I'm Sure I Don't Know

Good Monday Morning, Friends!

I hope and trust all of you had a wonderful Christmas, as did I. Many pieces of fudge and several undeserving gifts later, I, for one, am worn out! :)

I have missed you, my Yes to God girlfriends, since our Bible Study concluded a few weeks ago and have been meaning to tell you just how much! Thank you for your love and well wishes over the holidays. I thought of you and look forward to getting back to visiting your blogs soon to see where God is taking you on your “get real” journey. Please know I haven’t forgotten the time we shared! :)

With prayer and discipline, I plan to get back to my normalcy with blogging what is on my heart, at least once a week, in 2009. This morning I find myself with a deadline for my article in Connection Magazine (www.womenoffaith.com) upon me, so this post will need to be brief in order for me to meet it!

Every month in the coming year, Connection has a theme – all centered on your relationship with someone. The copy I am working on has a theme of Your Relationship with God. I have to admit that it has had me a little stumped for direction. To me, the subject is wider, deeper and broader than I can write about in 1500 words. So I have been praying about what direction to take.

After several weeks of contemplation and asking for opinions from others, I’ve settled on the Hebrews 4:15 approach with a title of “My Cul-de-sac Jesus: Doing Life with a Personal God.” In thinking about all the aspects of my relationship with God, the fact that He is a very personal God who is intimately aware, concerned, and involved with my everyday life and circumstances is among what I most appreciate. Many of us grew up with ideas of who God was – many of us were taught something about Him. But as we all know by now, who we think God is, at some point in life, has to become personal. Especially in the midst of our trying and painful times.

Of all the things I don't know, one thing I’m sure of is that I can't anticipate what the new year of 2009 will bring. I think I’m pretty safe to assume that none of us can. We may think we have it figured out in some way, but life is never-always sure, fair, and predictable. Just this week, two of my friends in two different circles of life both emailed me to tell me their husband no longer loves them and has asked for a divorce. One friend was rushed to the hospital one week ago, only to determine she had Leukemia and was thought to have only 2-4 weeks to live. It wasn’t long ago that all of these friends thought they had their future figured out, too.

So knowing that God is near…present…and involved in my life is something I need to take with me into 2009, a year that is sure to bring unpredictability. I’m thankful, today, that in this life I do not have to go it alone, but rather, I have access to a very personal God who lives with me – not just in my mind – but in my heart and on my cul-de-sac.

An Open Letter to a Christmas Angel

Dear Marcia,

You didn’t even notice me today. I’m sure of it. Because if you had, I know you would have sent a smile my way. You’ve done it many times before when I have been in your store.

Standing nearby, you probably thought I was simply printing off pictures at the nifty little Kodak kiosk in front of your register. I was, but that wasn’t all I was doing. I was also watching you.

I watched you smile at every customer you serviced. Some of them, I’m sure, were strangers to you. Others, I could tell, were acquaintances; many of whom had undoubtedly become your friends through frequent stop-ins for a few forgotten necessities. Regardless, you treated them all the same. Warm. Friendly. Accommodating. Important.

I watched as you helped a woman use her debit card in the machine, turning it the right way to make it go in, quickly and quietly, so as not to embarrass her. I watched as you threw your head back and laughed when your co-worker whispered something in your ear that probably wasn’t even all that funny. I watched as you limped over in your signature fashion to Aisle One to retrieve an item for a customer in a hurry, too busy to be bothered with finding something themselves.

Just when I was about to stop watching, she came up to your counter. Frail and elderly, she reeked of smoke…so much so that I at first turned my head to catch a clean breath. The chair that housed her doubled as her shopping cart, with her purchases resting safely between her feet. Her face held more lines than I had seen on anyone, ever before.

Ironically, she came to you, asking for a moisturizer of a specific kind. She wanted to buy it, she said, for comfort, not for vanity, because at her age, who would notice? You smiled and then looked, but didn’t find it. Then you did something you didn’t have to do.

You picked up the phone and dialed a number. It was the Rite Aid across the street, a competitor of your employer. You asked the person on the other end if they had the product, and then you hung up the phone with a satisfied smile.

Yes, they had what she was looking for, you told your customer. Clearly sensing her hesitation, you asked her if she was ok…how she would get there…and if she had a car. But you didn’t stop there.

When she replied that her car was nearly out of gas, you made a suggestion that I was not prepared to hear. You gently, but firmly told her that you were going across the street to get it for her. When she said she was planning to use her debit card for the purchase, you told her that you would pay for the item and she could simply pay you back. Listening to you talk, I almost could not believe my ears. I waited to see if you would really go through with it. As I believed you would, you did. Even though the store was busy and people were waiting. Even though you hadn't yet asked your boss if you could. You didn’t even hesitate.

I have seen and heard a lot of things this holiday season. A busy shopper accidentally bumping into a woman standing too close. A baby crying, tired and anxious from all the over stimulation of seasonal hustle and bustle. The familiar sounds of Christmas carols and bell ringers from the Salvation Army. The excited child giggling with her friend, waiting in line to sit on Santa’s lap and make her requests.

But what I saw and heard today was among the sweetest of all Christmas sounds. It was the sight of a woman who cared. It was the sound of a woman who served. It was the picture of what “loving your neighbor” looks like. It was a reminder to me that not everyone in the world is a taker…there is such thing as customer service…and not everyone just looks out for #1.

I came to your store to finish up my Christmas shopping. But what I got when I came was much more meaningful than any gift I could buy, wrap and place under my tree.

I got to see love, in action. Care, in motion. Concern, in full bloom.

You could have stopped being accommodating at any point. And even then, you would have still been a nice person who did her job well. But instead, you chose to love, care and concern yourself with a person who was in need. You saw that need and responded. You went above and beyond what was written in your employee handbook.

And all the while, a girl who was printing off pictures at the nifty little kiosk in front of your register was watching. You weren’t trying to impress me. And really, you didn’t. Instead, you did something much more significant.

Marcia, you blessed me.

And so, today, I say thank you. Thank you for getting involved in a life. Caring for a stranger. And reminding me that love is much more sweet when you give it away.

Now may God bless you, Christmas angel. He was watching, too.

A Much Needed Pause

I learned two key things last weekend.

1)In the midst of real life with real issues and real struggles, God is gracious to give us beautiful moments to enjoy.

2)My husband is a really good sport.

I’ll get back to number one in a minute, but since I know you are waiting with baited breath to see my husband in a reindeer costume, I won’t make you wait any longer. I think you’ll agree with my point number two after seeing this picture…





















My cute hubby, a.k.a. Cupid, is pictured here on the right with his friend and co-hort, Mike (a.k.a. Comet), at our 2nd annual Whittle Class Christmas Party. These two are notorious for showing up in costume, no matter what our class event is. Last year, they appeared as Santa and his favorite elf. Before I show the picture to remind you, let me add here, unequivocally, that grown men should never, ever wear tights or beaded tunics. Ever.





















But back to the reindeer costume. My girlfriend (Comet’s wife) and I nearly wet our pants while we were making the costumes. I’m afraid I may need some counseling for how much pleasure I took in pinning a spraypainted swiffer pad to the back of the boy's pants to serve as the “tail.”














Yes, my hubby is a good sport. He may drive me nuts with his lame attempt at rapping and he might be the biggest procrastinator I have ever met, but anyone who lets his wife dress him up in women’s brown stretch pants and reindeer headgear is a good man. Or at least, a man with a really healthy self-esteem who knows how not to take himself too seriously and have a good time. He is also the fearless leader of our nearly 200 member class and he brings the Word to us every week in a dynamic and relevant way! (I’m grateful to say, not in a reindeer costume, though.) Can you tell I’m a fan? :)

But enough about number two.

Last weekend I also learned something else. Well, not really learned, as it was something I already knew. And that is, that in the midst of life and all its struggles, God reminded me of how very good He is to give us those little “nuggets” to enjoy.

This was one of those such nuggets.


Last Saturday was our 4th annual trip to the mountains to chop down a Christmas tree. I have to admit that the pragmatist in me resists this tradition every year when it rolls around. But while both my husband and I are tempted to go two miles down the road and buy a pre-cut tree for our family to enjoy, our children’s joy in this special yearly tradition keeps us paying the gas money, driving the 4-hour round trip and risking life and limb to climb with a saw and a stick in search of the perfect tree.

But the fun doesn’t stop there.

As has been our tradition for the past 4 years, “Comet” and his family always go along with us. For the past two years we have rented a van and ridden together to ensure the full Griswold experience. And this year was no exception. On Saturday morning we all piled into a 15-passenger van and set out on our tree chopping excursion. 4 adults, 7 kids and 2 small dogs.

We knew it would be fun. We knew it would be loud. We knew it would cost more than we should spend, in both time and money. But we knew it would be well worth it, just for the experience.

What we didn’t know is that just as we would make our way up the mountain, a light dusting of snow would appear and cover the road beneath us. It’s presence incited lots of “oohs” and “aahs” from the kids, and a few from us, as well.

And as I got to the top of the mountain and looked down around me at all the beauty my eyes could behold, I felt really grateful for the moment. 7 kids swirling around. 2 dogs sniffing their surroundings. Great friends. Majestic trees. A borrowed hat and gloves to keep my hands warm. A light dusting of snow to quite literally cap it all off.

In that moment, I didn’t forget that the mortgage was due and that life is not perfect. Nor did I forget that the pressure to sell more books and speak more places awaited me at home, as did the three loads of laundry sitting on my laundry room floor. But I did feel grateful to God for those moments in life that He gives to bring us pleasure and joy, despite all the rest.

The simple reprieves. A quiet pause. A moment to exhale or maybe one to take it all in. Reasons to be grateful in a very temporary world that He has dropped us in for a little while. Beautiful moments in life to enjoy.

On this particular day, it was with 1 "reindeer-ish" husband, 3 irresistable offspring, and a really amazing view.

Calling all Praying Friends

Hi friends!
I intended to post today about my weekend Christmas party and trip to the mountains, but I'm afraid the pictures of my husband in a reindeer costume are gonna have to wait until Monday. Believe me, they are worth coming back for! :)

On a much more serious and important note, I am writing tonight to ask for you to pray.

Some of you may remember THIS POST I wrote back in April about our friend, Kris Lawing. If you didn't, please go back and read that post now, as I think it will stir your heart to pray for him. Kris is a 37 year old with lung cancer, diagnosed less than a year ago after never having smoked and a track record of near perfect health. Even more complicated, his lung cancer had spread to places in his brain before it was initially detected. He has a sweet wife and a little 7 year old boy. Needless to say, it has been a tough 9months for his family since his diagnosis.

Kris had a body scan two days ago and it showed two new spots in addition to a spot they were watching. Not only did that spot not go away, but now these two spots have appeared. They are quite sure it is "disease." Obviously, the family is devastated by the news. He will begin chemo again after the holidays.

So...I am asking for your prayers. Kris and his family need them. I know you are praying friends, and that is why I am coming to you! God hasn't "left the building," and He very much wants us to access Him through our prayers!

On behalf of Kris and his family...thank you.

Worth Repeating

Just a few days ago, I was lamenting to God about how financially difficult it is right now for our small company. Almost as soon as the words left my lips, this verse popped into my mind…

“Rejoice in the Lord, always, and again, I say, rejoice!” (Philippians 4:4)

I can fondly remember singing this verse in a round as a child in Sunday School. At the time, I wasn’t thinking about a busted, broke-down economy, high mortgages, gas-guzzling SUV’s or the cost of 3 kids in private school. I was just praising God in the best way I knew how with no set of particular circumstances in mind. And under normal, everyday, 6-year-old circumstances, that just isn’t all that hard to do.

When Paul wrote this passage to the church at Philippi, his circumstances were quite different than mine during my round singing days at church. He didn’t write this passage while lounging by the pool at the Ritz or in a coconut hut in Saint Tropez. No, he wrote this passage while heavily shackled in a Roman prison, praying for a crack of daylight. Where he was, there were no little umbrellas in fruity drinks, and let’s just say that his roomies were likely not round singing types.

His circumstances? Hardly rejoice-worthy.

Yet he wrote those words as an encouragement to those Philippi friends, and almost certainly…to himself. In fact, he says the same thing twice in the same verse, which leads me to believe that either the dust mites in prison were getting to his head and causing him to forget what he had just said, or he thought it so important it deserved saying it more than once. I tend to believe the latter.

Friends, we live in a time of real problems under real circumstances – we are real people dealing with real life. And I won’t lie to you…sometimes, real life gets pretty tough.

But real life and real problems don’t make this verse any less applicable or important. And regardless of whether our circumstances were different the first time we heard this verse or what they will be the next time we hear this verse, its truth doesn’t change. Because no matter what else happens, God doesn’t stop being worth rejoicing over.

In this simple verse, Paul doesn’t tell us to rejoice in our bank account. Or in our stocks or our Gucci handbags. Or in our relationships. Or in our home or even, in our church. He simply tells us to rejoice in the one Thing that isn’t affected by a recession or world crisis. He tells us to rejoice in JESUS.

So I go into this week with this verse on my mind, living in a world with a busted, broken-down economy, with bills to pay and a to-do list a mile long.

But I go rejoicing in Jesus, because He doesn’t need a buy-out to maintain His position in the Universe. His status as I AM is not taking a 20% decrease this year nor is He going out of business.

He is still the same God He was back when Paul wrote about him in a dingy prison – the same God I sung about in my round singing days in Sunday School. My circumstances are different, but my powerful God is not.

Rejoice, this week, friends, and always. Oh, and don't forget to rejoice.

P.S. I plan to post again on Wednesday or Thursday, so please come back! We had our annual Whittle class Christmas party this weekend, as well as a tree chopping excursion in the mountains, complete with 4 adults, 7 kids and 2 small dogs in a 15-passenger van. And I've got pictures to prove it. :)

His Gift to a Humpty Dumpty like Me

Well, another Thanksgiving has come and gone.
Black Friday has, too.
And now, 24 days until Christmas.

I don’t know about you, but I am really feeling the holiday buzz this year. And I am determined – maybe more than ever before -- to remember what the season is really all about!

So when I came across this passage over the weekend, I knew it was a gentle reminder from Him to help me in my desire to “keep it real” over Christmas.

(A word of caution before you read it…read it slowly and soak it in. You may even need to re-read a few times. It’s REALLY that good. )

“Why is everyone hungry for more?
‘More, more,’ they say. ‘More, more.’
I have God's more-than-enough,
more joy in one ordinary day than they get in all their shopping sprees.
At day's end I'm ready for sound sleep,
for you, God, have put my life back together.” Psalm 4:6-8 (The Message)

No commentary needed.

This beautiful passage speaks for itself.

Needless to say, I'll be adding a new tradition to the others this year: reading Psalm 4:6-8 for the next 24 days and thinking about...

...God's more than enough.

...more joy in one ordinary day than in all the shopping sprees.

...sound sleep.

...Him putting my Humpty Dumpty self back together again.

Wanna join me?

Doggone Tired

This fashionista in the cute pink sweater is what has been keeping me busy the past week. (Her sister, sitting underneath her, is doing the same to my girlfriend, Michelle!)

As if PMS, a sinus infection and Thanksgiving dinner at my house this week weren’t stressful enough, my husband and I decided to speed up my impending insanity and adopt a little black fur ball as an early Christmas present for our children. They say she is “man’s best friend” (whoever “they” are), but as of today, I remain unconvinced. Please don't think I'm uncaring, as I grew up dog-less and up until Sunday, had yet to experience the love of being a pet owner. Perhaps my bias comes from the fact I am heavy in the throws of potty training a sweet, precious puppy that prefers my carpet to the great outdoors. Oh, where is the dog whisperer when I need him?

Advice is appreciated. Support and understanding is preferred. :)

So in order to avoid having to don a white straight jacket and reside in a padded room, I have decided to take this week off from blogging. Since I know you support my desire for mental health and well-being, I say "thank you" for the grace as I take a few days off to decompress and bond with our cute little Maggie!

But as we near Thanksgiving Day, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to let you know how much I appreciate you, my bloggy friends, and how thankful I am that God has allowed something I never intended to do in the first place to turn into a most beautiful blessing in my life.

Now I will pray that my experience with said fashionista in the cute pink sweater will turn out the same. :)

Happy Thanksgiving, friends!