than exclusion ever will. May we put our agendas aside and live only for His. It is my prayer for all of us, believing friends. We can’t start a moment too soon.

{By the way, this passage is long. But it is worth every minute of its reading. I’ve chosen to quote the Message translation because it breaks it down in the simplest of terms and puts thing in such a way even a simple mind like mine can fully understand. ☺}

“Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with – even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently. For instance, a person who has been around for awhile might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume he should only be a vegetarian and eat accordingly. But since both are guests at Christ’s table, wouldn’t it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn’t eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table. Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God’s welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help…

It’s God we are answerable to – all the way from life to death and everything in between – not each other. That’s why Jesus lived and died and then lived again; so that He could be our Master across the entire range of life and death, and free us from the petty tyrannies of each other. So where does that leave you when you criticize a brother? And where does that leave you when you condescend to a sister? I’d say it leaves you looking pretty silly – or worse. Eventually, we’re all going to end up kneeling side by side in the place of judgment, facing God. Your critical and condescending ways aren’t going to improve your position there one bit.

So, tend to your knitting. You’ve got your hands full just taking care of your own life before God. Forget about deciding what’s right for each other. Here’s what you need to be concerned about: that you don’t get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is...

So, let’s agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words: don’t drag them down by finding fault. You’re certainly not going to permit an argument over what is served or not served at supper to wreck God’s work among you, are you?”

Enough said.

See you at the dinner table! For His sake (and ours), let's get along.

Laundry, Ringtones, and other spiritually significant things

First, I need to brag.

My little Shae did this. By herself. With no help at all. My little 6-year old Shae. The same little 6-year old Shae who goes into absolute hysterics when her brothers don’t acknowledge her new dress looks pretty. (Which, basically, NEVER happens.) She may well have the highest pitched whiny voice ever to be heard, but boy, can she fold some clothes like a pro. 1st grade boys, take note. She likes to cook, too. ☺

But now onto the subject of this post. Which still happens to be about little miss Shae.

Oh, and my Blackberry.

Ever since my free month of “Don’t Stop Believing” ringtone expired on my phone, I haven’t gotten another one. Honestly, my phone rings a lot, and usually during times I don’t want it to. So I have been keeping it on vibrate 24-7, as not to disturb the peace in various places in and around Charlotte. But the downside to that is that I miss a lot of phone calls in the process.

So after retrieving my 27 voice mail messages the other day, I decided it was time for a new ringtone.

The dilemma ensued.

What song should I get? Another awesome 80’s tune? A top 20 hit I secretly like dancing to but have lyrics that aren’t suitable for…basically anyone?

And then it hit me.

I could hear Shae from the other room, reciting what has become somewhat of an anthem in my house as of late, it’s been said so many times. The Hannah Montana “Hoe Down-Throw-Down,” to be more specific. Those of you who know it, know what I’m talking about. It’s rather…(and strangely)…addictive. It involves words said with a southern drawl…specific motions to the words…and a whole lot of sass. Shae qualifies to say it on all counts.

And so she was, “hoe-downing, throw-downing” once, again. I smiled when I heard her, the sound was so familiar and so sweet.

And that’s when I decided to make it my ringtone.

So now, when you call my cell, I hear the sweet sound of my high-pitched 6-year-old saying, “Pop it. Lock it. Polka dot it. Country fry it. Hip-hop…cross the floor…” I’m not sure the general public will appreciate hearing it like I do, but I don’t care. I love to hear the sound of my sweetheart’s voice, regardless of the particular content.

It made me think about how much God loves to hear the voice of His kids…how when He hears our particular and specific “ringtone,” He delights in the prospect of the one He loves being on the other end. I thought about how I smile when I hear that sweet voice of the one I love…and how He must smile when He hears his child’s voice when we place the call to have a conversation with Him.

It is the simple aspects of God’s character that I often lay down and saturate myself in. His pure and undying love. His joy in His children. His devotion and care.

These are things I relate to.

And now, as if it didn’t before, this pitchy ringtone from my sweet little 6-year old, Shae, has even more significance.

Oh, and did I mention she can fold a mean load of laundry?

Settling for Less

Given the fact that I never thought I’d ever own a pet in the first place, I certainly never thought I’d see the day where I gained any type of spiritual inspiration from an animal. But friends, the day has arrived.

It happened this morning as I was chastising our family dog, Maggie.

With much work needing to be done, I sat down to focus at my desk. Typing away, I felt the familiar feel of fur on my legs and feet, a sure sign that my little 7 pound papoo was around. Since bringing her into our family at Christmas, I’ve come to appreciate the feeling, if not take comfort in its familiarity. But on this day the deed was done with a completely different motive than to show owner love. It wasn’t because she wanted to be near me. It wasn’t even because she likes being confined to small places or that she wanted to curl up in a ball at my feet and nap.

Instead she was lurking. Looking for something.

Sitting under my desk is a decorative trashcan, typically way too full of shredded paper, opened envelopes, and various other junk I don’t want. To Maggie’s delight, my trash happens to be her treasure. She loves to stick her nose in the trash, pulling out whatever is on the top and can be easily clinched in her teeth and brought out.

Usually, it’s paper.

But it doesn’t stop there. Because when she grasps the paper with her teeth, she runs away quickly, knowing that if I catch her, the paper will be retrieved and put back in it’s place, and the game will be over. In which case, she (sadly) won’t get to delight in the delicacy of a former tree. Sigh.

This morning, as she dipped her nose into the trashcan, clinched a discarded and torn Target receipt in her teeth (like a toy from one of those money-wasting arcade games with the pinchers that never grab anything), and ran with her treasure and for her life, I finally had enough and told her so.

“Maggie! You frustrate me! Why in the world would you want to eat paper from the trashcan when you have a full bowl of good food in your dish, just waiting for you to eat it?!”

I don’t know why I chose today to exhort her. It’s not like I think she understands me any better than any other day or that I think she will actually stop doing it. (Short of taking her to doggie behavior school, which I have no plans to do. ) But everyday I watch her grab the trash from my trashcan and eat it. And every day it frustrates, confuses, and bothers me.

Today was no different. Except for when I heard myself say out loud what I had been thinking for months, I saw its irony.

And how much it reminds me of what we, as believers, do.

How we grab at the less flavored…the less healthy…the least choice options this world has to offer instead of choosing the staple…specifically chosen…nourishing things God has waiting on us.

We sink our teeth into the familiar – those things we are used to having – doing the things we are used to doing. They are ultimately unfulfilling. But still, we choose them.

And we run.

We run with them, knowing somewhere inside that they don’t work for us. We run with them, knowing that if and when we have to give them up, at least two of us won't feel very good about it in the end.

It’s a silly illustration with a very real spiritual application.

It’s the issue of I want what I want when I want it. I will do what I’ve always done because it is familiar, not because it works for me. I settle for something because I am unwilling to wait for better.

Friends, let’s remember that while the things offered by God may not be as familiar, convenient or easy for us, they are by far the best option with the most lasting results. How much it must pain Him to watch us go after such bland delicacies of the world when His selections are so far superior.

Now if I could only get Maggie to appreciate the difference. ☺

Temporarily Sweet

When I wrote my last status update on Facebook, …“it’s temporary, ya’ll,” I wasn’t thinking about anything but the star tattoo I have adorned on my foot since the second night of our family beach vacation. The caption matched the new profile pic I posted, one of my stubby 5-toed foot and said star. In case you’re curious…
I wrote the update/caption after wondering if any of my ink-rejecting, conservatively wired friends would palpatate and think I’d lost my mind at Myrtle Beach and gotten a real one (tattoo, that is) when they saw the picture.

Not yet, friends. Not just yet. ☺

But when I cracked open my Bible this morning and read this passage in Job, I couldn’t help but see the irony in my own words…

“Like something rotten, human life fast decomposes, like a moth-eaten shirt or a mildewed blouse.” (Job 13:28 The MSG)

Ok, first let me say what you’re probably thinking……ewwww.

Not the typical word picture I enjoy when looking for nourishment from God’s Word. But as always, truth greets me everytime I open my Bible, whether it be something that soothes my soul or stirs it.

Call me crazy, but I think I know what Job was thinking. I think what he’s trying to say here is that “it’s temporary, ya’ll.”

Not just spray-painted on tattoos, of course. Someone schooled at the Hard Knock Academy would not be so trite as to be referring to that.

Instead he is talking about…that thing called…life.

I should know this from my own personal experience, especially since I just returned from a long weekend in a place I called home for 13 years of mine. I’m long gone since my residency there. I’ve since made a new home for myself in a different part of the country and different time zone. But at the time I lived there, it seemed like I might live there…forever.

Between the tattoo and the thoughts of my recent trip to a place I called home, I find comfort in the spiritual application.

Strangely enough, both have reminded me that my life here on earth is temporary. I have no idea how “temporary” for me is measured on days I am breathing, but it really doesn’t matter. Amidst all the “don’t knows” of my life, the one thing I am as sure of as the fact I am math challenged is that I am not staying put here forever. One day I’ll be gone. So will you, by the way.

As hard as it may be to fathom or admit, neither you nor I was put here on this earth to be a wife or a mom or a friend or a child or an attorney or a neighbor or a church-goer or a cousin or a really good person. My personal opinion is that God is gracious enough to give us those beautiful “roles” in life to allow us to endure the scratches and dents this world bestows on us while on the journey. (Kind of like ice cream made shots from the doctor a little bit easier to deal with, when we were kids…but even better.)

But friends, that’s really not why we are here.

We are not here to make ourselves more convenienced and comfortable, as awesome as that feels.

We are not here to saturate ourselves in fun to the exclusion of remembering our greater purpose.

We are not here to rest in our roles and make ourselves feel better by doing the occasional “good thing” for others.

We are here to make a difference in our circle of influence for God. We are here to do what pleases Him, shouts His fame, and impacts someone’s eternity. We are here to serve as He served, and give people a reason to see life with Him as better than life without Him. We are here to be used by Him for His purpose and His glory – alone. It is an exciting privilege.

It is also a beautiful one.

But the beauty of the temporary doesn’t end there.

Because temporary also means that the aches and pains we feel…the cancer that touches our lives…the difficulties…won’t last forever. (This one's for you, Kris.)

It means that the hurt we experience when someone doesn’t want us around anymore will also leave.

It means that the challenges…the uphill battles…the scramble to make it…the injustices…the negativity of life…will one day be gone.

And it means that our loves…our losses…our beautiful days and our sad ones…our great choices and our really poor decisions…won’t mark our lives permanently.

Because…well…it’s temporary, ya’ll.

So long after my tattoo fades…long after my book writing career is over and my beautiful roles in life change…even when my circle of influence gets smaller and the numbers on the calendar get higher…

I have something sweetly permanent to look forward to.

Dear Springfield...

Hi friends!

I am back, after a several week hiatus from posting. Thank you so much for coming back to hear what’s on my heart! I am traveling to Springfield, Missouri, on Wednesday for a packed week of speaking, book signing and attending my 20-year high school reunion! I am so looking forward to all of it, even though I will miss my family while I am gone. As I sat tonight and reflected on the coming days and going “home,” I couldn’t help but think about all the things God has done in my life to bring me to the point where I am today. I started writing a normal post…but it kind of evolved into something else, so I went with it. Please keep me in your prayers this week, as I share a message with many of my friends and peers from years ago about how God has changed my life. And in the meantime, here’s my post…a letter to the place I used to call “home.”


Dear Springfield,

I am just three days away from seeing you, again. I have to admit, I am hugely excited and a tad bit anxious. What will you look like? Will I recognize you? Will you have changed? My guess is yes. I know I sure have since the last time we were together.

The last time you saw me I was a young woman with a heavy heart. My father had just resigned his 13-year position with a church he knew and loved. I loved it, too. I guess that’s why I cried so much when we got in the car and drove away. At first, there was relief. Ministry was so hard, and it was nice to just be Lisa and not the “preacher’s daughter” for awhile, even under the circumstances. But then it was just weird. I wasn’t sure how to be Lisa anymore, I had been that other preacher’s daughter Lisa for so long.

But I digress.

The point is that I am coming back to see you, a much different Lisa than when I left. Oh, I am still the same girl who detests lima beans, wears uncomfortable shoes, and has never really liked her hair. My tastes in music haven’t much changed. But my heart? Well, let’s just say that there isn’t a big enough word to describe what’s happened in there.

I can’t wait to share it with you.

I know I’ll remember things about you when I see you. After all, I spent 13 years of my life with you, so I SHOULD know you, at least a little. But I’m really not sure if you will recognize me. I’ve changed that much.

When you knew me I thought for sure I knew everything I would ever need to know about life and then some. I hoped the world revolved around me, and I was pretty sure it did.

When you knew me I didn’t realize that I didn’t need to waste my time doing things that wouldn’t benefit my life. I did so many of them, I didn’t really keep track.

When you knew me I was under the impression that I needed to be thin, wear the right clothes, and get the right person to love me to feel endorsed.

When you knew me I had no idea that I could love a God I could not see so much that I wouldn’t need to see Him to know He is real.

When you knew me I didn’t really know myself. Thought so. Hoped so. But didn’t.

So you see, coming back to see you now, after all these years and more than a few life experiences, is an amazing thought. I’m excited to see you. But in the back of my mind I also wonder if you will make me cry. We made so many memories together.

But I am ready to see you, again. I am ready to look back on my life then and praise God for my life now. I am ready to make eye contact with people I love and may not ever see again, this side of heaven. I am ready to share the message of my heart – the message He has pressed on my heart – one of hope through hurt, faith through fire, and the love of the One who covers everything in between.

I don’t come back to you a perfect woman. You’ll see that right away. But I do come back to you a woman who knows who she is, understands where she’s been, and lives for the Jesus who brings her joy.

Thanks for letting me come back and see you, again. It will be sweet to reminisce with you and remember what we shared.

An Honest Blog

I have learned, over time, not to try to write something significant when I don’t have it on my heart to write.

Don’t get me wrong – it’s not that God is not showing me anything. I would misrepresent the past few weeks if I were to imply that. But it just that there are those times that so much is in my heart that I am not sure exactly how to let it come out and have it make much sense to someone else. It’s in those times that I just have to acknowledge that I may not write the kind of blog I really want to sit down and write – one that is pressing on my heart and flows with great meaning and some sort of spiritual insight is offered to the reader. Today is one of those times and this blog is not one of those {greatly insightful} blogs.

I’m trying to be ok with it.

Because, you see, my blog and blog readers are important to me. It took me a long time to be willing to share my heart in such an honest way with people who could access it any time they wanted by a click of a mouse. I resisted it, wildly, at first. But it has truly been one of the most amazing blessings in my life – between the people I have met and the ones who read anonymously but share in my life, and everyone in between. All of you mean a great deal to me, if I haven’t told you so lately. ☺

And so, I don’t want to let you down now that you’re here.

I’ve thought about taking a blogging break, simply because I would rather not have you coming here to expect something to be worth your time to read and instead get sporadic details about my crazy, busy life when your life is crazy, busy, too, and you sacrifice something to even show up here in the first place. But my heart just won’t let me do that, for some reason. So I hold on to this blogging thing I love, praying for wisdom to know when and if to pause from it for a season.

But that day is not today. So for today (which I’m learning to live for), here’s what I’m gonna do.

I’m gonna just be honest and say I am very stretched right now – emotionally, physically, spiritually, creatively. My role of wife and mother to three has not stopped since adding a title of pastor’s wife, church launcher, She Seeks coordinator, and author of a forthcoming 3rd book, et al.

I’m gonna admit to you that I am way behind in my email correspondence, a fact those of you who have written to me and haven’t heard back already know. (So sorry, friends. ☹)

I’m gonna tell you that I am frustrated at the relationships I want to pour more into but can’t, simply because I am responsible to do things that effect more than just me.

I’m gonna acknowledge that I have spent a good bit of the past two months asking God why in the world He has so much for me to do and why in the world He seems to think I can do it.

I’m gonna tell you that I am tired. And, by the way, so is my brain.

I’m gonna just tell the truth about my very crazy, busy life. I’m not gonna sugar coat it or make you believe I am able to juggle all this seamlessly and without any tears, questions or blown off steam. (Thank you, treadmill ☺)

I know you can relate to me.

So know from the get-go that I’m not writing anything in this blog that will blow you away with insight. The simple and not-at-all clever title of this blog should have tipped you off to that. But since I have already determined that you relate to me (assuming, yes), I do want to share with you a few things God is reminding me of, in the midst of all the craziness of my life in the hopes that they may be of some help to you, as well. They are my spiritual silver linings, and they are in no particular order or clarity.

1) Don’t take daily time with God out of the equation, just because it seems like it would, at times, be easier to. {I need Him, not the other way around.}

2) Do what I can do and acknowledge what I can’t. {Which happens to be a lot these days.}

3) Be ok with sacrificing things and even, people, for the most important relationship in my life. {Admittedly, this is a tough one for me.}

4) Remember what this whole life thing is really all about. {Temporary highs and lows with a steady and sure eternal end.}

5) Please God and let everyone else think what they want. {Another tough one for me, but I'm slowly getting it.}

6) Cry, if needed. {There’s a reason that lump in my throat is there.}

7) Know that I won’t ever go anywhere or go through anything that will take me off His radar screen for even a second. {I still can’t fathom the fact that I am always on His mind. So are you, by the way.}

8) Look for things to get rid of that don’t facilitate growth in my relationship with God and keep me from personal health and wellness. {This requires wisdom, friends. It also requires courage.}

9) Appreciate people who love me. {Honestly, sometimes I’m not sure why anyone would want to hang out with me.}

10) Pray like crazy. {Period.}

And yes, there are more. But because I am trying to exercise numbers 2, 8, and 9, I simply must make that all for now. :)

While it may not be what you came by here expecting, I pray that you found something in this post to encourage you today…this week…right now. It’s a crazy, busy life for us, friends. But if we live with #4 in mind, we can make our way through all the madness life inevitably brings. For I am convinced that sometimes it takes all the madness life offers to bring us to the point where we have no other choice but to start looking up. Oh, it's good when we do that.

“Blessed be the Lord— day after day he carries us along. He's our Savior, our God, oh yes! He's God-for-us, he's God-who-saves-us.” (Psalm 68:19 The Msg)

HomeStretch

Hi friends!
I am finishing up some writing for a new book project and have almost met deadline. I will be posting later on this week, after I can clear my mind enough to come up with something to blog about. Hey -- maybe I'll try something like prayer. Think God would give me a post? I'm counting on it.

Love you, my faithful blog readers!

Let's Do Something Together

If you boil it all down, THRIVE CHARLOTTE is built on the 1st and 2nd commandments…

~Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and strength…

and

~Love your neighbor as yourself.

Based on our own experience, Pastor Scotty and I happen to believe that most of us haven’t gotten these two concepts down very well, so far in our Christian life. The truth is that we see in ourselves and others where some of our ideas, traditions and yes, even good-old church policies have actually gotten in the way of doing life with God in the way He intended in the first place. The result of which is some really good church-going people walking around really dissatisfied with life. And even worse than that? They haven’t a clue why.

We have been there.

So now, we want to help people THRIVE in these two commandments. It is our strongest belief that when we do, the good intentions of believers everywhere will actually become a reality and no one will have to talk us into personal holiness.

We aren’t about the bigger and the better. That’s been done and done, again. We are about scaling all that back and trying something simple like…I don’t know…maybe just doing what the Bible says to do.

Love God – Love your neighbor.

It’s about spiritual community, first with God, then spilling over to others. Which is why THRIVE CHARLOTTE’s “tagline” is made up of just 4 simple words.

Let’s do something together.

We started living out this tagline on week one that THRIVE had a pulse, with the shoe thing. Now on week 3, we lived it out, again, when 60-something people from ages 11 to 65 met on a traditional Sunday church morning to go and serve food, sort clothes and provide a service for a portion of the growing homeless community in Charlotte. It was 7am, chilly outside, and the incentive certainly wasn’t a custom THRIVE koozie, since we don’t have them. But people showed up, enthusiastic and eager to tackle their THRIVE LIVE mission.

Were I to go into everything we experienced that day, this would be an excruciatingly long blog for you to read. But because I suspect at this point I may still have your attention, please allow me to simply hit the highlights. For the bigger picture is much more important than the all the precious details we will forever take away from this 2nd Commandment experience.

The first amazing thing was meeting Sister Rosa. Sister is the 5’4” dynamo who runs the Harvest Center and runs it like a tight ship. She doesn’t play and doesn’t want you to, either. Meeting her, I certainly didn’t want to! As we gathered in an upper room, she told us about her experience growing up on the very streets she now ministers to. She didn’t try to pretend she had always lived a neat little Christian life, tied up with a neat little Christian bow. Instead she was, just…real. Raw. A take-no-bull kind of girl, and I liked her. A lot.

Almost right away, she had us working, doing everything from sorting donated clothes to chopping potatoes for the lunch we would also serve. With all of us scattered about in our black, green and white THRIVE t-shirts, she made sure to let us know that if we were going to wear such a bold claim on our bodies that she was going to hold us to it. “If you’re not thriving, the best thing you can do is take off those shirts right now,” she said with a half grin. All of us took her exhortation seriously, and none of us wanted to be the one who didn’t prove it true.

And so we worked. All of us. We sorted and chopped and served. One of us sang. (Props to Jamie Morgan and his cool pick-up band) Pastor Scotty preached.

I could see the skepticism on faces as my hyper-sanguine pastor/hubby got up on the purple satin curtained stage to speak. After all, most of them were not used to a short white man in ripped jeans and a goatee preaching to them. But it didn’t take long to change their minds. Because in the next 30 minutes that Pastor Scotty spoke, God’s spirit fell. The message was powerful, and so was the response.

At the very invitation to come to Jesus, 20+ people raised their hand and prayed to receive Christ into their heart. For a moment, our physical and social differences didn’t matter. We were all in the presence of an Almighty God. And it was beautiful.

On a personal note, I prayed with a woman named Jessica that morning. She had beautiful brown eyes and skin to match. It was the softest I have ever touched, except for my babies when they were infants. I might not know that except for the fact of what she did. While I was praying with her, with my hands resting on her shoulders, she took one of them and placed it, open palm, on her face. I could sense the lump in my throat when she did, and I felt it’s significance to both of us. With my hand resting now on her cheek, I could feel her hot tears spilling onto my hand. The truth is, they were spilling out my eyes at the same time.

I thought about our obvious differences. We were two very different women, I suspected. But as is the need of all humankind, we both needed God in a very raw, very real way, which bonded us in a significant way. After we finished praying, I looked into her eyes and she looked in my heart. For a minute, we trusted each other, though neither one of us had reason to. She called me, “Maam.” I told her I wouldn’t forget to pray for her. She asked me if I would remember her name. I told her I would.

With this experience fresh on my mind, upon my return home from the Center I read a quote by one of my favorite authors, Brennan Manning. It made me think about the THRIVERS who showed up that day to serve and summarized my feelings about what I experienced at the Harvest Center, perfectly.

{Get ready for pure genius, readers.}

“The wild, unrestricted love of God is not simply an inspiring idea. When it imposes itself on mind and heart with the stark reality of ontological truth, it determines why and at what time you get up in the morning, how you pass your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, and who you hang with; it affects what breaks your heart, what amazes you, and what makes your heart happy.” (The Furious Longing of God)

I know this quote is true because I have seen it for myself.

Going to the Harvest Center, I watched 60+ people do something unique, different, uncomfortable, and maybe even, heart breaking. And yet, no one asked about childcare or compensation or recognition or really, even, safety. No one asked when it would all be over and they could go home to their cushy couch for a regularly scheduled Sunday afternoon nap.

In fact, when we were though and our “duties” were done, no one got up to leave. There was a strange sense of excitement and fulfillment in the air, as well as the desire to linger just a little longer. Maybe we wanted to serve some more. Maybe we wanted to meet our own needs by staying. All I know is that I saw a look of joy and peace on the faces of THRIVERS, ages 11-65, who had, on this particular day, lived out the 2nd Commandment.

Don’t tell me people aren’t willing to step up and serve.

Don’t tell me people don’t want to be challenged.

Don’t tell me people won’t join hands with other ministries to do something together for the cause of Jesus Christ.

I don’t believe it because I’ve seen it done.

With one flamboyant Sister, 60+ t-shirt wearing THRIVERS, and a great and mighty God at the helm, originator of the brilliant concept of Kingdom-minded teamwork.