ExPoSeD.

After all the build-up and fanfare…it’s here! Today’s my last day of posts in 2007, and the day you will definitely see the “real” me. Funny thing -- I'm kinda nervous. :)

I’m thinking you probably aren’t sure whether to be intrigued…or frightened! I can certainly understand. I’m actually not trying to do either, but rather, take you on my own personal journey for truth and authenticity in my life. (Ok, I guess I did want to intrigue you enough to get you back to read this post. But it worked, didn’t it? :) )

Anyway. Here is what I know. Before I can expect anyone to be real with me, I first have to be willing to go there myself.

That’s what this blog post is all about.

I guess whether or not you visit my blog again depends on how much you appreciate what’s real. For me, I have always loved interactions with real people who don’t profess to be perfect and aren’t afraid to tell the truth. I’m not talking about the heart on the sleeve kind of thing…I am talking about honesty…integrity…knowing oneself…and learning how to wear the flesh I was born with while not letting it rule over me. Telling the truth is an integral part of that for me.

I’ve kept you waiting long enough, so let me get started.

First, I have a question for you. Take a minute and answer it carefully and honestly.

Is what you see always what you get?

I could illustrate this point with many different things, but in keeping with my “getting real” theme, let me illustrate by using a few “snapshots” from my own life…

Here are some things I want you to see…




























Here are some things I don’t want you to see…

Here are some things I want you to see...

Here are some things I don't want you to see...

I know, I know. Not too glamorous, is it? (No, I was not on drugs or sedated in these pics -- that is really what I looked like after a day at home with a cold, after having cleaned the house!)Certainly these second round of pictures are much less pleasing and attractive than the first set. I wish I could have stopped with the first set and not had to post the second set for you. I wish I could let you think the pictures of a put-together house and smiling girl with professional makeup and hair was exactly who I am. That what you see when you visit my website or my blog is the real me, 24-7, all the time, everyday. But that wouldn’t be full disclosure, now would it? :)

Speaking of which, I think this is a good time to tell you what I have in common with a well-known Hollywood actress. Stay with me. I promise, it all relates.

Jaime Lee Curtis -- the woman known largely for a most bodacious body (think True Lies). I wanted to post her picture here, but I wouldn’t want any male readership to come across it. Their wives might not appreciate me posting it! (Hint: google her)

She could have stopped with our impression of her in a skimpy bikini and let us envy her for looking so perfect. She didn’t have to do anything to change our opinion of her perfection. She didn’t have to get real. But she did. Take a look...


I still remember the first time I saw this picture -- the gutsy move this Hollywood actress made when she posed for a magazine in boy shorts and a sports bra without (gasp!) any airbrushing. At the age of 44, Jaime Lee Curtis showed her “real” side by allowing herself to be photographed without make-up, spray-on tanner, or photo shopping. She did it to show how 44-year-old women REALLY look, without the help of computer-generated doctoring. And I have mad respect for her because of it.

So, what do we have in common? Not much, really. I have never made a movie or gone to a movie premiere. I have never experienced fame and don’t personally know any Hollywood actors. I have never even seen the kind of money she has at her disposal. I don’t live in California, and I wasn’t raised by parents who were famous. I have never had the killer body she had or lived the glamorous life she leads.

But I do share her desire to cut through the “fluff” and just be real.

In truth, I have always been a get-real kind of girl. But I have to say, age and deeper spiritual maturity has given me the increased desire to be authentic and real in any and every area of my life. And, in this last post of ’07, I am exposing myself and my soul to you in the best way I know how. Following Jaime Lee Curtis’ lead, I want to be an example of what non-perfection looks like.

She looks like me.

But pictures won’t tell you everything. Just in case you think dust on my baseboards and junky garages and closets are my only imperfections, let me further expose myself to you. Rest assured, there are other things I don’t necessarily want you to “see” about me. I sure hope you can handle my truth.

I don’t want you to see...

...I am sometimes very stubborn.
... I sometimes eat too much and regret it later.
... I sometimes justify my purchases at the mall and sometimes never think twice about them.
... I am sometimes not a very good wife to my husband.
... I sometimes laugh at jokes I shouldn’t.
... I have, at times, yelled at my children, even though I wish I could say I never have.
... I sometimes hold back tears when I really need to cry.
... I sometimes fear getting older and becoming more and more anonymous to those younger than me.
...I sometimes put other things before my relationship with Christ, and I sometimes stand Him up for our 7am standing appointment.
...my back fat, cellulite or growing number of grays and wrinkles.
...I sometimes compromise when I shouldn’t.
... I sometimes envy women who are more laid back than me and can let things roll off their back with greater ease.
... I get sad at times, thinking about my parents one day not being around anymore to advise and encourage me.
... I sometimes wish I had more money.
... I sometimes wish I laughed more and worried less.
... I often want to grab my children and keep them cocooned in our safe home forever, never letting them out of my sight for a minute.
... I sometimes don’t love my body.
... I sometimes get nervous, hesitant and insecure and want to run from serving God.
... I sometimes worry about my health.
... I sometimes am very selfish.
... I sometimes regret things from my past or strained relationships with people I once cared about.
...I sometimes try to control everything around me and wind up exhausted in the process.
...I sometimes think my way is better than God’s way and try it out first.
...I sometimes want to quit.
...Sometimes…some days…thoughts of inadequacies and shortcomings and failures flood my mind and make me feel very insecure.
...I sometimes fear my friends and family -- those I love -- might one day stop loving me altogether.
...I sometimes resist vulnerability, even though I need it more than most anything else in my life.

Though the list could go on, I will spare you the rest of my many imperfections. I think I have probably convinced you by now that I am far from any measured standard!

Friends, I am doing what I resist today – being completely vulnerable with you – because, well, I need to. It is easy to list all my “good things” on a profile or in a professional bio. It’s easy to show the world pleasing pictures of me that have been photo shopped or taken with a great camera angle. It’s easy to show you the things I want you to see, rather than the things that make up the “me” that I really am…the “ragamuffin” me I sometimes wish I wasn’t. But that’s not true authenticity. It’s not getting down and dirty, nitty gritty….real. And that’s what I want to do.

Jesus is a real God. He deals in real life. He tackles real issues. He desires real relationships with real people who aren’t afraid to tell the truth. He wants nothing more than for us to be real with ourselves, each other, and most of all, with Him. In fact, He can’t have the kind of relationship He wants to have with us until we are.

So, while I am far from any worldly measured standard of perfection, I am closer to spiritual perfection than I ever have been. With each day that goes by my imperfect body and fleshly, fallible nature is diminishing and I am getting nearer and nearer to the perfection I so crave. (“but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.” I Corinthians 13:10 NKJV)

But in the meantime, getting real reminds me to see myself through the lens of my precious Heavenly Father, who could not be more real if He were physically sitting in the room with me right now. I am a serial sinner, saved by His undeserved grace. I am a fearful, inadequate woman who can be fearless and adequate by His power and through His holiness. I am a mess of a person, but He continually cleans me up. Author Erwin Lutzre once said, “God is a specialist. He is able to work our inadequacies into His plans.” I don't know about you, but I am certainly counting on it! :)

With this thought in mind, I can be free to be the picture of imperfection and not be afraid to show it to you or see it for myself. I need to be imperfect so He can shine His glorious perfections through me for me and the rest of the world to see. People may not love me, but people cannot resist the Jesus in me. Boy, does that take the pressure off.

Girls, will you join me in getting real in 2008? Let’s not call it a resolution, but rather, a necessity for growth. I have long believed that if I am not growing, I am probably dying in some way. I’m not willing to let my need for others to think I have it all together get in the way of living in truth and authenticity! What about you?

My next blog will be in a new year. I have something exciting to share with you, and I hope you will come back. Don’t worry – there won’t be any other big “reveal” about me. I’m not sure if there is anything else to share after this blog! :)

Thanks for letting me expose myself to you. I hope I wasn’t too imperfect for your taste. Praise God I’m not too imperfect for His.

Lisa :)