Questions

I’ve come up with a new quote this morning. I don’t know whether it's good or bad, it’s just where I currently am. It came to me this morning while I was putting laundry in the dryer for the 6th time in half the number of days, thinking about what to write about in this post.

“If you don’t know what to say, just share your heart. In it, you’ll find your words.”

I don’t know if it’ll work, but I’m hoping that it’s true.

But before I start sharing my heart, let me qualify this post by assuring you that I am not disillusioned. I am not upset. I am not even discouraged. But I am asking some questions.

My weekend has been full of questions, really. They ranged in scope from the simple, “Did you get my email?” (hubby)….to the more than one word answer kind…“Mom, why don’t Graham and Micah wear ties to church?” (If my little 6-year daughter only knew how “unsimple ”THAT was!)…to the “I-don’t-understand-this-and-I really-wish-I did” moment I experienced last night while at my computer.

I had just finished viewing a Utube video montage of the former President with the title, “Thank You, Mr. President.” It was a 3.5 minute tribute of pictures from President Bush’s years as our Commander and Chief set to a moving song by Christian artist, Steven Curtis Chapman. I watched, in remembrance of many of the moments the pictures captured. As I did, I wondered. To myself. Then the questions came.

Why did this man seem to have such a hard road while in office? Why did he not have the “success” or approval of the world when he is clearly a man of faith? Why didn’t God exalt him and make his name great like He certainly could have done?

I could come up with theories to answer these questions. I have, actually. But last night I knew it was much more than that. That’s when this verse came to my mind.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. (Isaiah 55:8 NIV)

I have been comforted by this verse lately, as it seems to keep re-occurring in my life. Up until last night, this verse wasn’t related to any questions I might have had about the former President or his last 8 years in office. It was much more about my life and how I’m feeling right now and what is going on in my heart.

I think I’ve come up with what that is.

I used to think I didn’t like “questions.” I mean, the mere idea of having to ask a question about something signified to me that I was lacking something or wasn’t capable of figuring something out myself. I’ve always been a “do-it-myself” kind of girl and love to wave my flag of independence. But I don’t think that’s what this is about.

I’ve decided that it’s not the questions I don’t like. In fact, sometimes I love them. I love being asked about the day one of my children was born…what Jesus is showing me right now…how my husband and I met…what circumstances God brought into my life to get me my book contracts…where I got the super cute vases on my mantel that look like they cost $200 apiece but came from a grocery store for only $19.99 apiece. Those are all questions that make my heart leap when I am asked them.

On the other hand, there are questions I don’t like as much.

Case and point: A young woman from another state across the country wrote me this week and asked me why God had allowed her to be in a terrible circumstance beyond her control.

It’s one of those questions a great book can’t answer for you. You can offer Scripture. Gather information and give your opinion. But at the end of the day, it’s a question that just cannot be answered.

Those are questions I just don’t like. It’s not the questions in and of themselves. It’s really about not having the answer to those questions.

I’ve decided I don’t like not being filled in.

And that is where I am today. With a heart full of questions.

Are you, God?
Will you, God?
Can you, God?
Have you, God?

Some of these questions can be quickly answered. Some cannot. All in some way probably won’t be, at least not in the way I’d like them to be.

So I will continue on today, with Isaiah 55:8 playing in my head, hoping it somehow makes it’s way to my heart.

I’m good. Just have some questions.

Don't Hit the Button

Out of all the words I might have anticipated hearing come from an argument between my boys, these were not among them.

“Oh great, Micah. Just great. You just killed our dog!”

I nearly spit my diet coke out on my desk. From the escalation in my son’s voice, I just knew it had to be something dire. My mind raced with thoughts of my 60 pound son falling on our 5 pound dog, severely injuring him. I guessed it was a terrible accident that resulted in a broken limb or something worse. My brain started going in a million different directions, all in a matter of about 15 seconds.

Bracing for the worst, I jumped up from my desk and made my way into the kitchen where the argument had ensued. There I found my younger son, Micah, cowering in the corner, looking really worried. His older brother, Graham, was fuming. Maggie, on the other hand, was looking up at me, playfully wagging her tail. She was gloriously oblivious to the tense situation before her.

“What in the world happened, guys?” I asked. “What happened to Maggie?”

Graham spoke up right away. “Micah killed our dog, mom! He let Maggie eat a piece of a Smores pop tart, and now she’s gonna die! Someone told me that chocolate is deadly to dogs, and thanks to Micah, Maggie ate some!”

I admit that I am no dog expert, but at the sight of our very energetic dog, it was abundantly clear to me that Maggie would not soon be going to doggie heaven. I exhaled with relief. It wasn’t that I was glad Maggie had ingested a crumb-sized portion of a chocolate filled pop tart – it was just that compared to what I THOUGHT might have happened, this was the better of the two.

After calming Graham down and reassuring Micah that Maggie would not, indeed, die over this, I retreated to my desk to finish whatever I was working on.

That’s when it hit me.

Graham’s reaction…

…was so much like my own sometimes.

Like Graham, there are moments in my life where I react to situations and circumstances that I don’t fully understand, and I quickly get frenetic. I jump…I become alarmed…and I go to pieces. In an instant, I lose it. I become flustered and frightened. I am thrown into my feelings of inadequacy to handle whatever it is that presents itself as a complication in my life.

And then…I hit the panic button.

I can only imagine the frustration God feels over my reaction. I can relate on some minute level, knowing the frustration I felt with my own son over his panic in the situation with our dog. His response was so unnecessary. Even though what happened might have warranted a reaction, his was way over the top.

Friends, may I encourage you this morning not to hit the panic button in your life? As you read this post, you may have circumstances in your life that seem way out of control. You probably have things in your life that seem dire. Maybe you are feeling such urgency and pressure that you are convinced your fate is sealed. Things may not look pretty. Life often doesn’t.

I love what the Word says about these moments in life. “So we will not fear when earthquakes come
and the mountains crumble into the sea.” (Psalm 46:2 NLT) This Scripture suggests to me that the tough stuff of life is a sure thing. It WILL come. Big things. Bad things. Crises. Major life disappointments. Circumstances that will make even a strong person want to hit the panic button.

But though we are tempted to respond with panic, God desires for us to trust. It’s easy to exercise our faith when things are going well and within our control. But what about those moments that keep us up at night with worry – those messy life moments where nothing seems sure?

It is in those “mountain crumbling” moments when we are tempted to panic that God says, “Don’t.”

“Trust.”

“Wait.”

“I see what’s going on.”

“And I’m not panicking.”

The god of the Good Thing

To my friends who came over after reading my Girlfriends in God devotion today....WELCOME! :) I'm so glad you stopped by, and I'm praying that God touched your heart by the words in the devotion. I post a new blog every Monday, and I'd love for you to visit, again. Feel free to visit my website at www.lisawhittle.com or contact me at info@lisawhittle.com. Be blessed!


I woke up this morning, intending to write about something else. But after I dug into the Word, I knew God had something entirely different in mind. So for now, the dog story and application will remain on hold. ☺

I landed, today, in II Samuel 15 and the rebellion of Absalom and subsequent national rebellion of the people against King David, Absalom’s father. After welcoming Absalom back into his life (after fleeing after murdering his half brother Amnon), Absalom “thanked” his father by subsequently plotting to take away his throne. I’m thinking David probably had some better ideas for ways to repay him for his gratitude, but clearly Absalom did not get the memo.

The truth is, Absalom thought it was all about him for some time. He didn’t develop his mouth watering for power overnight. Instead, his good looks, persuasive actions and lack of accountability led him to believe he could do what he wanted and get away with it. He was a master of manipulation and knew how to work the system to get what he desired.

So it made sense that he would hatch an elaborate plan to win over the people from his father by means of mental extortion. The nuts and bolts of his plan was that he would go to the city gate where traffic was heavy and he could have the most visibility. (Since Jerusalem was the nation’s capital, business and government affairs were conducted there.) There he would involve himself in people’s concerns and complaints and sympathize with them, trying to plant seeds of discontent and anger in their heart. He would do this to make David look bad and himself look good.

“I understand your concerns…”

“If it were me, I would do it this way…”

“I am here for you….”

“I wish he would understand the way I do…”

“I agree with you…”

He even tried to look humble by not allowing people to bow before him in reverence, instead responding to them in a less-kingly way. He did all the “right things”, but in his heart, it was all wrong.

His subtle control got him what he wanted. The proof is in the pudding in verse 6 when it says, “…Absalom stole the hearts of all the people of Israel.” Seemingly, Absalom was serving these people from a position of ministry. Truthfully, he was serving only himself.

As God is continuing to call me to a place of ultimate purity in my life, I have to take a lesson from this story and receive His memo to me. In the midst of the “good thing” I do in my life, what am I really trying to do? Do I serve to make myself feel better? Do I want to be seen as a spiritual mentor or communicator for pride sake? Am I trying to steal hearts away from God or others and for myself?

It’s not a new issue for any of us, I’m afraid. But it is an issue that must constantly be checked…and re-checked…and checked, again. Our motive…our desire…our goals. The “good thing” that, in the blink of a nanosecond, can go really bad.

Ironic, then, that I am in the midst of a Bible study called No Other Gods.

I’m adding to my “gods to watch” list…the god of the good thing.

Serving.
Speaking.
Ministering.
Caring.

I've seen where Absalom's "good thing" got him. (II Samuel 18) I think I prefer to do the good thing the "big G" God's way.

Monty

Hey friends!
I am just dropping you a quick note to say that I will be back with my next blog post either tomorrow or Wednesday. Our mentor, Monty, is in town, and my hubby and I are spending some time with him this morning, gleaning his wisdom! As I type this, I am headed out the door for a couple of hours at Starbucks, soaking in the last few hours before he goes home. Thanks for understanding! And...to those of you who know him...try not to be too jealous. :)

Not a Facebook Bashing Blog

There is a song that has been playing in my head for the past couple of weeks. I have to admit, it is only slightly less on my nerves than Bon Jovi’s Dead or Alive that my son’s play incessantly on their new Rock Band Ps2 game they got for Christmas.

Oh, be careful little eyes what you see.
Oh, be careful little eyes what you see.
For the Father up above looks upon you with His love,
Oh, be careful little eyes what you see.

Where I heard this childhood song to get it stuck in my head, I have no idea. I can assure you, it isn’t a tune on Rock Band. But never mind. It is stuck in there for real, for sure and I’m afraid, for good. I seriously can’t shake it.

So as in anytime something like this pops up “randomly” in my head, and after a solid week of it NOT going away, I have finally started clueing in to the fact that Someone just might be trying to get my attention through this simple song. After a few circumstances, a little less eggnog and a couple of gentle nudges from the Holy Spirit, I think I’ve come up with my answer.

Vigilance.

Let me explain.

Not long ago, I entered into the wonderful world of Facebook. (If you are one of the 2 people in the world who haven’t heard of Facebook, it is an Internet social network that allows you to connect with people anywhere, anytime.) I honestly knew very little about it when I started, and up until my husband decided to join up, I never did much with it. But in the past two or three months, I have enjoyed re-connecting with childhood friends, high school friends, college friends, and my current network of friends by sharing emails and pictures, as well as fun information about my life. For a pastor’s daughter who has lived in over 10 states in my life, a tool like Facebook has been an awesome way to talk to people again that I might never otherwise get the chance to.

I even found my favorite high school history teacher on there. :)

But lately I’ve begun to notice something about this fun tool. I’ve seen it's likes before in blogland…in shopping malls…restaurants…and yes, even in my mirror at home. And I just can't shake the fear that it is carrying with it the potential to get us, as believers, in trouble.

A tool of distraction.

A means of addiction.

A way of escape.

A fulfillment of needs not otherwise getting met.

A huge time waster.

A facilitator of pretense vs. reality.

I have, of late, really seen this. Where meeting old friends and reconnecting with loved ones is a super cool thing, reconnecting with loved ones and meeting new friends to the detriment of a marriage is not. Nor is it a stretch to say that it’s happening. Sadly, it’s happening and happening a lot.

But this blog is actually not about Facebook.

In fact, you might be surprised to know that upon finishing this blog I do not plan on canceling my Facebook membership or cutting my Facebook ties. No, I am staying on Facebook, at least for the time being. But I am also doing something else.

I am remembering the words to that simple little song that is stuck in my mind, like it or not…”Oh, be careful little eyes what you see...” I am also remembering its three subsequent verses (in no particular order)...

Oh, be careful little feet, where you go…

Oh, be careful little lips, what you say…

Oh, be careful little hands, what you do…

Whether on Facebook or at church or in my neighborhood or in my ministry…

I am checking myself constantly. Praying about my actions. Making sure that my life stays pure before God through the relationships I invest in. Being careful of what my eyes see. My ears hear. My lips say. My hands do.

Vigilance.

I simply have to have it to stay out of trouble.

By this Monday morning Not a Facebook Bashing Blog I am hoping to encourage you to do the same. In fact, I'm burdened for us both this year, if we don't.

Be well, friends. Whether we connect on Facebook or on the streets of our "non-cyber world"...let’s be well together.

I'm Sure I Don't Know

Good Monday Morning, Friends!

I hope and trust all of you had a wonderful Christmas, as did I. Many pieces of fudge and several undeserving gifts later, I, for one, am worn out! :)

I have missed you, my Yes to God girlfriends, since our Bible Study concluded a few weeks ago and have been meaning to tell you just how much! Thank you for your love and well wishes over the holidays. I thought of you and look forward to getting back to visiting your blogs soon to see where God is taking you on your “get real” journey. Please know I haven’t forgotten the time we shared! :)

With prayer and discipline, I plan to get back to my normalcy with blogging what is on my heart, at least once a week, in 2009. This morning I find myself with a deadline for my article in Connection Magazine (www.womenoffaith.com) upon me, so this post will need to be brief in order for me to meet it!

Every month in the coming year, Connection has a theme – all centered on your relationship with someone. The copy I am working on has a theme of Your Relationship with God. I have to admit that it has had me a little stumped for direction. To me, the subject is wider, deeper and broader than I can write about in 1500 words. So I have been praying about what direction to take.

After several weeks of contemplation and asking for opinions from others, I’ve settled on the Hebrews 4:15 approach with a title of “My Cul-de-sac Jesus: Doing Life with a Personal God.” In thinking about all the aspects of my relationship with God, the fact that He is a very personal God who is intimately aware, concerned, and involved with my everyday life and circumstances is among what I most appreciate. Many of us grew up with ideas of who God was – many of us were taught something about Him. But as we all know by now, who we think God is, at some point in life, has to become personal. Especially in the midst of our trying and painful times.

Of all the things I don't know, one thing I’m sure of is that I can't anticipate what the new year of 2009 will bring. I think I’m pretty safe to assume that none of us can. We may think we have it figured out in some way, but life is never-always sure, fair, and predictable. Just this week, two of my friends in two different circles of life both emailed me to tell me their husband no longer loves them and has asked for a divorce. One friend was rushed to the hospital one week ago, only to determine she had Leukemia and was thought to have only 2-4 weeks to live. It wasn’t long ago that all of these friends thought they had their future figured out, too.

So knowing that God is near…present…and involved in my life is something I need to take with me into 2009, a year that is sure to bring unpredictability. I’m thankful, today, that in this life I do not have to go it alone, but rather, I have access to a very personal God who lives with me – not just in my mind – but in my heart and on my cul-de-sac.

An Open Letter to a Christmas Angel

Dear Marcia,

You didn’t even notice me today. I’m sure of it. Because if you had, I know you would have sent a smile my way. You’ve done it many times before when I have been in your store.

Standing nearby, you probably thought I was simply printing off pictures at the nifty little Kodak kiosk in front of your register. I was, but that wasn’t all I was doing. I was also watching you.

I watched you smile at every customer you serviced. Some of them, I’m sure, were strangers to you. Others, I could tell, were acquaintances; many of whom had undoubtedly become your friends through frequent stop-ins for a few forgotten necessities. Regardless, you treated them all the same. Warm. Friendly. Accommodating. Important.

I watched as you helped a woman use her debit card in the machine, turning it the right way to make it go in, quickly and quietly, so as not to embarrass her. I watched as you threw your head back and laughed when your co-worker whispered something in your ear that probably wasn’t even all that funny. I watched as you limped over in your signature fashion to Aisle One to retrieve an item for a customer in a hurry, too busy to be bothered with finding something themselves.

Just when I was about to stop watching, she came up to your counter. Frail and elderly, she reeked of smoke…so much so that I at first turned my head to catch a clean breath. The chair that housed her doubled as her shopping cart, with her purchases resting safely between her feet. Her face held more lines than I had seen on anyone, ever before.

Ironically, she came to you, asking for a moisturizer of a specific kind. She wanted to buy it, she said, for comfort, not for vanity, because at her age, who would notice? You smiled and then looked, but didn’t find it. Then you did something you didn’t have to do.

You picked up the phone and dialed a number. It was the Rite Aid across the street, a competitor of your employer. You asked the person on the other end if they had the product, and then you hung up the phone with a satisfied smile.

Yes, they had what she was looking for, you told your customer. Clearly sensing her hesitation, you asked her if she was ok…how she would get there…and if she had a car. But you didn’t stop there.

When she replied that her car was nearly out of gas, you made a suggestion that I was not prepared to hear. You gently, but firmly told her that you were going across the street to get it for her. When she said she was planning to use her debit card for the purchase, you told her that you would pay for the item and she could simply pay you back. Listening to you talk, I almost could not believe my ears. I waited to see if you would really go through with it. As I believed you would, you did. Even though the store was busy and people were waiting. Even though you hadn't yet asked your boss if you could. You didn’t even hesitate.

I have seen and heard a lot of things this holiday season. A busy shopper accidentally bumping into a woman standing too close. A baby crying, tired and anxious from all the over stimulation of seasonal hustle and bustle. The familiar sounds of Christmas carols and bell ringers from the Salvation Army. The excited child giggling with her friend, waiting in line to sit on Santa’s lap and make her requests.

But what I saw and heard today was among the sweetest of all Christmas sounds. It was the sight of a woman who cared. It was the sound of a woman who served. It was the picture of what “loving your neighbor” looks like. It was a reminder to me that not everyone in the world is a taker…there is such thing as customer service…and not everyone just looks out for #1.

I came to your store to finish up my Christmas shopping. But what I got when I came was much more meaningful than any gift I could buy, wrap and place under my tree.

I got to see love, in action. Care, in motion. Concern, in full bloom.

You could have stopped being accommodating at any point. And even then, you would have still been a nice person who did her job well. But instead, you chose to love, care and concern yourself with a person who was in need. You saw that need and responded. You went above and beyond what was written in your employee handbook.

And all the while, a girl who was printing off pictures at the nifty little kiosk in front of your register was watching. You weren’t trying to impress me. And really, you didn’t. Instead, you did something much more significant.

Marcia, you blessed me.

And so, today, I say thank you. Thank you for getting involved in a life. Caring for a stranger. And reminding me that love is much more sweet when you give it away.

Now may God bless you, Christmas angel. He was watching, too.