A Shout-Out to Some Rockin' Girls!

I had the privilege of meeting some of the awesome girls from Southbrook Church today who are doing a study of my book, The 7 Hardest Things God Asks a Woman to Do. My friend, Mel, (who is a fantastic writer and with P31, by the way!) invited me to come and share with them, and I was so happy to have an excuse to wash my hair and get dressed and hop over to the south side of town to make some new friends.

Thanks, Mel, for inviting me to come! Loved it…and you. :)

Girls, I so enjoyed hanging out with you and spending a few minutes chatting. I felt such a warm, welcome spirit among you, and I heard your heart and share your desire to know God. Please know that I pray for you every Wednesday morning as you are meeting for Bible study! I love that we are on this journey together, and I look forward to being with you again in the future. Don’t forget the 1 thing, ok?

I will post about those eyes of a different kind on Friday. (If you have no idea what I’m talking about, please see Monday’s post.) And check back with me on Monday for another great book give-away from my friend and author, Paula Rinehart!

Oh, and did I mention that we got TP’d the other night? A picture of the decorated house, for your viewing pleasure…

Lisa :)

Old Green Eyes (Jealousy -- Part 1)

I recently got an email that went like this…

“Hi. You don’t know me, but I visited your website after reading one of your devotionals on Crosswalk.com. I have nearly stopped reading devotionals by Christian writers because all they do is make me feel really jealous of the person writing them. What I see when I read them is a person who has so much more than I do, and it makes me hate myself even more. I don’t know why I am even writing this. I’m sure you don’t care, since you have it all together. But I just wish I wouldn’t feel this way. Thanks.”

What I read in that email didn’t shock me. It didn’t upset me. It didn’t even surprise me. What I read were the words of someone who was able to be honest enough with herself and others to admit that she was, in fact, feeling jealous...the naked, ugly truth of womanhood that we all wish was not true. But girls, you and I both know...it is. And I respect this woman immensely for admitting it.

If only I could let her know “untogether” I really am. Though I don’t know that it would even matter if I did.

The truth is that even after all these years, we, as women, are still sporting green eyes of jealousy. They come out now, at times when we least expect them to: when visiting a beautifully-furnished friend’s house...when standing on the sidelines at our child’s soccer game, hearing the woman next to us cheering for her star athlete, son...or even, sitting at church on Sunday, listening to a petite woman with an angelic voice sing in praise to God. Well into our adult years, it’s no longer about who made the cheerleading squad or who has the cuter boyfriend -- now the stakes are abundantly higher. Now it’s about whose husband makes more money...who has the better car...who has the smarter child/cuter child...who has a better body after kids...or who has a more brag-able hobby, pastime or career. Our self worth is starving for a significant something to hang onto, and we resent those who seem to have drawn better cards in life than we have.

Christian circles are some of the most dangerous, yet prevalent places for it to happen. It is almost too horrible to admit that we might be jealous of someone doing God’s work. How could we resent someone God is using for His glory? But just as this email friend shared with me, sometimes we are. And that is a foothold that Satan loves to have on us, perhaps more than any other.

This jealousy thing isn’t new to our era, by the way. Look no further than the book of Genesis to read about two famously jealous sisters in the story of Rachel and Leah. In chapters 29-30, the envy of both of the sisters is highlighted, in one of the most memorable stories in Scripture. Though Jacob was initially tricked into marrying Leah, the less physically desirable sister, her sister, Rachel, eventually snagged the same man. Intensely jealous of Leah’s ability to have children when she herself could not conceive, Rachel resented Leah. In turn, because Jacob loved and desired Rachel more than Leah, Leah envied her sister’s ability to receive the affection she, herself, craved from her husband. The results of both sisters’ jealousy undoubtedly made for a combustible combination for all three of them! Can you imagine living under that awkward roof?

Women, if we want to begin to truly live authentically "real" lives, we have to lay aside our jealousies of others and embrace the person God has created us to be. Make no mistake about it...we all struggle. Perfection is a mirage, and we are all fallen and flawed women. Our self-worth can only be found in the loving and welcoming arms of our Father, Jesus Christ. Any other place will not satisfy us enough to get us through a difficult day, painful circumstance or insecure feeling. And it will certainly never allow us to cheer for our Christian sisters when God blesses them as He sees fit.

Being honest about the issue of jealousy is the first step in allowing God to clean out our closets full of envy and resentment. And I don’t know about you, but I could use a good closet cleaning these days!

Challenge Verse:
“A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones.” Proverbs 14:30 (NLT)

Challenge Questions:
1) Do I know who God created me to be? Do I live with that purpose in mind?

2) Can I truly “cheer” for others when they succeed? Does my heart attitude match what I portray to others?

3) Am I focusing on self…or on serving God? How?

Now What?
It is hugely important to know where God has gifted you and where He wants to use you for His honor and glory. Trying to be someone else is a huge waste of time and effort, and so is wanting what others have. Take the focus off yourself by getting involved in the needs of others. Ask God to show you where He wants you to serve, and get busy doing just that!

Lisa

P.S. In case you're wondering...my advice to the girlfriend who wrote that email? Stop reading devotionals. Yep, I really said it. If you're interested, I posted something about it on 9/17/07, Back to the Beginning. The gist? You don't need an outside source to hear directly from God.

I’ll be posting again this week on eyes of a completely different kind. Please check back with me on Wednesday or Thursday for that post. I am posting my “get real” series on Mondays, but I usually have other things to chat about during the week, as well. Whenever you visit, thanks for tuning in. :)

Double Digits!

To satisfy my out-of-town family members who are interested, and because I am in a bit of a nostalgic mood, here is a picture of me with my beloved firstborn...my son...who turned 10 this week. We celebrated today with a party at Laser Quest, one of his favorite places!

Love that boy. His haircut, not so much. But love, love, love him.

Thanks for making me a mom for the first time 10 years ago, G-man. I have been celebrating since the day you were born.

Ok...maybe not on that exact day. I was still suffering from pain in areas I’d rather not identify. Or for the first 4 months when you didn’t sleep or eat well. Or when you drew a cute smiley face on the wall in permanent marker...and on your dad’s laptop.

But you get the picture.

I am crazy in love with all my kids and this handsome and responsible 4th grader is the biological leader of that pack.

Some days it’s tough, but I do love being a mom.

Thanks for letting me act like one with this post!

More on Monday.

Lisa :)

Two Updates and An "Ouch!"

There’s nothing I dislike more than when someone leaves you hanging. You know, like when a friend says they need to talk to you about something and then they get distracted or interrupted. Or when someone tells you a story but you never find out how the story ends for one reason or another.

Cliffhangers just aren’t my thing, ya’ll.

So it dawned on me that I am quickly becoming part of that “forgot to fill you in” club. Not that any of you are wondering, but just in case you are (and so I don’t become a source of anyone’s “cliffhanger frustration”), let me update you on a couple of things I have recently been blogging about. Oh, and just for good measure, I’m throwing in one great big old “ouchy” truth that I have recently been reminded of.

Just...well...'cause. :)

First, the Biggest Loser Couples Weight-Loss Challenge is still underway. Yes, the blue team is still moving forward, though (alas!) a few of our friends have found life’s everyday challenges to be challenging enough and are no longer competing against us. (sniff, sniff) But don’t be too sad for them as one couple is leaving for a vacation in Hawaii next week for an early anniversary trip. (With the tropics on their mind, it’s no small wonder that the allure of a weekend trip to Myrtle Beach didn’t quite propel them forward with the challenge. :))

As for me, I am still holding steady between the 5 - 7 pound weight loss mark, thus fulfilling my prediction that I would lose weight rather slowly. Still, I would prefer a bit faster than a snail's pace! My hubby who doesn’t love to diet is also doing well, having lost upwards of 10 pounds. His torture of choice? Hitting the treadmill at top speed for about 45 minutes. That man can’t diet, but boy can he run! I, on the other hand, am a bit running challenged.

Overall, things are going well. Though the challenge has fallen a bit apart, my determination level for better eating habits and fitting into my jeans, thankfully, has not. I still have about 15 pounds to lose to be at a weight that is compatible with most of the clothes in my closet. Gonna do it...and...have to do it!

The “have to do it” part of my weight loss goal ties in perfectly with my second update. As some of you know from a previous post, my husband and I are also teaming up for another quite interesting challenge. Basically, we are “fasting” from “want” items for 6 months. We are not buying anything that is not an absolute necessity or a “need” until July. (You can go back and read the December 24th post for more on this.) This conviction started with my husband and finally made its way to me in late December.

It’s been really great and freeing, in a way. I am becoming more aware of what I purchase, for one thing. On a recent trip to the grocery store, I bought a Weight Watchers magazine for a girlfriend of mine and then threw another one in the cart for me, as well. It wasn’t until I got home that I thought about the fact that I had just purchased a “want” and not a “need.” In the past, I would not have thought twice about it, as buying a magazine is often a routine purchase for me. But because of the “fast” we are on, the $3.50 I plunked down on a magazine I could borrow from my friend after she was through with it suddenly didn’t make a bit of good financial sense. Maybe a new way of thinking is emerging for me, after all.

The other thing the fast has done is made me less eager to go to the mall…or TJ Maxx…or Target. I really can’t “look” anymore (well, I could, but why the torture?), so some of the joy has been taken out of going to my favorite shops. As a result, I have added a few more minutes to some of my days. And like all of you, I can sure use them!

So, the fast has thus far been great. Of course, ask me how I’m feeling around Easter when I don’t get to go shop for a new outfit! But that’s ok. I’ll feel like I’m wearing a new outfit when I can actually fit into an old one residing in the recesses of my closet! It’s kind of a two-for-one deal with my two updates. I have to lose weight to fit into the clothes in my closet because I can no longer medicate my feelings of wanting to look cute by purchasing a “want” item to wear! Funny how that insecurity thing works, isn’t it?

(And on that note, a perfect seg-way into my bonus “ouchy” moment has emerged! While I don’t love cliffhangers, I do love great seg-ways! :))

So, speaking of clothes…

I was talking recently with a friend who was faced with a most uncomfortable situation when a good friend of hers made a statement to her about wanting to sign her up for a makeover show. Although she knew her friend meant no real harm, it was hurtful to her, and not just because it was a bit insensitive. It was also because it hit a nerve with her because she knew it was, on some level, the truth.

Doggone it, why does the truth have to hurt so much sometimes?

Her situation led me to think of my own moment of “truth” that hurt like crazy. A few years ago, a very well meaning friend of mine gave me some beautiful clothes from her very own closet. It would have been great, had it not been for the fact that she gave them to me because she could no longer wear them at her newly svelte size. She had been dieting and lost down to a size my rear end did not yet know. Therefore, I inherited the beautiful “chubby clothes” out of her very own closet from my very well intentioned friend.

Ouch. While the clothes were nice, the truth that accompanied them really hurt.

The moral of this very “ouchy” moment is when you have lost some weight, please do not give your “chubby” clothes to a close friend. They will simply not appreciate it like you think they will. Good Will is a really good option, and there will be no residual effects of your kind gesture. :)

Oh…and the real moral of the story? Sometimes the truth really hurts.

Just thinking about it brings on a bit of a twinge. Too bad I can’t run out and buy a new outfit to make me feel better.

Lisa :)

Big Boats and Undertows (Fear -- Part 3)

The beach is one of my favorite places on earth to be. I don’t like the sand so much, especially now with three small children and all they can do with it. But I love the water. I love to hear its mighty roar as it crashes onto shore. And I love to watch my children play in it, laughing and splashing while they try to “outrun” the waves.

Several years ago, my husband, Scott, and I took Graham, our only child at the time, to the beach for a few days. He was excited to get there and play, and I was anxious to rest my eight-months-pregnant feet on the soft sand while my husband and child got some daddy-son time. I had only watched them for a few minutes before drifting off to sleep in my brightly-colored beach chair. I didn’t see the events of the next few minutes, but my husband remembers them quite vividly.

The beach we were visiting was right on an intracoastal water way. The enormous cargo boats would pass by at a certain point everyday. And for a two-year-old child, the “great big boat” was possibly the neatest thing he had ever seen in his young life. Graham was ecstatic. Wook, Daddy, he said. See the big boat? My husband smiled as he replied back. Yes, buddy. I see it. He was thrilled to share the moment with his awestruck son.

Pretty soon, Scott noticed that the undertow was starting to pull them out a little farther than he felt comfortable going. The power of the big boat had made quite an impact on the ocean water. While Graham continued to play, my husband became afraid.

Let’s go back in, closer to Mommy, okay? His anxiety was intensifying, as the subtle tug of water got stronger. As a young naïve child, Graham was oblivious. Soon Daddy’s words became commanding. Come on, big guy. It’s time to go in now. Hold on to me, and I’ll carry you back to the shore. With that he scooped up our son, Graham, with his little arms wrapped around his neck. He was holding on to his daddy, and his daddy was holding on to him. Nothing or no one could have come between them.

Life is unpredictable, and dangers loom closer than we sometimes may think. Undertows can sweep our feet out from under us without warning at any time. But our God is ready, willing, and able to scoop us up into his arms, His mighty arms, and carry us to a place of shelter, safety and ultimate security. He is our source, the only one we need, to rid us of all our deep anxieties and concerns. We must rely on Him, and Him alone, to save us.

I learned a verse when I was a young child: “But when I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” It started out as just one of my weekly verses my mother made me memorize to get a star on my “good behavior chart.” But over the years, Psalm 56:3 came to mean so much more.

As a child, I would recall this verse whenever I started to feel scared because it was dark or if I’d had a bad dream. I said it when I heard a noise or if I imagined a “bad guy” in my room. It helped me go back to sleep feeling less afraid. With years of life now under my belt and young children of my own, I am still quoting this verse. Gone are the days of the boogeyman under the bed, but I still get scared. I get scared about my health. I get scared for my children. I get scared about what tomorrow holds. And when I do, I recite those eleven precious and inspired words that seem as though they were written just for me. They help me not to be so afraid when the darkness comes.

When you are facing your fear, whatever it is, God is asking you to hold on to him. He in turn will hold on to you. And nothing and no one will ever come between you.

(*Excerpt taken from “The Seven Hardest Things God Asks a Woman to Do,” Shepherd Press 2007)

Challenge Verse: “But when I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Psalm 56:3

Challenge Questions:
~ Are your fears interfering with your relationship with God? In what way(s)?
~ Do you have a fear that stifles what God wants to do through you?
~ Do you ever advise others to “not be afraid” or “trust God” but then don’t apply that to your own life?

Now what?
1) Submit yourself to the scrutiny of the Lord and ask him to show you the areas of your life that are controlled by fear.
2) Write them down and pray over each one, claiming the victory in your life by the power of God over every area.

Trust is a big issue for most women. Whether or not we have been taken advantage of, stepped on, betrayed or belittled, we have a difficult time making ourselves completely vulnerable with others. We need to take inventory of our soul and make sure that we truly believe that God can be trusted with our life. In order to overcome our fears, we must be willing to relinquish control over the areas that concern us.

My next “get real” topic for 2008 will be on Monday, February 4. I hope you’ll come back as we delve into female friendships and what is the biggest threat to our relationships with other women. Get ready, girls…it goes there! In the meantime, I’m sure I’ll have something else to post during the week!

Journeying through this fear thing with you,
Lisa :)

The One Thing You Need to Know (to get you through the hard times)...oh, and the winner, too!

I’ve enjoyed reading through your comments and what you think the hardest things in life are. If I wrap them all up, the themes I hear you saying are -- waiting on God…relinquishing control…dying to self…letting go of fear…trust…trying to manage many tasks in front of you…and submission in a marriage role. These are all at the top of my list, too! Great insights.

Oh, and childbirth, and PMS, too! (Oh, Amy…I can relate! Even right now as I write this post, actually! I know, I know...TMI. :))

When Mom and I wrote the book, we wanted it to apply to every woman, everywhere. We didn’t want to write it just for married women or moms, though that is what both of us are. We didn’t want to leave a certain part of the population out based on their current circumstance or religious background or season of life. That is why I talked about it being less “topical” than you might think. Though many of us go through difficult circumstances such as divorce, the loss of something or someone, infidelity and infertility, these tough situations reside inside a broader spiritual issue to deal with. Our circumstances in life may look different, but there are some things as believers that unite all of us in our struggle through life. That is where we got the 7 Hardest Things.

You can read the entire “birthing” process in the forward of the book.

Though it is difficult to live life in this day and time, others faced hard things long before we ever came along. Some of our favorite Bible heroes and heroines dealt with the most difficult circumstances anyone could ever face. Esther…going before the king. Hannah…first facing infertility, then giving up her son. Noah…building the ark. Daniel…in the lion’s den. David…against Goliath. Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego…in the fiery furnace. The list could go on and on. These amazing men and women of the Bible knew the one thing they needed to know to get through those hard times. And it’s the same thing you and I need to know today to get through ours.

It’s not that life will always be fair.

It’s not that you will never have heartache or pain.

It’s not that you will always understand the things you go through or never question why.

The one thing you need to know to get you through those hard times is that though they will be difficult, God will be with you. He won’t leave you hanging.

That is the message of the book.

“But even there, if you seek GOD, your God, you'll be able to find him if you're serious, looking for him with your whole heart and soul. When troubles come and all these awful things happen to you, in future days you will come back to GOD, your God, and listen obediently to what he says. GOD, your God, is above all a compassionate God. In the end he will not abandon you, he won't bring you to ruin…” (Deut. 4:29-31 The Message)

The 7 Hardest Things God Asks a Woman to Do are…
~To multi-task while having a single focus on God.
~To be tolerant of some things while intolerant of others.
~To allow yourself to fail and allow yourself to succeed.
~To wait and yet, proceed.
~To hold on and to let go.
~To lead and also follow.
~To die and yet, live.

As you can see, these 7 things are really 14 things, as each chapter has two things that we have to deal with that make it doubly hard to do either one! But as you will see when you read the book, there is a central theme in each hard thing that ties in with its seemingly contradictory counterpart. And every one of the things you mentioned in your comments falls under at least one of these 7 “hardest things.” This book can be used as a Bible Study, and it facilitates lots of great discussion on each subject.

Please know this…my hardest thing may not be your hardest thing. And your hardest thing won’t be someone else’s hard thing. But regardless of your past, present, or future difficult circumstance, remember the one thing you need to know to make it through: that God will be with you. He is with you today…and everyday! I don’t know about you, but for me, that makes enduring the hard things in life “endurable.” From waiting on God to surrendering control…to having PMS. :)

Oh…and the winner of the book is…Susan!

(Though one of you “guessed” all of them and got them right, it was not without a little help from google. :) So…I disqualified you. In the name of the Lord, of course. :) And girl, I still love ya! :))

Susan got 5 out of the 7 right, so I will be sending the book her way! Just email me your address, Susan, at lwhittle@juno.com, and I will get it in the mail to you.

Thanks, ladies, for all your responses and for playing along! If you want a copy of the book, please feel free to go to amazon.com or christianbook.com or shepherdpress.com. Any online bookstore will carry it. Or check with your local Christian bookstore. If they don’t have it, ask them to order it for you!

Journeying through the hard things with you,
Lisa :)

Win a free book!

Some of you have asked me about my book, The 7 Hardest Things God Asks a Woman to Do, released last March. I am honored you are interested in hearing about it and am happy to share!

Invariably, when someone finds out the title of the book, they are intrigued by the title and want to try to guess what the 7 hardest things are! So…I thought I would make it fun and interesting and see what a few of you think they are by offering to give out a free copy of the book to one of you.

If you want to enter to win, just leave a comment with what you think at least 1 of the 7 is(or as many as you can come up with), or what the hardest thing God asks you to do is, and you will be entered!

I will give you a hint. They ARE NOT what you may initially think, and none of the 7 is childbirth! (Though I lobbied to put that one in. :)) Think a bit less topical and relatable to all women.

I will announce the winner on my blog on Friday.

I am also including this 2 ½ minute video clip of me sharing about the message of the book. If you take the time to watch it, you just may have a bit of an advantage in guessing. Listen closely for a few key words and phrases! If you aren't interested in winning the book, the video will give you some insight into what the book is all about.

See you Friday!

Lisa :)