An Honest Blog

I have learned, over time, not to try to write something significant when I don’t have it on my heart to write.

Don’t get me wrong – it’s not that God is not showing me anything. I would misrepresent the past few weeks if I were to imply that. But it just that there are those times that so much is in my heart that I am not sure exactly how to let it come out and have it make much sense to someone else. It’s in those times that I just have to acknowledge that I may not write the kind of blog I really want to sit down and write – one that is pressing on my heart and flows with great meaning and some sort of spiritual insight is offered to the reader. Today is one of those times and this blog is not one of those {greatly insightful} blogs.

I’m trying to be ok with it.

Because, you see, my blog and blog readers are important to me. It took me a long time to be willing to share my heart in such an honest way with people who could access it any time they wanted by a click of a mouse. I resisted it, wildly, at first. But it has truly been one of the most amazing blessings in my life – between the people I have met and the ones who read anonymously but share in my life, and everyone in between. All of you mean a great deal to me, if I haven’t told you so lately. ☺

And so, I don’t want to let you down now that you’re here.

I’ve thought about taking a blogging break, simply because I would rather not have you coming here to expect something to be worth your time to read and instead get sporadic details about my crazy, busy life when your life is crazy, busy, too, and you sacrifice something to even show up here in the first place. But my heart just won’t let me do that, for some reason. So I hold on to this blogging thing I love, praying for wisdom to know when and if to pause from it for a season.

But that day is not today. So for today (which I’m learning to live for), here’s what I’m gonna do.

I’m gonna just be honest and say I am very stretched right now – emotionally, physically, spiritually, creatively. My role of wife and mother to three has not stopped since adding a title of pastor’s wife, church launcher, She Seeks coordinator, and author of a forthcoming 3rd book, et al.

I’m gonna admit to you that I am way behind in my email correspondence, a fact those of you who have written to me and haven’t heard back already know. (So sorry, friends. ☹)

I’m gonna tell you that I am frustrated at the relationships I want to pour more into but can’t, simply because I am responsible to do things that effect more than just me.

I’m gonna acknowledge that I have spent a good bit of the past two months asking God why in the world He has so much for me to do and why in the world He seems to think I can do it.

I’m gonna tell you that I am tired. And, by the way, so is my brain.

I’m gonna just tell the truth about my very crazy, busy life. I’m not gonna sugar coat it or make you believe I am able to juggle all this seamlessly and without any tears, questions or blown off steam. (Thank you, treadmill ☺)

I know you can relate to me.

So know from the get-go that I’m not writing anything in this blog that will blow you away with insight. The simple and not-at-all clever title of this blog should have tipped you off to that. But since I have already determined that you relate to me (assuming, yes), I do want to share with you a few things God is reminding me of, in the midst of all the craziness of my life in the hopes that they may be of some help to you, as well. They are my spiritual silver linings, and they are in no particular order or clarity.

1) Don’t take daily time with God out of the equation, just because it seems like it would, at times, be easier to. {I need Him, not the other way around.}

2) Do what I can do and acknowledge what I can’t. {Which happens to be a lot these days.}

3) Be ok with sacrificing things and even, people, for the most important relationship in my life. {Admittedly, this is a tough one for me.}

4) Remember what this whole life thing is really all about. {Temporary highs and lows with a steady and sure eternal end.}

5) Please God and let everyone else think what they want. {Another tough one for me, but I'm slowly getting it.}

6) Cry, if needed. {There’s a reason that lump in my throat is there.}

7) Know that I won’t ever go anywhere or go through anything that will take me off His radar screen for even a second. {I still can’t fathom the fact that I am always on His mind. So are you, by the way.}

8) Look for things to get rid of that don’t facilitate growth in my relationship with God and keep me from personal health and wellness. {This requires wisdom, friends. It also requires courage.}

9) Appreciate people who love me. {Honestly, sometimes I’m not sure why anyone would want to hang out with me.}

10) Pray like crazy. {Period.}

And yes, there are more. But because I am trying to exercise numbers 2, 8, and 9, I simply must make that all for now. :)

While it may not be what you came by here expecting, I pray that you found something in this post to encourage you today…this week…right now. It’s a crazy, busy life for us, friends. But if we live with #4 in mind, we can make our way through all the madness life inevitably brings. For I am convinced that sometimes it takes all the madness life offers to bring us to the point where we have no other choice but to start looking up. Oh, it's good when we do that.

“Blessed be the Lord— day after day he carries us along. He's our Savior, our God, oh yes! He's God-for-us, he's God-who-saves-us.” (Psalm 68:19 The Msg)

HomeStretch

Hi friends!
I am finishing up some writing for a new book project and have almost met deadline. I will be posting later on this week, after I can clear my mind enough to come up with something to blog about. Hey -- maybe I'll try something like prayer. Think God would give me a post? I'm counting on it.

Love you, my faithful blog readers!

Let's Do Something Together

If you boil it all down, THRIVE CHARLOTTE is built on the 1st and 2nd commandments…

~Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and strength…

and

~Love your neighbor as yourself.

Based on our own experience, Pastor Scotty and I happen to believe that most of us haven’t gotten these two concepts down very well, so far in our Christian life. The truth is that we see in ourselves and others where some of our ideas, traditions and yes, even good-old church policies have actually gotten in the way of doing life with God in the way He intended in the first place. The result of which is some really good church-going people walking around really dissatisfied with life. And even worse than that? They haven’t a clue why.

We have been there.

So now, we want to help people THRIVE in these two commandments. It is our strongest belief that when we do, the good intentions of believers everywhere will actually become a reality and no one will have to talk us into personal holiness.

We aren’t about the bigger and the better. That’s been done and done, again. We are about scaling all that back and trying something simple like…I don’t know…maybe just doing what the Bible says to do.

Love God – Love your neighbor.

It’s about spiritual community, first with God, then spilling over to others. Which is why THRIVE CHARLOTTE’s “tagline” is made up of just 4 simple words.

Let’s do something together.

We started living out this tagline on week one that THRIVE had a pulse, with the shoe thing. Now on week 3, we lived it out, again, when 60-something people from ages 11 to 65 met on a traditional Sunday church morning to go and serve food, sort clothes and provide a service for a portion of the growing homeless community in Charlotte. It was 7am, chilly outside, and the incentive certainly wasn’t a custom THRIVE koozie, since we don’t have them. But people showed up, enthusiastic and eager to tackle their THRIVE LIVE mission.

Were I to go into everything we experienced that day, this would be an excruciatingly long blog for you to read. But because I suspect at this point I may still have your attention, please allow me to simply hit the highlights. For the bigger picture is much more important than the all the precious details we will forever take away from this 2nd Commandment experience.

The first amazing thing was meeting Sister Rosa. Sister is the 5’4” dynamo who runs the Harvest Center and runs it like a tight ship. She doesn’t play and doesn’t want you to, either. Meeting her, I certainly didn’t want to! As we gathered in an upper room, she told us about her experience growing up on the very streets she now ministers to. She didn’t try to pretend she had always lived a neat little Christian life, tied up with a neat little Christian bow. Instead she was, just…real. Raw. A take-no-bull kind of girl, and I liked her. A lot.

Almost right away, she had us working, doing everything from sorting donated clothes to chopping potatoes for the lunch we would also serve. With all of us scattered about in our black, green and white THRIVE t-shirts, she made sure to let us know that if we were going to wear such a bold claim on our bodies that she was going to hold us to it. “If you’re not thriving, the best thing you can do is take off those shirts right now,” she said with a half grin. All of us took her exhortation seriously, and none of us wanted to be the one who didn’t prove it true.

And so we worked. All of us. We sorted and chopped and served. One of us sang. (Props to Jamie Morgan and his cool pick-up band) Pastor Scotty preached.

I could see the skepticism on faces as my hyper-sanguine pastor/hubby got up on the purple satin curtained stage to speak. After all, most of them were not used to a short white man in ripped jeans and a goatee preaching to them. But it didn’t take long to change their minds. Because in the next 30 minutes that Pastor Scotty spoke, God’s spirit fell. The message was powerful, and so was the response.

At the very invitation to come to Jesus, 20+ people raised their hand and prayed to receive Christ into their heart. For a moment, our physical and social differences didn’t matter. We were all in the presence of an Almighty God. And it was beautiful.

On a personal note, I prayed with a woman named Jessica that morning. She had beautiful brown eyes and skin to match. It was the softest I have ever touched, except for my babies when they were infants. I might not know that except for the fact of what she did. While I was praying with her, with my hands resting on her shoulders, she took one of them and placed it, open palm, on her face. I could sense the lump in my throat when she did, and I felt it’s significance to both of us. With my hand resting now on her cheek, I could feel her hot tears spilling onto my hand. The truth is, they were spilling out my eyes at the same time.

I thought about our obvious differences. We were two very different women, I suspected. But as is the need of all humankind, we both needed God in a very raw, very real way, which bonded us in a significant way. After we finished praying, I looked into her eyes and she looked in my heart. For a minute, we trusted each other, though neither one of us had reason to. She called me, “Maam.” I told her I wouldn’t forget to pray for her. She asked me if I would remember her name. I told her I would.

With this experience fresh on my mind, upon my return home from the Center I read a quote by one of my favorite authors, Brennan Manning. It made me think about the THRIVERS who showed up that day to serve and summarized my feelings about what I experienced at the Harvest Center, perfectly.

{Get ready for pure genius, readers.}

“The wild, unrestricted love of God is not simply an inspiring idea. When it imposes itself on mind and heart with the stark reality of ontological truth, it determines why and at what time you get up in the morning, how you pass your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, and who you hang with; it affects what breaks your heart, what amazes you, and what makes your heart happy.” (The Furious Longing of God)

I know this quote is true because I have seen it for myself.

Going to the Harvest Center, I watched 60+ people do something unique, different, uncomfortable, and maybe even, heart breaking. And yet, no one asked about childcare or compensation or recognition or really, even, safety. No one asked when it would all be over and they could go home to their cushy couch for a regularly scheduled Sunday afternoon nap.

In fact, when we were though and our “duties” were done, no one got up to leave. There was a strange sense of excitement and fulfillment in the air, as well as the desire to linger just a little longer. Maybe we wanted to serve some more. Maybe we wanted to meet our own needs by staying. All I know is that I saw a look of joy and peace on the faces of THRIVERS, ages 11-65, who had, on this particular day, lived out the 2nd Commandment.

Don’t tell me people aren’t willing to step up and serve.

Don’t tell me people don’t want to be challenged.

Don’t tell me people won’t join hands with other ministries to do something together for the cause of Jesus Christ.

I don’t believe it because I’ve seen it done.

With one flamboyant Sister, 60+ t-shirt wearing THRIVERS, and a great and mighty God at the helm, originator of the brilliant concept of Kingdom-minded teamwork.

Thriving to Change

Hi Friends!

Thank you so much for hanging with me for the past month, as I have not been doing a whole lot of writing on this blog. Please know the intention was there, the time just wasn’t! ☺ Thanks for understanding!

Today I am FINALLY blogging about the launch of THRIVE CHURCH CHARLOTTE. Thanks for your interest and for patiently waiting until I could wrap my mind around the day enough to get some thoughts out about it.

And for those of you interested in She Seeks, I plan to post an update on that on Friday of this week. So, please stay tuned.

And...look for my next Monday post to be about the experience I had today serving the homeless community of Charlotte. It was a beautiful day in so many ways, and I can’t wait to share about it.

Of course, all this hinges on whether or not a child falls off something and requires stitches…I get the stomach bug and can’t muster up the strength to type…or my computer crashes and works against me. In which case I would have to break my word and not post until later. Hopefully none of those things happen, of course. Got too much to do to have a crisis. ☺

And now…the post…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


In the past three weeks I have experienced three things I never have before.

~Given my favorite shoes right off my feet and walked out of church in disposable flipflops.

~Saw someone pass from death to life on Easter Sunday in the ballroom of a hotel.

~Said the THRIVE declaration (you fellow THRIVERS know what I’m talking about! ☺) during church with 200 of my new homeless friends, on their turf.

It has been, without a doubt, some of the most memorable weeks of my life. Rich. Full. Interesting. Different. And…refreshingly…challenging.

When I wrote THIS BLOG over a year ago, I would have never guessed where I would be right now in many ways. I wouldn’t have predicted the past three weeks. I might not have been ready for them, if I had. But in many ways, I craved them. You can hear it in this blog.

Because inside of me there has been this place all along – a desire – a craving -- to be challenged like I have never been challenged before. Challenged to think less about my traditions and more about what Jesus would do. Challenged to push what I thought I could do for God to the absolute limit. Challenged to crave the interesting and raw over the safe and the content.

On a very personal note, I admit, there has been a temptation for me to blog about THRIVE CHURCH CHARLOTTE since it’s launch, three weeks ago. I am so excited about the mission of this church and what it stands for. I am so excited about it’s future and all the plans and dreams and goals we have. I am so excited about how it came to be and what it is built upon. And the truth is, I have started blogging about it on four different occasions. But I have always ditched the post and started a new one. I was waiting for a specific direction that would be what HE wanted me to share. Today as I sat to write, the words simply flowed. And I am finally able to share what’s in my very full heart.

Because my heart is full of Jesus. And He tends to supersede my need to provide specific details or mission statements or purpose points. I suspect there will be a time for that. But it’s not now. Not today.

But back to week one at THRIVE.

When I gave my favorite "speaking" shoes the first week of THRIVE, it was hard. For weeks I knew what Scotty was going to challenge the congregation to do – give their very best to God…give what they had to someone who needed it more than they did -- and to be honest, it excited me on a very terrified level. My flesh was convinced that some people might be put off by it. My fear-side screamed at me to ask him to pull the plug on it -- not to challenge people in such a bold way at the very 1st service. I mean, we were trying to attract people to come. In my traditional mind, I was sure we needed the colored lights, the expensive cameras, the rockin’ videos and maybe even some candy to bribe the kids. A raw “come to Jesus” moment involving asking people to give up their shoes just might not rub people the right way. I knew we were asking for the most expensive. I knew we were asking for the favorites. I knew we were asking for the best. And I wasn’t sure any of us, including me, were quite ready for that.

But oh, how I underestimated the very powerful challenge of God.

A little girl on the front row responded to the challenge, first. Pastor Scotty wasn’t even finished laying out the challenge before she sprung to her feet and led the way.

A mass of people followed after her, shoes in hand.

And as I watched men in full suits first file to the front of the room with their best shoes and then walk out of the room in a pair of baby blue flip flops…

As I watched women give up one day old well-shopped for shoes, some that cost as much as a night at the Ritz…

As I watched children pray in the halls about being willing to give up their favorite, broken in tennis shoes and velvet shoes adored with the pretty jewels…

I remembered the desire for the challenge that is in all of us. The same challenge; hungered for within me.

And as they responded to it, on their faces I saw joy. Pure joy. Joy in the challenge.

It defied the logic my human mind wanted me to hang onto.

And it made me cry.

Sitting in a metal chair, looking down at the busiest carpet I had ever seen in my life, I praised God for not letting my human fear of rejection stand in the way of His work, His challenge. And I apologized to Him for not giving the power of His challenging Word enough credit.

Really, they should have wanted the lights. They should have wanted the stage and the perfection. They should have wanted the familiar.

But the raw and very real challenge was enough to satisfy the longing in their heart.

It was simply…enough.

As I write this today from the deepest places of my heart, I am praying that challenge inside all of us will never be FULLY and COMPLETELY satisfied. For it is the longing of the challenge that leads us to minister in ways that keeps us from becoming what we don’t like about ourselves in the first place. It is what keeps us from the false idea that God will never use us like the person on our right. Or the bogus thought that we were meant to only do the mediocre. Or that we are stuck -- that all we know to do is all we can ever know to do.

Those are things we experience, only when the “challenge” is left unmet.

Giving the very shoes off one’s feet and leaving church, headed to Sunday lunch in disposable flip-flops is challenging. Unconventional. Radical. Freeing.

Spending the day serving homeless friends is, too.

My inner wild child longs to never stop living the challenge. Because it is in the challenge that I find my most fulfilling life. It’s the call I live for. And in it I find the way I always wanted to love Jesus more, serve people in a way that I really mean it, and dive into my own heart to find purpose in what I am even doing here in the first place. In it, I live out the first and second commandment in a new and different way. It is what THRIVE is built on. It is what we, as a body and as individuals, were born to do.

I’ll trade a pair of my favorite shoes for that any day.

If You're Still Reading :)

Hi Friends!
With two writing projects due this week and next, I'm afraid I am going to have to pause on my Monday post, once again. Please know that I WILL be giving updates on the two biggie ministry endeavors I currently have going on: THRIVE CHURCH CHARLOTTE and She Seeks. Please keep checking back with me. I'll post something soon.

Much love and thanks for coming to my blog!

God of the Both-And

I wanted to write about the launch of THRIVE CHURCH CHARLOTTE today, partly because I know you want to hear about it…partly because I said I would…and partly because it was amazing and needs to be shared about. But it will have to wait until next week. Cause I have a blog sitting on my heart, and something much more important to share today.

I’ll start with my new Bible.

First, you need to know that I love it. It’s in a translation that speaks to my desire for easy understanding, and I can now refer to it without having to pop over to biblegateway.com and look things up. Small inconvenience that is now a non-issue, thanks to a trip to Barnes and Noble and my husband’s desire to hear me stop complaining. :)

I cracked it open today to hear from my Heavenly Father, as my thoughts have been on Him since the sun came through my windows. Interestingly, I find myself in my personal study of the Old Testament, still perched in the book of I Kings. Not exactly where I wanted to be today, but probably the best place for me on this Good Friday.

After reading about all the lunacy and wickedness of the little “k” kings in the first 16 chapters of this book, I admit that I was ready for my civilized Jesus to come in and save me from the madness I found myself immersed in. And He did, though not in the way I expected.

Because in the midst of {king} Elah getting drunk and being too loaded to realize someone was murdering him…{king} Zimri taking out an entire family in the 7 measly days he had the authority to do so…and {king} Omri successfully {and moronically} achieving the title of “more evil than any of the kings before him,” I remembered something.

Just how different my big “K” King is.

My King {the real one, by the way} is royal and regal and doesn’t do self-destructive things. He is pure and pristine and doesn’t blemish Himself by turning His back on holiness. He wears His Kingly wisdom and authority well. In fact, so well, none has or can or will ever match it.

And yet, He is different in another way.

Because though He is every bit a King, He is every bit the God of the real and the raw. He is not out of touch with reality, sitting so far up on a throne that He does not understand the “commoners” below Him. Not at all. In fact, out of all the things there is to love about my King, the thing I love the most about Him is how He gets down to my muddied level and remains every bit of who He is while dealing with who I am not. He is civilized and Kingly, yet He reaches out to me in an untamed and wildly bold way.

For anyone else, this would be a paradox. But not for my King.

He doesn’t contradict Himself by being both. In fact, it is in His “both” that makes Him worthy to be called King of Kings and Lord of Lords. No one else can be equally good at meeting the needs within all of us for an ultimate authority figure with everything under perfect control and yet a down-to-earth Savior who isn’t afraid to get His hands dirty in dealing with our personal messes.

In fact, no one even comes close.

And so, today, I praise God for the reminder of my Lord and my King, Jesus Christ --in whom I love, respect, praise and adore. And I praise God for my very personal Lord and Father, Jesus Christ -- in whom I can let down and just be me, knowing He will not pull out the title that is rightfully His in such a way that I feel like I am not worthy of His friendship, understanding and tender care.

I praise my big “K” King, the God of the royal and the raw. For to me, He is every bit of both.

It is His day today. Everyday is His day.

Glory.

Ready...Set...Launch!

In more ways than one, this weekend is a launch for our family.

As most of you know, my husband and I will be leading a new body of believers at THRIVE CHURCH CHARLOTTE, launching this Sunday (April 5). As we countdown the hours to “liftoff”, our feelings are a melting pot of joy, inadequacy, and peace in this new ministry venture. It is bigger…wider…and deeper than anything we could have ever thought to attempt to do. But we have learned that our minds are much too finite to ever be on the same page with God. Our spirit is joined with His. But His thoughts and ways? Massively bigger than ours.

And so, we launch! And we launch with great anticipation with what He is capable of doing. We launch, knowing where our passion for this ministry, already born in our hearts, comes from. We launch with our palms turned upward, asking God to take our little and turn it into much. We launch with a clear vision and mission in mind. We launch as a team. We launch with support and love and prayers. And most of all, we launch with the approval stamp from our Lord. Throughout this process, it is the only One we have sought to secure.

But as I have had the word “launch” on my brain, the Lord has opened my eyes to see an even greater way of looking at it.

Because in this process, our children have been on the forefront of our minds. We’ve asked ourselves all the questions you might think with a start-up church, and then some. Would they adapt? Adjust? Would they be disappointed? Overwhelmed? Excited? Would they grow and learn? Would they even be ok?

Up to this point, our children have known a life of comfort. Certainly, we are not wealthy. We have a beautiful brick home in a safe and reputable community. We drive dependable cars that take us where we need to go. We have way too many clothes in all of our closets. And like most families we know, our children have grown up with things at their fingertips and new gadgets at every turn. The want factors have been high and the need factors have been low. And they’ve certainly never lacked.

And now, for the first time in their young life, they will want and not have right away. They will handle old toys instead of new, donated rather than bought. They will see hard work, not snap-your-fingers-and-it’s-done. They will see people working, not merely watching. They will be told to roll up their sleeves and do something rather than relax and let it be done for you. And they will miss what they do not have.

Or will they?

I’m not sure they will.

Because as God so gently and lovingly reminded me this week, growth happens for all of us when we serve, rather than when we sit. As does character. And contentment.

And He reminded me that Kingdom work is about teaming up, not dividing and conquering.

And within every one of us lies the desire to be challenged to do more and do it with less.

And the things that will keep my children in church past the age of 18 will not be the cool coloring projects or finger puppets or me simply telling them this-is-what-we- do-on-Sunday-because-it’s-the-way-we’ve-always-done-it but the way we help LAUNCH A PASSION for JESUS CHRIST into the deepest places in their soul by stepping out of our comfort zones and obeying the voice of God. Friends, simple tradition will not make my kids love Jesus more. But teaching them to serve? Letting them feel what it’s like to have less? Getting them to see that the spirit of God lives in many churches, not just one? That is what will make an imprint on their little hearts. Prayerfully, it is what will help them get to know the very heart of Jesus. He came to serve. Now they will understand what that really means and get to practice it, themselves.

And I can’t tell you how excited that makes me.

We are ready. We are set. And we will launch…this Sunday, April 5. But by far, I am praying that the most successful launch is the one that goes the deepest and stays the longest. It is the launch of a passion for Jesus Christ that is unable to be rivaled by anything else. And my kids aren’t the only ones who need it.

Oh Yes, Lord Jesus. I am ready to launch.

P.S. I'll be on Spring Break next week with my kids -- going to the beach for a time of R and R after the crazy past month! I'll blog when I get back, probably the end of the week. I'll let you know how "liftoff" went! :)