I, Me, and My Gifts

He carried it into the room, breathing heavy but grinning madly.

“Well, here it is, honey. Your birthday present. Happy Birthday, Lisa!”

I stared for a minute at the massive cardboard box. Sizing it up, I quickly determined that the tiny pair of earrings I had been eyeing at Zales was NOT inside.

Scotty could hardly suppress his excitement as he lifted the bulky box off the concealed present. When it was finally uncovered, I paused at the sight of all 42 inches of Magnavox staring back at me.

“Is this for me, honey? A flat screen TV? Are you sure it’s a birthday present for me?” I asked.

“Yes! Of course it is! Don’t you like it?” he replied back.

“Well…uh…sure. Thanks, honey…for MY birthday present. It’s kind of like that lingerie you bought ME on our anniversary. Something for ME, right?” I grinned at him and he grinned back, sheepishly. Without a word, both of us knew what the deal with the birthday gift (and the lingerie) REALLY was.

A year later, I still tease him about that birthday gift “for me.” The gesture was sweet, although somewhere down deep we both know that the gift he bought and offered to me was really more for his enjoyment and pleasure.

It was just given in the name of “gift.”

As I prayed about and considered what to add to this chapter of Ms. Spirituality, this simple illustration came to mind. It reminds me of what we often do when it comes to “giving” things to God, all in the name of something spiritual.

Please don't misunderstand me. It’s not that offering things to God is wrong, but rather, we are to offer our very selves to Him, for that is what He truly desires about anything else. But when we offer a “gift” to God, shrouded in the name of “spirituality” yet with a motive of feeding our own flesh, it is not a true sacrifice or spiritual act of surrender. It is simply another way we attempt to give God gifts we really intend to keep for ourselves.

And that, quite honestly, breaks His heart. It was not His idea for us then, and it is not His idea for us now.

Right before I started to write this post, God impressed on my heart to write it without using the word “I” in it. The truth is, as I look back at my blogs from the past, I am surprised at how many times I use that word in every one.

So I began thinking about how to go about writing this blog without using that word. And because I agree with my friend, Mary, that writing about myself in third person might not only be a bit awkward, but also a bit annoying, I began to dig for what God might be trying to say to me through the impression of not using the word “I” in this blog.

I think I’ve figured out His point. Ironically, it is the same main point of the Ms. Spirituality chapter…

In order to please and love God in a genuine and truthful way, “I” must take the “I” out of everything I do for Him.

That includes my gifts of time.

And of service.

And even, of worship.

There is no room in my "gifts" to God for my ego, my self-interests, or my desire for approval from others.

And if I, like Ms. Spirituality, offer God gifts of service to feed my own flesh, I will find myself finally retreating and/or collapsing, exhausted and burnt out from my endless attempt at “doing.” I will find shallow approval in the admiration of others. And I will be left to wonder why I am not fulfilled when I am so clearly “giving” tangible gifts to God.

The truth is, at some point and time, there’s been a little of Ms. Spirituality in all of us.

And what we need to know is that the Almighty Recipient of our “gifts” would much rather have a small, sincere box full of our surrender than a gigantic box full of an ulterior motive. He would much rather have our heart privately than watch a public display of our "oh yes" without any real depth or sincerity.

The bottom line truth to this blog is the bottom line truth of all our service to God, and that is that the ultimate gift giver Himself is interested in the gift, only if it is truly given to Him.

Not wrapped up with His name on it, but bearing the fingerprints of our own desires inside.

P.S. Yes to God girlfriends…I greatly apologize for not getting to your blogs as intended this week. Between deadlines and unexpected company and field trips and life(!), it just wasn’t possible. Please know that your comments are very important to me, as I love to hear how God is working in your heart through this book I am so passionate about. If the Lord will help increase my time capacity…and teach me to how to better manage it…I WILL be by this week! I am continuing to pray for you as you continue on in your journey for truth!