His

My girlfriend called me this morning with a huge burden on her heart. Though different from the specifics weighing on mine, I related to her struggle to cope with things out of her control.

People.

Circumstances.

Major life decisions without clear direction.

The reality is that there are just some things we cannot do anything about at the end of the day but say, “It’s yours, Lord.” It’s exactly what my girlfriend said after trying to first deal with it on her own.

For me, it’s an “It’s yours, Lord” kind of day.

What about you? Are there things you are dealing with that you need to let Him have?

Stop trying to cope. Stop hoping to figure it out. Give it over.

It’s His.

big.

I start this blog off with this confession: sometimes in the moments of my daily living, the knowledge of who God is doesn’t consume my thoughts.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but it must be acknowledged.

Other days, I can barely do anything but cry out the lump in my throat over the remembrance that a big God gives me His (very divided) undivided attention.

Yesterday I had one of those days.

My family watched THIS VIDEO together over the weekend. If you’ve never watched it, you simply must. Go to your local bookstore and find it, order it online – do whatever you have to do to watch it. But be warned: its contents may cause a throat lump to form, worthy of a big old ugly cry.

It’s a beautiful message of a very big God who loves a very small every last one of us.

Many times in my daily life I feel small…less significant than another…a whole lot of trouble for a busy God to have to spend His time, keeping in line.

Maybe that’s why my soul longs for a place where my status is cherished. Valued. Given priority. Tagged as highly important.

My heart rejects it when the world tells me I’m just a number. I refuse to believe the space I occupy is a rented one – able to be reissued or recycled to the next person who comes along after me. Yet sometimes, this thought creeps in.

And even though Psalm 139 is permanently etched in my mind, it takes more than a memorized chapter of words to turn me inside out and expose my innermost longings of needing to be close to Something bigger than myself.

Which is why I often need the reminder of the big God I love. I need to feel small without feeling insignificant. Valued without feeling entitled.

And on those days when I feel like just a number, I will look for those reminders that He is as big as I know Him to be. And I will remember why that knowledge is worth having a big old ugly cry over.

He’s a big God. And He loves you…and me.

May that never stop being a big deal.

Selling Books, Not My Soul

People who know me well know I grapple with this whole promotional Christian artist/writer/speaker world I find myself enveloped in. It seems I spend a lot of brain space wondering how to be and do what God has {dually} put breath in me to do and burned inside my heart…without getting caught up in the whole “author getting famous” deal that people claim has to go with it.

Trust me when I say: I hate anything that seems contrived, and often, that includes my view of ministry.

I was thinking about this today upon receiving an email from an old and dear friend. Her words touched my heart. They also jolted me back to a bit of spiritual reality, and caused me to remember something I find key in this whole ministry thing…

We can’t forget about people.

I know that some of you will be annoyed that I simplify it this way. It’s a repugnant thing to suggest to our fragile egos that we might (gasp!) possibly forget about anyone. But the very real risk in the rat race of self-promotion is that somewhere along the way, it could be the one thing that causes us to lose touch with our core mission. Not only can it happen, but often, it does.

Trust me, I get what has to be done to sell books. I’m just rebel enough to not want to sell my soul doing it.

Not everyone is contrived in this process. I’ve seen more than one ministry leader who has a healthy view of who they are and what they are called to spend their life doing. As a result, their authenticity is felt. The truth is, God doesn’t give a flying flip how many Twitter followers we have. (Even though I’m not too proud to admit that I’d like to have a few more, if I’m being completely honest.) What He wants to know is: have you helped me change someone’s life today by representing me well?

The results of the pursuit of spiritual authenticity are far richer than the pursuit of personal acknowledgment. May that thought be our compass and guide in the mad days of social media gone wild. If necessary, may we go back to the place we started, when our one core desire was simply to show the world Jesus. May we never forget about people, who are infinitely more than just a number to God.

May we help change someone’s life today by representing Him well.

Lips May Lie

I’ve been reading Psalm 78 this morning.

It’s talking about the children of Israel and how they treated God – the One who saved them from enslavement and their self-produced problems, stemming from their stubbornness and lack of remembrance for all He’d done to rescue them.

How familiar this is to me.

Verse 36 is where it really hurts, when it says:

“…they followed him only with their words…”

Often, I speak to women about how it is very possible to say things with our lips that we don’t really mean in our heart. We do this because many of us have been so programmed to speak Christian lingo that we forget when we’re talking to God that He sees right through it. He’s far more interested in the condition of our heart than hearing cheap talk that doesn’t last any longer than the moment it leaves our lips.

Yet still, we continue to try to say the right things to prove we are one of His. Others may believe it. But He knows the heart from where it comes.

Maybe our prayer today (and everyday) should be: “God, help me not say anything today I don’t mean. Close my mouth if what comes out will not be true and honest, especially when it comes to You.”

And if we wind up saying nothing at all, at least we will know that our words didn’t guide us into insincerity. I dare say a few fewer words won’t hurt any of us…especially when the ones that do come out will be ones that we really mean.

The awesome God of truth we say we follow deserves nothing less.

the Bubble

This story (click for link) is a hot one right now, in the Christian community. If you haven’t been living under a rock you may have heard about it.

I’ve been asked to weigh in on this subject, and I do so with a deep understanding that not everyone will love my response. Good thing I have busted out of my own churchy bubble just in time not to care.

Which brings me to what I believe the issue is at hand: the bubble many believers live in.

It’s what causes us not to see how we are coming across to others…and maybe not even worry about it. Of course, we would say that we do, because churchy people don’t admit to things like that. But actions always tell the true story.

I’m not here to debate what specific beefs Anne Rice has with the church. What I am here to do is to weigh in on my thoughts about her “ditching Christianity” as a whole.

Ironically, this is something I tackle in my new book with George Barna, out next year. In it, I ask women to do something many of them have ever considered: to separate their religion and tradition from Jesus, Himself. My theory (which has been proven true, many times over) is that if you don’t, when the church lets you down (and they will), you will begin to ask questions about God that you don’t need to. If He has been equated with all of your rituals and practices and you associate Him with the pastor who preaches love but practices something else, you will eventually want to ditch the whole gamut. In other words, God loses out because people don’t represent Him well. It happens all the time. Got scores of emails of personal stories in my inbox right now to prove it.

In addition to these testimonials, I’m a recovering church-aholic, myself…so I get it. I’ve seen it. Been on both sides. Lived in the bubble and watched it burst around me. Survived it and love Jesus more than I ever have. But that doesn’t mean I love the way believers hurt each other.

I don’t love the way we get angry when someone tells us the truth about who we often are. Or the way we respond to people when they don’t think like us. Or the way we tag people unfairly when they step a little too close to things we cling to like spiritual security blankets.

I find Jesus in none of that.

I’m no Anne Rice: a woman who probably lived many years without the tradition I was born into. I’m a former churchy girl who grew up in a very churchy world and in many ways, haven’t left. But do I want to be associated with those who speak His name but don’t bear His fruit? Absolutely no way.

I want to associate with the Jesus who loved, gave away, inspired, influenced, healed, and drew people in by His character. I want to associate with the Jesus who was who He said He was, all the time – not just from the stage or on camera. I can’t be Him. But I want to be like Him. It’s quite a lofty goal, but I’m working on it.

And for those of my churchy friends who will want me to address His righteousness and holiness and the mandate to live by Scripture, on that we can agree. I wouldn’t forget about those things and feel compelled to want to achieve them, as well.

I’m just glad that I can do that outside of my churchy bubble.

Really glad.

Confession of a Happy Misfit

If I told you that I don’t usually do what people tell me to do, that wouldn’t be a shocking confession. Most of you who follow my writing know that already.

But other things may come as a surprise to you. Like the fact that I am not as confident as you may think. And I rarely feel like I fit in, most anywhere.

I can play well with others (I’m a former pastor’s daughter, remember?), but I really don’t thrive inside circles you might expect. I don’t like to conform. I like to surprise people who assume I’m one way and find out I’m another. I always root for the underdog because usually, it’s me. If you tell me I can’t do something, I will die trying to prove you wrong.

I won’t tell you that there haven’t been moments that I saw this personality thing of mine as a huge hindrance. Believe me when I admit that I spent multiple years of my life wishing I could just be like everyone else: keep my mouth shut and play along. But somewhere along the way I figured out that my best option was to continue to be myself, even if that meant that I would often find myself in places I didn’t quite fit.

The thing is, it’s often better not to.

Fitting in many times means to say yes to things you really should reject. It can mean that you may walk away from group settings or packaged conversations with people whose main purpose is to just fit in, feeling compromised in some way. It's those times that you find yourself laughing about things you don't think are very funny...talking about things you don't really care about...hoping no one will notice that you are about to jump out of your very own skin.

The truth is: people that fit in may become more popular, but they never become more effective.

The happy misfits are the ones that have a shot at really making a difference, no matter what the popular crowd may say.

Join the team. If Jesus went against popular thought, so can you.

She's alive!

Don’t fall over. Yes, I’m {finally} updating my blog. I didn’t exactly intend to take a blogging break for the past several months, but apparently, that is what I’ve done.

I can assure you, it’s not because I have taken a break from life. That, my friends, has continued functioning at a rapid pace, and I have been running after it, trying to keep up.

It’s no secret to those of you who know me {as more than just a face on a page} that this past year has been among the greatest and most difficult of my life. It has brought with it many hard moments and many rich insights. People I have loved have come and gone out of my life. Unexpected new relationships have emerged. Lasting friendships have…lasted.

Many of you already know this, but for the few who don’t: my husband and I started a church and closed it, all in one year. We pulled together when the stress of our undertaking could have pulled us apart. All the things we feared happening to us in the process came true, except for one: we never lost our family. I cannot tell you how much joy it brings me to be able to type that last sentence and to be able to honestly say we are "better than ever."

If I were wanting to sound super spiritual, I would assert here that through the challenging past year, my relationship with God never changed. It is true that He never changed, though I can’t say the same for our relationship. It changed in many ways…ways it needed to for many years. When one has been a believer for as long as I have, sometimes a great change needs to occur, even when we don’t run after it. For me, it was far and away the greatest benefit to come out of the difficult year I experienced. Therefore, I can’t regret one minute of my bumpy 12-month journey.

There is so much in my head that I can’t get all of it out in this blog or it will be longer than you care to read. Many of the insights that came out of this year I have included in my new book, while many I have kept out for now, as things experienced are not always healthy to immediately share. But to say I am grateful to get to share my heart in book form, once again, is an understatement. Especially the message I get to share, as I know it is the message I was put on this earth to speak.

So you can see what has been keeping me busy over the past several months, as every bit of passionate thought as been directed toward this new Tyndale project, due for release in May of 2011.

In addition, the amazing ministry of She Seeks {a Proverbs 31 ministry for 20-somethings} that I am privileged to coordinate has really taken off. Ironically, it started nearly a year ago, as well, and our team is seeing the fruit of our labor as people are not only spreading the word about us, but they are recognizing our desire to be authentic and honest about the real life struggles we all face…and the answer we have found that supersedes them all, Jesus Christ. I couldn’t be more excited about what God is doing through us in this ministry, and I find no greater endorsement than to have said that we are making a dent in what some people think about Christians. I’m afraid we’ve been in need of some better PR for a long time, due to our own actions.

And now, I emerge from my non-intended blogging break to blog, once again. I pray I have something to say after leaving 50,000 words on the page of my new project. By the looks of this blog and its length, that shouldn’t be a problem. ☺

Be looking for my new website and blog to roll out in the next few weeks. It’s another one of those things that has been pushed aside for the greater good, but I’m past being ok with how lame it looks. My genius graphics guy has been working on it, and I’ll unveil it soon.

I’ve missed you, my friends. Thank you for letting me speak into your life every week through writing. I had no idea how much I missed it until this very moment.